I’ve written here before about how important it is to do your own things in a relationship.  I spend a decent amount of time doing my own thing each week.  From drinks with girlfriends to tutoring, from morning workouts to mornings at the coffee house, I’m often out and about without Mike. Last week I was reminded of another thing I like to do without Mike and actually probably need a little bit more of in my life: hang out at home. alone.

Last Thursday, I was home from Girls on the Run by 5:30. Mike was at happy hour with former co-workers and wouldn’t be home til late.  I made a quick dinner for myself, a lackluster quesadilla with salsa and ate it.

It was 6:00, probably earlier, and I had the entire night ahead of me.  I had nothing to do.  No tutoring, no coaching calls. Just an entire Thursday evening to myself. What would I do for 3 or 4 hours?

I started by taking a nice, long, hot shower.  Took my good ‘ole time and enjoyed the warmth and relaxation of the water.  While warm, my morning showers are usually pretty quick, I do what I need to do and get out so I can get on to breakfast.

I got out, put on my robe, and got in bed to read The Other Boleyn Girl. Within 5-10 pages I was sleepy and decided to take a nap.  I napped for about half an hour, woke up, and read a little more.

I got out of bed and I can’t even remember exactly what I did next. I think I moved to the couch and read a little more. At some point, I sat down at my computer and started writing. I got a good bit of writing done. I did the dishes. I dried my hair. I got in bed around 9:30 and watched Downton Abbey on the iPad and went to bed. And it was wonderful.

It’s not like I can’t do any of these things while Mike is there.  Of course I could. But when Mike’s around, I want to spend time with him, watch TV, relax. And if we are doing separate things, Mike’s probably watching TV or listening to sports talk or doing the dishes or something that is making some kind of noise. It’s not just him.  I do the same things.

There’s nothing like being alone in your apartment.  To be able to move around the apartment doing whatever you want when you want.  You can read in bed and then move to the couch to watch TV and then listen to music and be on the computer. You can clean without worrying about making too much noise or moving around someone.

I remember having this feeling before: on a Sunday morning when Mike was off running some errands,  I was able to lay on the couch and read my book. And the apartment was so quiet. This is bliss, I thought.

I need to make a point to have more periods of time like this.

Let’s talk:

When was the last time you were home alone? What’s your favorite thing to do when no one’s around?