Today is a good day.

It’s 7:16 am and it’s a good day.

It was a good day when I woke up this morning.

What I mean when I say that it’s a good day is that my anxiety is low today. I woke up feeling content with my life. When I woke up at 6:30, it was the first time I’d woken up since I went to bed at 10:30. That is huge for me.

Of course, I want to know, start to speculate why it’s a good day. Is it because I’ve written for the last three days, now four?

When I started morning pages, that was the case. By day three the internal cadence in my mind was much slower.

This morning is great because I’m not worrying about what should I do when I get out of bed, not worrying about friends, family, etc. Not worrying about work or when I should take my business full-time or what the next step of my business is, even. Or what I will have for lunch or breakfast – maybe that’s the key – having food on hand.

I’m just here. Content. I put the coffee on. I did a little questioning about whether or not to get back in bed and decided that I could wake up on the couch. I did get back in for a few minutes and then my allergies forced me out. I’m glad. A few quiet minutes to myself in the morning reading is good for my soul.

And now I’m writing again.

Writing is my communion. It’s what I need to do to be in relationship with myself.

I don’t have to know where these words will ultimately end up.

Why do I worry so much about the longevity of things? What if I thought of my words like I thought about nail polish? Pretty and what I’m in the mood for now? You don’t sit to get your nails done and think they’ll last longer than they will. What if my words don’t have to apply forever, they just have to be true today?

Speaking of the longevity of things, of course, one of my thoughts about the good day today, one of the reasons I want to know why today is a good day, is so that I can replicate it tomorrow. And the next day. And have fewer and fewer whatever-the-opposite-of-this-feeling-is days in the future.

But here’s another way to handle the good days – ENJOY THEM. That’s an option. I don’t have to dissect it, analyze it, look at it from all angles to figure out the one thing that’s contributing the most to this feeling. Maybe I can just be in it. Right now. This feels good. Mmm, this still feels good. Why make a project out of the good times? Why not just enjoy them?