Author: jplatt27

a fraternity house & a pain in my heart

Posted on by jplatt27

I was driving back from the grocery store and passed a fraternity house in the neighborhood. There were guys and girls outside grilling burgers and drinking beer.  It was an Indian summer night–high 70’s on October 24. The whole thing seemed so carefree.

I only saw them for a second but I got a pang of nostalgia in my heart. I miss those days when your life could be dictated by the weather.  Hey, yeah, it’s warm out, let’s have a cook out. And everyone you know is pretty much free for burgers and beer pong.

Prior to this scene I was proud of myself for making the commitment to go to the grocery store on a weeknight after I’d already been home from work, for deciding to be proactive and get the ingredients to make pumpkin dip for my book club.

Like woah, I’m old. Not only am I not in college anymore, but enough time has passed that I could’ve gotten another undergraduate degree.  Done the entire thing over again.

I miss those days of friends all the time, group lunches, shorts and flip flops, and boys walking around in backward hats.

Thinking back on this scene now, I’m filled with the same intense nostalgia that hit me that night. I’ve had bouts of nostalgia a few times over the years, but nothing like this.  I’m not sure where it’s coming from and why it’s staying with me.  I just know it’s here now.

 

 

i can't believe it

Posted on by jplatt27

I can’t believe it! My husband can not read my mind.

Things I’ve been thinking about for a while, he doesn’t know.

Things I’ve been thinking about over and over and over again, he’s hearing for the first time.  Woah.

It’s like if I don’t say it, he doesn’t know it.

But he’s my husband–shouldn’t he know these things?

I mean we sleep next to each other, we share a bed–how can he not know what I like, what’s got me stressed, what I’m most interested in at the moment? How can he not know when I’m totally at peace, when I’m full of anxiety, or when I’m experiencing pure bliss?

I don’t get it.

But, then again, I can’t read his mind either.

my favorite outfit

Posted on by jplatt27

On my business blog yesterday I shared an exercise for self-reflection based on your favorite outfit. Here are my answers:

What is your favorite outfit?

My weekend morning outfit: Gap G-flex yoga pants, a cotton tank, and a long cardigan

What do you like about this outfit?

I like that it’s comfortable but also looks put together.

How does this outfit make you feel?

Relaxed but motivated to go do something, cute (these pants look good on my butt!), like myself, cozy

How do you move in this outfit?

Confidently, with ease, with a little pep

What activities can you do in this outfit?

Run errands, read a book, go to my favorite coffee shop, go to yoga, lay on the couch, relax, cook

——

Tell me some of your answers and then head on over to www.cupofteacoaching.com/blog to read part two of the exercise!

an early Christmas present for my husband

Posted on by jplatt27

We hit quite a bit of traffic on our way home for Christmas. Mike is a pretty even-keeled person, doesn’t really get worked up about things. But when it comes to traffic–not so much. He gets super grumpy and frustrated by it. He’ll start huffing and puffing, throwing his head back, you get the idea.

I don’t think we’d even hit Baltimore before I heard this comment: “Yep, time for more traffic, it’s been 5 minutes since we were sitting in traffic, it’s time.”  It was going to be a long ride.

Of course, I didn’t want to start my Christmas vacation on a grumpy mood and Mike didn’t either–we’d planned to take our time on Saturday morning and go to our favorite coffee shop before hitting the road.  I perused the bookstore for a few minutes on our way out (one of my favorite activities) and found three gifts!  Then, I was ready for a nice leisurely drive.

Then traffic hit.  I could feel Mike getting irritated as we crawled along.

And then it hit me: just because he’s grumpy doesn’t mean I have to be grumpy.  I can sit back and enjoy the ride–regardless of how fast or how slow we’re moving. So I did. I relaxed into my seat and into my thoughts and looked out the window.

I enjoyed the ride.  I really did.  I was so proud of myself for not taking on his mood.  I have a tendency to pick up other people’s energy but with that realization comes the power to make a different choice.  So I did.

Getting grumpy because Mike’s grumpy not only sours my mood, it doesn’t help Mike either. You know what they say “happy wife, happy life.” So I decided to be content, at peace even in the traffic and even with grumpy-pants sitting next to me, and decided to let Mike be in his mood–not trying to change it or tell him why it was silly. That’s like a double early Christmas present if you ask me.

 

 

hello 2013

Posted on by jplatt27

The past two days have been just what we needed. After 9 jam packed days in PA, we needed these two days to decompress and do our own thing.

Both days consisted of breakfast out, shopping, relaxing, napping, straightening our apartment, and more relaxing.  We had nothing to do and no schedule, just kind of did what we felt like when we felt like it.

Though not nearly as intense as last year we continued some beginning of the year rituals–we did a little organizing and purging and had a mini-budget conversation.

We capped off our break and began the new year with one of our favorite meals. (This is tonight’s dinner–last night we ordered Chinese.)

I’m looking forward 2013 and all the new year brings. Cheers!

Talk to me:

How did you start your year?

back from a long holiday

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It’s been over a month since I wrote!  December was a doozy for some reason–just lots going on and since I haven’t been doing a great job of managing my SAD, my energy for anything that wasn’t completely necessary was pretty much nil.

But, I’m back from 9 days in PA and this break has brought my writing brain back.

I guess I’ll start where I left off: Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving was great this year.  We changed things up slightly and it worked out perfectly.  We relaxed through lunch with Mike’s family, not looking at our watches with one foot out the door the entire time. Then, I took a nap for an hour or so.  As soon as I woke up I was ready to go to my Dad’s to see my family! We got there around 6:30 and ended up staying ’til 11:00! Because I wasn’t tired and itching to go to bed the whole time, I was fully present and really relaxed into the evening.

I’m into this casual, come and go when you feel like it thing.  It’s much more my speed.  Though we still went through all of the same activities we have for years, the mind-set was different. And that changed everything.

I’m glad to be back.  Looking forward to catching up with you all much more frequently in 2013.

Love, love, love!

Thanksgiving: out with the old, in with the new

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We’re doing something new this Thanksgiving! Can you tell I’m excited??

Since our parents live 10 mins apart, Mike and I have done a double thanksgiving for the last few years, eating at his parents’ at 1 and my dad’s at 4 or 5. Yeah, it’s a lot.

I had complained in years past how it’s a lot of food and my stomach hurts just thinking about it. Which remains true. But last year I realized how lucky we are that we don’t have to choose. That we are able to see both families at the holidays.

None of the above has changed. My stomach still hurts thinking about a double Thanksgiving and we are still lucky that we don’t have to choose and can see both families at the holidays.

But Thanksgiving shouldn’t be about portion control or keeping your eye on the clock. Thanksgiving is about sharing a delicious meal and quality time with people you love.  And we don’t have to see both families or eat two meals on Thanksgiving to honor this holiday.

Here’s what I want to do on Thanksgiving: eat and drink to my heart’s delight, move to the couch for the infamous turkey nap, and wake up to have more pie.

So the double Thanksgiving ends this year.

I decided we will eat at Mike’s parents’ house and take our time. Maybe we’ll make our way over to my dad’s or my mom’s later in the evening–maybe we won’t.  Regardless, we’ll make sure we spend time with everyone we love over this nice long weekend.

marriage myth buster

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I’m reading The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and I can already tell this is going to be a great read.

In the first chapter he explores myths about marriage.  I’m happy to share that I am a real life example of a myth buster.

Here’s the myth:

Neuroses or personality problems ruin marriages. p. 13

I’m not sure exactly how much of my crazy has come through on the blog but I can be a little nuts and sometimes a lot to handle.  Luckily, this isn’t keeping me from having a happy and healthy relationship.  And Gottman agrees that a little crazy doesn’t have to ruin a marriage or prevent you from having one.

“The point is that neuroses don’t have to ruin a marriage. What matters is how you deal with them. If you can accommodate each other’s strange side and handle it with caring, affection, and respect, your marriage can thrive.”  –p. 14

When I read that in line to vote yesterday, I was like “yes! so true!” and showed it to Mike.

Talk to me:

How does your significant other handle your crazy? Mike handles my crazy with patience and love and by giving me space to feel whatever it is I’m feeling. 

How do you respond to his with caring, affection, and respect? I think I’m a little stumped by my own question, to be honest.  Again, I think it’s through space and listening. 

and it's november

Posted on by jplatt27

Hi friends!

Long time, no talk.  Apparently it’s November.  Wow.  I feel like it was August like 2 weeks ago. Though I think of a lot of things I want to share with you, I just do not have the same energy or attention span this time of year that I do in spring and summer. Sometimes I just want to put my hands up and just say I’m hibernating through winter, see you when it’s sunny, but I do like writing and I figure it’s better to write sporadically than not at all for 5 months.

Here’s what’s been going on…

  • Life is busy and I feel like I’m just plugging along one day at a time but days are passing like three at a time.  I’ve been working hard to manage my energy through this season and I had a good thing going for a while but this week just knocked me out.  Hopefully I can pick it up next week.  With daylight savings on Sunday, I think I’ll be much better at least through Thanksgiving so I may have to try too too hard.
  • Mike was away for two weekends in October and I felt kind of guilty but I really enjoyed the weekends to myself.
  • I had my second coach training module last weekend. Wow. A lot of realizations, a lot to process. Lots of coaching skills to practice. And now back to complete sentences… I am so lucky to be doing my coach training through the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching. The trainers and the other women in my cohort are amazing. The curriculum is transformational and fascinating. I am so excited to be starting a new career in coaching.  I originally wanted to be a teacher because I wanted to help people.  I’ve finally found the way I can and want to make a difference.
  • WE BOUGHT A CAR! Though this was one of our financial goals, this whole thing came up very quickly.  Like 10 days between when we started looking and when we bought.  Much more on this later.

This weekend we’re taking it easy. Mike has a fractured rib–ice hockey really welcomed him back–so we’re not doing too much.  Tomorrow we’re going to take a nice long drive in our new car to Magnolia’s at the Mill. Hopefully we’ll see some nice fall leaves on our drive.

I’ll be keeping myself busy with the following: writing and launching my business website, my first vision board party for potential clients on Sunday, and I ordered 4 books that came today. It’s going to be a good weekend!

Talk to you soon!

Question for you:

Naming cars–yes or no?  I say yes! My first car was Geoffrey, yes with a G. He was a junker but boy did I love him.  My next car was Chloe but that name never really caught on.  I’m ready to name our new car–I’m thinking Stella, Zoe, or Rhae–but Mike’s not feeling it. 

 

call me, maybe?

Posted on by jplatt27

I had a great idea this weekend!

I love chatting with girlfriends about married life and relationships.  I love hearing what works for other couples and sharing what works for Mike and me. So I thought, why not create an opportunity for women to come together and chat about life as a wife?

If there is enough interest (I think 8-10 women would be perfect) I’ll organize and facilitate a group call where we can talk about everything and anything relationship.

If you’re interested, fill out this survey and let me know what you’d like to discuss, what you’d like the format to be, etc.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/LPTDJZK

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Lots of love,

Joanna