Category: Uncategorized

Not a doormat: a lesson from the security guard

Posted on by jplatt27

I think I’ve got a package downstairs.

I don’t know if I’ve got a package downstairs because the security guard won’t tell me (and because I accidentally typed @gmail.con instead of @gmail.com so I can’t track my package but that’s neither here nor there).

The security guard won’t tell me if I have a package downstairs.

Is there a package for 604? I ask.

From today?

Yes. 

I don’t know, I’m still in the middle of it.

Well, can you tell me while I’m standing here?

No, because I’m in the middle of it and I’d have to put all of the packages before yours. 

{blank look at this point? I’m not sure how I respond exactly.}

You can come back in 20 minutes and I’ll be done then and I’ll know.

{Now I know that I’ve got a blank look on my face – the one that my mom would call “that dumb look” – which is like a jaw-dropped look that says “huh? I’m not sure I can comprehend what you’re saying” as I look at the clock on the wall and wonder will I be free in 20 minutes? and is there another way I can respond here?}

And while I’m both super annoyed, and kind of flabberghasted, I’ve got to respect this man.

Because he can do something that I can’t am not great at.

Say no.

Without apology.

Set boundaries.

Clearly.

And without giving two craps about what I think about him.

Wow. How can I do that?

How can I take a page out of this guy’s book and set limits and procedures and stick with them regardless of what other people think?

How can I stand my ground like that?

Wow.

I’m not sure at this point. I’m really not. But at least this gives me a model to work with. An example I can think of whenever someone asks me to do something. Even if I don’t act on it right now, I can start by thinking “how can I apply what he said, and how clearly and with authority he said it? what would that look like in this situation?” That would be a good start I think.

Talk about the opposite of a doormat. My goodness.

Question:

Who’s modeled something for you recently? What did you learn?

motherhood, someday

Posted on by jplatt27

I’m going to throw myself into motherhood someday. I’m going to read all the books, cut all of the orange slices, kiss all the boo-boos. Someday.

But not for a little while.

It’s a big deal for me to say this. Feels like a huge admission. This is one of my biggest “shoulds.”

I always thought I’d have a baby around 27. We’ve been married for three years — shouldn’t we want to have a baby?

Until last week* I hadn’t admitted, hadn’t realized, that I don’t want a baby right now. Mike has said “a few years” to the baby question for a while now and so I just said “we’re not having a baby because Mike doesn’t want to have a baby.”

But the truth is it’s not what I want right now. And that’s ok.

It’s ok…that we said we’d have a baby by 30 and now we probably won’t.

It’s ok…that I’d like to be debt free before we start a family. (That may or may not happen.)

It’s ok…that I want to enjoy experiencing my best self for a while.

It’s ok…that I want to indulge in just the two of us for a while longer.

It’s ok. All of it is ok.

 

*I wrote this post in my journal last spring…but just got the guts now to publish it.

What I learned from a headache

Posted on by jplatt27

A couple weeks ago, I was in a funk. For three days, I woke up tired and throughout the day had no motivation. “I don’t feel like doing anything” kept running through my head. And each afternoon, I got a headache. On my way to CVS to get some Advil, I thought “I just want to take a nap right now. I want to go home and go to bed.” And then I thought “I’m just going to empower myself to do that. I’m going to use some sick time and go home and rest. My body obviously needs that.”

I got home and climbed into bed for a nap. I thought about turning on the TV while I fell asleep but something told me not to. That I didn’t need the mental clutter and noise. That I just needed to be.

Within two minutes of my head hitting the pillow, I had a realization. There was something at work that was really frustrating me. It had been bothering me since earlier in the week but I didn’t know that consciously. It wasn’t until I started telling Mike about it that I realized how much this was affecting me — and my performance. The next day, I woke up like my usual self, energetic and ready to take on the day. And I had a conversation with my boss about what was bothering me and I felt so much better.

I share this story for two reasons:

1. You’ve got to listen to your body. You are the only one that can feel your body and hear your intuition. It’s up to you act on those messages. You can discern when it’s a “take-some-Advil-and-go-through-your day” kind of thing or  it’s a “stop, listen, or this will just continue” kind of thing. But only you can discern that. So you’ve got to listen and you’ve got to act. Which brings me to my next point…

2. Sometimes you’ve got to empower yourself and give yourself what you need.  Your boss isn’t going to say “I can tell your head hurts and that you’re in a funk” go home and take a nap. No. You need to decide that for yourself and give yourself permission to do what you need to do.

If I wouldn’t have taken that three hours off, I could’ve been stuck in that negative energy (and the corresponding physical symptoms) for a while — impacting both myself, my team, and my work.

Something I love to do

Posted on by jplatt27

I love taking myself on lunch dates. Especially during the work day. Sit down. Relax. Read a book or blogs on my phone. Look around. Write. Think. Just be. Peaceful. Away from the computer.

Lunch date

A couple months ago when I first started my new job*, I went to a small Italian pizza place down the street from my office. I could’ve gotten it to go but decided to sit for a while and enjoy the time out of the office. I ordered an eggplant parm panini and while I waited for it to arrive I jotted down some ideas in a notebook, read blogs on my phone, and just looked around. It was so relaxing. I’ve been thinking about that sandwich ever since. It probably wasn’t anything to write home about but the experience of just taking a nice break to decompress and regroup made it feel so luxurious and special.

I’m not one that has super strong beliefs or opinions on things but if there’s one thing I really believe in, it’s lunch. And taking a real legitimate break to enjoy it.

 

 

*I started a new job in November. Still in university fundraising in DC but managing a small team. It’s going really really well!
**Pictured above: lunch from my most recent date with myself at a bakery near my office. A few “salads” and a butternut squash soup.

Look me in the eye

Posted on by jplatt27

I’ve started to get gray hair.

Probably a year, year and a half ago at least, they started to grow in on the right side of my head in one clump. There were a bunch but they weren’t really visible because of the way I part my hair.

But in the last two months a couple have started to grow in the top layer. On little scraggly one right in the front of my hair that you just can’t miss if I have my hair up – which when I’m home is like 100% of the time.

I’ve noticed that every time I look in the mirror I look at the grays. Are they getting longer? Are there more??

But I’ve decided I’m not going to do that anymore.

What kind of message do you send to yourself if you focus immediately and intently on your gray hairs or any other part of your body that you find questionable?

Instead, I’m going to look myself in the eye.

When I look myself in the eye, I see my beauty. When I look myself in the eye, I see my heart. And all of the love that resides there shines out. 

And that’s what I want to see when I look in the mirror. I want to see me. And so the eyes are the place to look.

And, just like when I look at someone else in the eye, when I look myself in the eye, I can’t help but smile.

 

The next time you look in the mirror, notice where your eyes go. Then, look yourself in the eye.

It will probably feel a little awkward at first. Because it’s like looking at someone who really, truly loves you. It can be super vulnerable. So it’s ok if it’s only for a fleeting moment at first. Look anyway. And then, next time, look a little longer. And then, a little longer still. Share a moment with your love-ly self.

 

Love always,
Jo

a milestone

Posted on by jplatt27

In a few minutes, I’ll lead my first coaching group call. I feel like I’m on the edge of something really big. Something that marks the beginning of something really great and new. The realization of a dream I’ve been working toward for 2 years. I want to take a minute to take it all in. I want to acknowledge all of the love that has gotten me to this point.

It started with my friends not laughing when I timidly tested the waters of this crazy thing by saying “I think I want to be a coach” before I really even knew what coaching was.

My family and Mike’s family not really knowing what coaching was or how the heck it’d ever pay my bills but going along with it anyway.

It was colleagues at my full-time job checking in to see how things were going and asking me to bring my skills to our full-time work.

My husband who has supported this big crazy dream emotionally and financially through the intense highs and lows, times of self-confidence and extreme bouts of self-doubt.

The coaches in my cohort that acknowledged my wide range of emotions as a gift for the first time, and lauded me for it.

The teachers that encouraged me to tap into my intuition and empathy–one of the biggest strengths I bring to my coaching practice.

Friends, coworkers, and strangers that let me practice on them.

My first clients that trusted me to help them believe in themselves.

It was big things like these words from my mom when I started doubting and questioning that this whole dream would even work: “Oh, it will work. Coaching works. You’re different now because of it.”

But it was smaller things too. Like Facebook likes. Or someone saying “that’s great!” when I shared literally the smallest possible advancement in this.

I can’t tell you how all of these doses of encouragement impacted me.

Thank you, all of you.

self care, shoulds, and dreams: an interview with Colleen from the Lunchbox Diaries

Posted on by jplatt27

I am so excited for today’s post. I’ve been participating in a 21-day blogging challenge with Flourish Online and one of the exercises was writing interview questions and sending them to someone you’d love to interview.

When I thought about what I’m about and some topics I’ve been thinking about lately and someone that’s got a great point of view on these topics, Colleen from The Lunchbox Diaries came to mind.

Colleen’s a girl that keeps it real and has a great message to share. She writes about body-image in a way that’s relatable, relationships in a way that make you want to reach out to your own friends and family and give them a hug, and perhaps what I love/admire the most is how she infuses humor into all of it.

Take it away, Colleen!

1. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? How does that fit with what you’re doing for work now?

Growing up, I always knew I wanted to help others. When I was very young, I thought that meant being a teacher, but I quickly learned that being in the classroom wasn’t for me. God bless teachers and the patience they have! Before middle school, my sights became focused on becoming a counselor. Studying people and their behaviors has always been of utmost interest to me, and it’s something I’ve always been pretty good at! It fits in with my line of work, as I’m an Employee Assistance Professional. I love the ability of working with personalities and conflict in the workplace. I find a great deal of purpose and enjoyment from helping others learn how to lead better, more productive, fulfilling lives.

2. What does self-care mean to you? How do you practice it?

Self-care means giving myself a break and “turning-off” so to speak. It means disconnecting my electronics and connecting with the important people in my life. I am lucky to be surrounded by a group that is hilarious, genuine, and loyal. I make sure to have “technology free” dates with my husband once a week, and I try my best to get together with my girlfriends at least once a week. I also do my best to schedule a “nothing weekend” with my husband once a month, and that means: no plans, no travel, no setting alarms, etc.

3. What are your biggest “shoulds”?

I am constantly “shoulding all over myself.” It’s terrible! I SHOULD go to the gym. I SHOULD accept that social invitation [that sounds totally draining.] I SHOULD take on more “extracurricular activities.” I SHOULD write more blog posts each week. I SHOULD say yes. Oh my gosh, the list really does go on and on. Thankfully, I’m aware of my should problem, and it’s something I’m activity working on correcting!

4. Do you have a tribe? How do you stay connected to them?

Oh, absolutely. I would be nothing without my tribe. My husband, my family, and my several dear friends are the people I am lucky enough to call my tribe. I stay connected to them by making time for them; that sounds silly, but it actually takes effort to make time for people, you know? It’s so easy to get in the work, sleep, eat, repeat routine and not make time for people. Whether it’s making a date out of grocery shopping with my husband, or having happy hour with my girlfriends, or facetiming with my brother – it’s just about being intentional with my time and energy.

5. What’s a piece of advice you’ve been given that’s stuck with you?

I was introduced to the Judy Gardland quote, “It’s better to be a first rate version of yourself, rather than a second rate version of someone else” when I was in high school, and that has resonated with me ever since. What I tend to forget is that I am the best Colleen Nichols out there. I cheat myself when I try to be someone else, or compare someone else’s highlight reel to my behind the scenes footage. It’s human nature to want to compare ourselves to others, but being a first rate version of myself has been a piece of advice that’s always done me well.

6. What’s on your inspiration list?

Oh, I’m inspired daily, so my list is a mile long! At the top are my mom and my husband. My mom is selfless and strong and has the greatest work ethic of anyone I’ve ever known. My husband is also my daily inspiration. He’s truly the most amazing person I know; he’s wicked smart, outrageously talented, and he makes me belly-laugh every day.

7. Do you have a big-crazy dream? What is it?

I do, and I’m just starting to actually voice it to other people, which is scary and exciting all at the same time. My big-crazy dream is to one day be my own boss and make a living off of writing and coaching others. I love my job, but writing and empowering others are my two real passions in life. Man, being able to do that on my own, well that would be a big-crazy dream come true.

Thanks again, Colleen! Show Colleen some love on her blog, Facebook page, or Twitter.

P.S. What is self-care anyway?

what is self care anyway?

Posted on by jplatt27

flowers journal

I’m a huge advocate for showing up as your authentic self and pursuing your dreams big and small. A key ingredient for that is self care. But what does self care even mean?

Self care is going to vary from person to person. There is no one-size fits all self care practice.

To figure out what self care means for you, ask yourself this:

What do you need to maintain a relationship with yourself?

This can be quiet time at least once a week,
Time to dance,
Painting your nails,
Saying no to things you don’t want to do,
A morning run,
Speaking your mind,
Cuddling up with a good book,
A warm bath,
Journaling,
etc.

Please note: Self care is not a luxury. Self care is a necessity.

So tell me in the comments, what does self-care look like for you? What do you need to maintain a relationship with yourself?

P.S. My inspiration list.

10 things about me

Posted on by jplatt27

Here are ten things you may not know about me. Enjoy 🙂

 1. I think that being bold and taking risks can come from some seemingly small actions. I love to encourage the people around me to take those steps and then help them recognize and celebrate when they do.

2. Though I live in a big city, sometimes I feel really lonely and disconnected from the people that really matter to me.

3. I thought I’d be a teacher for my whole life. Though I’m not in a traditional classroom, I’m still very much a teacher.

4. Writing for me is all about being connected to myself. If I’m not connected with myself I have a hard time writing. I go through weeks where I really don’t write at all. And I’m kind of OK with that.

5. When I learned that my words had power — actually through my full time job very recently — that was a huge deal. One I want other people to know too. My words, your words, have power. Your life has power. You inspire people without even knowing it.

6. I always imagined being a writer and wanted to write a newspaper only about all the good in the world. I’d write this newspaper or book while sitting in a cafe watching the kindness of strangers.

7. Sometimes Mike and I dance in the kitchen while we cook dinner. The love and joy that fills heart in those moments scares the crap out of me.

8. I really love to cook. And I really love to feed people. When I was younger I thought it would be really fun to open a bed and breakfast.

9. I’ve always been an independent person but I’m just now learning about self care and how important it is to take good care of yourself. I’m exploring what my self care practices are going to be and after that will focus on establishing a good rhythm and routine with them.

10. My vision for my coaching clients isn’t that they become the best version of themselves, it’s that they become a more authentic version of themselves.

step away from the problem

Posted on by jplatt27

Sometimes you don’t need to work to figure it out.

The amazing thing about the human brain is that it doesn’t need to be consciously thinking about things to be working on solutions.

I was a math major in college. We frequently had take home exams — some proofs couldn’t be completed in a 1 hour time window. I worked on this one proof for hours and just wasn’t getting anywhere. No kidding, I woke up at 4am knowing the answer. I scribbled down the proof and went back to sleep. When I got the test back, it was right!

I’ll sit in front of a blank screen at work trying to write a letter. The second I get to the bus stop at the end of the day, the words come pouring out. Luckily I carry a notebook with me everywhere and jot down a full letter while it’s fresh in my mind. And usually it’s pretty much good to go after that.

Moral of the story — stop worrying and focusing so much on the problem at hand. I’m sure you’ve churned this over in your brain enough already. Have faith that your brain is working on it and go do something else. The answer will come soon enough.

Has this ever happened to you?

Where could you benefit from a mental break and letting it work itself out?