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Love Languages

Posted on by jplatt27

a friend had mentioned the 5 love languages when telling a story about her mom’s disappointment when my friend didn’t send a birthday gift, only a card.  she explained that there are five different ways a person can give and receive love and that for her mom, gifts are important.  i was intrigued and put it on my list of things to look into.  then, i was reading peanut butter fingers and she had a post about the love languages!  julie linked to the love languages website and i was thrilled to find an online quiz to discover your love language. naturally, i took it immediately.  afterward, mike took it too. (thanks, mike!)  our results are below.

jo’s love languages                                                       mike’s love languages

words of affirmation: 8                                               words of affirmation: 9

quality time: 9                                                                quality time: 6

receiving gifts: 1                                                            receiving gifts: 2

acts of service: 2                                                            acts of service: 4

physical touch: 10                                                        physical touch: 9

i’m honestly not surprised by the results and think they’re pretty spot on.  i definitely show love through physical touch: a light touch on shoulder or back for support, hugs, resting my head on someone’s shoulder. i find myself wanting to be physically close to people.  and i receive love in the same way. of course i like gifts and when people do things for me (acts of service) but i feel closest to others when we spend quality time together.

i was a little surprised to see that physical touch came out at the top of mike’s list though i guess i shouldn’t be suprised. we are very affectionate with each other, we hug a LOT, hold hands, put our hands on each other’s backs, we just touch a lot.  but i don’t think of him expressing love to friends and family through physical touch.

given that we both give and receive love through physical touch, if we’re irritated with one another or have a fight, we can provide reassurance to one another, lessen tension, and reconnect by holding hands or giving a hug.

another take away for me is that i should express my confidence in mike and compliment him more.  i think good things about him all the time and share my admiration with others, but i should share those thoughts with him.  i’m pretty good at doing things for him–making his lunch, finding networking connections, handling chores when they stress him out–but he’d probably feel more loved if i told him that i was proud of him, told him he’s a good husband, complimented his knowledge of current events and sports, or let him know i admire his calm, cool manner.

what’s your love language?  take the quiz and share your results in the comments section.  do you think your love language is accurate?  how do you see your love languages playing out in your relationships both romantic and otherwise? what do you take away from the results?

in my thoughts: home of the brave

Posted on by jplatt27

at the nationals game on friday, i almost started crying during the national anthem.  i’m not sure where the emotion came from, maybe 9/11 is on my mind more than i had thought.  then as we were leaving our seats to get a snack, there was a tribute to the service men and women in the stadium and they played “proud to be an american.”  tears welled up in my eyes as i stopped to applaud in support.

every day i admire members of our armed services, their strength and sacrifice and those of the families that support their efforts. i am grateful for their courage and for their commitment to our country. today, i’m sending thoughts of love, strength, support, and peace to everyone that lost a loved one on 9/11 or as a result of 9/11.

 

i should be but i'm not

Posted on by jplatt27

lately i’ve noticed there a couple things that many people enjoy that i just don’t really care about.  i understand why others like these things and so i feel like i should too but i’m just not there.

things i feel like i should be but i’m just not:

  • a dog person–mike absolutely loves dogs.  and a lot of people i know really really love dogs.  there are some people that want to run up and pet every dog that walks by them.  that’s not me.  yes, i think dogs are cute and there are some that are especially cute (see Jessica’s blog) but they are also kind of dirty and germy.  i don’t really want to cuddle up with one. i’m sure mike and i will get a dog some day (when we have a yard for it) and i will love it and there will be ground rules.  i know that dogs are a man’s best friend, and they are fun to play with, and good to cuddle up with on a rainy day, but i’m not a huge dog person.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • a movie person–i’ve never been a movie person.  maybe because growing up my house was so loud that it was impossible to sit through a movie, maybe because my attention span is 45 mins. i pretty much fall asleep within 25 mins of watching a movie so our barometer for how good a movie is whether i can stay awake or not.  mike and his brother could have an entire conversation in movie quotes which to their credit is pretty wild and cool but is also extremely irritating. i do not have this skill.  there are movies that i may or may not have seen all the way through and i just can’t remember.  like dirty dancing.  i’ve definitely seen the end and a decent part of the middle so i feel there’s a good chance that i’ve seen the whole thing but who knows?  and i feel like i should like movies because a lot of my friends love movies and have seen a million movies and there are many cultural references/jokes that i’m missing out on because i haven’t seen certain movies.  just today my co-workers were joking that a webinar we were listening to was like “best in show.” i’m working on this one and getting much better. i know that movies can provide an escape, can be an emotional outlet, and are just good entertainment, but for now i’m just not a movie person.
talk to me.  are there things you feel you should be but that you’re just not?

work talk wednesday: back from vacation

Posted on by jplatt27

today i’m starting a new weekly “column:” work talk wednesday.  each wednesday, i’ll write about an aspect of work from work-life balance, managing up, and interviewing skills to dream jobs, productivity, and office perks. today’s topic is being back at work after vacation.

this topic came to mind after a long weekend at the beach.  as we said goodbye to mike’s family and drove away from the beach, i felt sad and nostalgic.  i wish we had one more day at the beach, one more day of sun and relaxation. i also felt a little bit anxious about getting back into my normal routine.

going back to work after a vacation, even a short one, is not fun.  there are lots of things to catch up on, tons of emails to read, and you have to remind yourself of where you left off before you set your out-of-office reply.  it’s also difficult to be back at a desk in a chilly, beige office in front of a computer all day when you just spent days laying on the beach in the warm sun and a cool breeze with a juicy novel or your favorite magazine in your lap. so how do we make the best out of the first few days after a vacation?  how can we make “back to the grind” a little more tolerable?

one thing that i have going for me is that i have a wonderful team at work and i always look forward to catching up with my coworkers upon my return. we’ll spend some time chatting about the trip or long weekend as our computers boot up (and sometimes a little beyond that).

here are some other ideas to make the transition from vacation to normal life a little bit more enjoyable:

  • treat yourself to coffee on your way to the office
  • plan to grab lunch from your favorite sandwich shop near your job
  • send an email to your travel buddy with your favorite moments from the trip
  • post pictures from your getaway on facebook or share them with friends and family
  • make fun plans for the following weekend so that you have something to look forward to
  • go shopping while you’re on vacation and wear a new outfit on your first day back
what’s one thing you have going for you when you return to work? what do you do to get through the first few days back at the office?
are there any topics you’re particularly interested in seeing in work talk wednesday?

how do you cook?

Posted on by jplatt27

i have a theory: the way you cook parallels the way you live your life.

for example: mike and i always follow recipes.  in life, we play by the rules.  we’re not big risk-takers.

mike likes to get everything prepped and ready to go before he begins cooking.  he cleans up as he goes and likes to do the dishes as soon as the meal is finished.  in life, mike likes to explore all the options before he begins. he makes sure that everything is set before he makes a big decision. in school he would work on papers little by little, never waiting to the last minute or pulling an all-nighter.

when i cook, things tend to get a little messy as i jump right in and figure it out as i go.  lately, i’ve been much better about reading through the recipe and collecting the ingredients up front but my natural way is to do everything as i go.  in life, i have a general plan or place i’m working toward but i tend to have a lot of things going at once and i figure it out as i go. when it comes to cleaning up after a meal, i like to relax for a bit after the meal and take a break before i tackle the dishes.  in life, i’ll have an experience and need some time before i’m able to process it and move past it.

so what do you think?  how do you cook?  does the way you cook parallel your life?

chase your green balloon

Posted on by jplatt27

we were on the boardwalk and a little girl was sitting two benches down from us with admiring a new hermit crab and holding onto a green balloon.  it’s pretty windy here today and the balloon got caught in the wind and started bouncing down the boardwalk.  did the little girl cry?  nope.  she said “let’s get it” and started running after it with a big smile on her face.  she and her uncle finally caught up to it and she walked back our way with her arms around the balloon and a huge smile on her face.  they walk past us on their way to do whatever it is they were going to do next.  two or three minutes later, we see a green balloon bouncing by again, it brushes mike’s leg as it bounces under the bench we’re sitting on and a pinkish red one follows.  and here comes the uncle chasing after it again, the little girl following quickly behind, still with a big smile on her face.  and i thought, this is a great metaphor for life.  if your green balloon starts to blow or bounce away, just run after it with a big smile on your face. you’ll get it.

hello september

Posted on by jplatt27

september still reminds me of school days.  of waiting for the bus on a chilly morning, football games on brisk nights, after-school snacks, new teachers and classes, and the excitement of a new year.  i’m hoping to take those feelings into this month as i look to my september goals.

marriage

  • go on two dates (i think this may be a monthly goal.)
money
  • keep detailed record of my spending
career/education
  • start prep for GRE/GMAT by looking up words in my list of words i don’t know
blog
  • write and publish things after the rings about page
miscellaneous these are more to-do’s than goals but whatev.
  • choose photos for wedding album and place order
  • post favorite wedding photos on facebook
  • go shopping three times  (i’m going to be screwed when fall comes and i have two pairs of pants.  this is to support a larger goal of developing a wardrobe.)

___________________________________________________

  • what memories or feelings does september bring to you?
  • what are your goals for september?

snack love

Posted on by jplatt27

in addition to the standard three meals a day, i also have two snacks every day.  i love my 10:00 snack and my 3:00 snack. since the abs diet i try to make sure my snacks have either protein or fiber to fill me up.

my go-to snack right now is chocolate pudding with a tablespoon of chunky peanut butter.  sweet, savory, and the peanut butter gives the protein that i need.  yum!

i’m always looking for new snack ideas. what are your go-to snacks?

 

later today: my september goals!

how to get somewhere

Posted on by jplatt27

great quote from my yoga class on a few weeks ago:

“sometimes the best way to get somewhere is to let go of trying to get anywhere at all.”

i think i can apply this message to some aspects of my life right now.

what about you?  are there areas of your life where you should just be?

the tennis lesson

Posted on by jplatt27

remember when i found a new tennis court for mike and i to play? since then he’s been wanting to play regularly.  we played one night last week and afterward i suggested a couples tennis lesson as something new and fun for us to do.  mike looked into some lessons but didn’t find much.  then saturday morning he told me he had a proposition for me: “i was thinking that i’m pretty good at tennis and could give you some lessons, some pointers. what do you think?”

so saturday night about 6 o’clock we head out to the court. (when i asked mike what he wanted to do on our first free saturday night in a while he responded “tennis/frisbee?”  yes!  that’s exactly what i was thinking for a nice saturday night together.  who wants to go to a nice dinner and a movie? but, i digress). when we get to the court i ask mike if this is my first lesson.  he shrugs and says “if you want.”  i say “sure.” “ok, three things. first, follow through with your racket. the ball will go in the direction of your racket. turn your wrist to put a little top spin on the ball, you know what i mean?”  i nod and smile “mmm hmm, yep i know what you mean.” (i had no idea what he meant.) “and last thing, always come back to the center of the court.” and with those words of wisdom, we took the court.

this was not the type of lesson you see in movies where the guy leans over the girl leaning over the pool table showing her just how to hold the cue and the sexual tension builds between them. no, i stood across the net from my husband, wearing my prescription sunglasses so that i could see his face and the ball clearly from across the court, both of us hitting many a ball right into the net instead of over the net.  as i walk to chase stray balls my roomy, almost to my knees nylon gym shorts ride up between my thighs forming what looks like two curtains and i can feel my lunch in my belly. as i bend down to pick up the ball, my sunglasses slide down my oily face hitting a a newly formed pimple on the side of my nose.  yep, i’m lookin’ good all right.  and i’m definitely feeling hot.

i’m physically and mentally steaming.  it’s about 87 degrees (though mike insists it’s not warmer than 80) and it’s summer in DC so the humidity is high. i really don’t want to be here and to be honest i’m getting kind of mad at my “coach” because he’s not performing much better than me.

after about 10-15 minutes mike says “you don’t look like you’re having very much fun over there” to which i respond “i’m not having very much fun over here” and he laughed.  we both laughed.  it lessened the tension significantly and we picked up our game a little bit.  i told him i thought he wasn’t playing great and that i wanted to move around a bit more.  he thought we were warming up and practicing a bit. i said i was hot and that i think there are certain months of the year that i’ll play: march-may and september-november (when the weather is right.) honestly i think i was just in a mood.

for my next lesson, i will make sure that three things are in place: i’m in a good mood, in a cute outfit, and that the weather is just right.