Tag: love

Look me in the eye

Posted on by jplatt27

I’ve started to get gray hair.

Probably a year, year and a half ago at least, they started to grow in on the right side of my head in one clump. There were a bunch but they weren’t really visible because of the way I part my hair.

But in the last two months a couple have started to grow in the top layer. On little scraggly one right in the front of my hair that you just can’t miss if I have my hair up – which when I’m home is like 100% of the time.

I’ve noticed that every time I look in the mirror I look at the grays. Are they getting longer? Are there more??

But I’ve decided I’m not going to do that anymore.

What kind of message do you send to yourself if you focus immediately and intently on your gray hairs or any other part of your body that you find questionable?

Instead, I’m going to look myself in the eye.

When I look myself in the eye, I see my beauty. When I look myself in the eye, I see my heart. And all of the love that resides there shines out. 

And that’s what I want to see when I look in the mirror. I want to see me. And so the eyes are the place to look.

And, just like when I look at someone else in the eye, when I look myself in the eye, I can’t help but smile.

 

The next time you look in the mirror, notice where your eyes go. Then, look yourself in the eye.

It will probably feel a little awkward at first. Because it’s like looking at someone who really, truly loves you. It can be super vulnerable. So it’s ok if it’s only for a fleeting moment at first. Look anyway. And then, next time, look a little longer. And then, a little longer still. Share a moment with your love-ly self.

 

Love always,
Jo

a milestone

Posted on by jplatt27

In a few minutes, I’ll lead my first coaching group call. I feel like I’m on the edge of something really big. Something that marks the beginning of something really great and new. The realization of a dream I’ve been working toward for 2 years. I want to take a minute to take it all in. I want to acknowledge all of the love that has gotten me to this point.

It started with my friends not laughing when I timidly tested the waters of this crazy thing by saying “I think I want to be a coach” before I really even knew what coaching was.

My family and Mike’s family not really knowing what coaching was or how the heck it’d ever pay my bills but going along with it anyway.

It was colleagues at my full-time job checking in to see how things were going and asking me to bring my skills to our full-time work.

My husband who has supported this big crazy dream emotionally and financially through the intense highs and lows, times of self-confidence and extreme bouts of self-doubt.

The coaches in my cohort that acknowledged my wide range of emotions as a gift for the first time, and lauded me for it.

The teachers that encouraged me to tap into my intuition and empathy–one of the biggest strengths I bring to my coaching practice.

Friends, coworkers, and strangers that let me practice on them.

My first clients that trusted me to help them believe in themselves.

It was big things like these words from my mom when I started doubting and questioning that this whole dream would even work: “Oh, it will work. Coaching works. You’re different now because of it.”

But it was smaller things too. Like Facebook likes. Or someone saying “that’s great!” when I shared literally the smallest possible advancement in this.

I can’t tell you how all of these doses of encouragement impacted me.

Thank you, all of you.

it’s ok to want what you want

Posted on by jplatt27

Deep down you know what you want.

It’s OK to want that.

In fact, it’s more than ok. It’s amazing. It’s necessary. There will be less tension and stress in the world if you do.

Give yourself permission to want that.

When you want what you want and own it, you give the universe permission to bring it to you. And when you get it, everybody wins. Because you’ll add a little more joy to the world.

Can you imagine if we all did that? If we all gave ourselves permission to want what we want? That little bit of peace from each of us would change the world.

what else will i find?

Posted on by jplatt27

The other day I was talking to a friend and she shared a concern about her relationship. “We’ve been dating this long and I’m still finding things that bother me. It makes me wonder, what else will I find?? Will I continue to find things that bug me?”

The short answer is yes.

Yes, you will find more things that bother you. Because we’re human and always changing, it’s very likely that he will develop some new habits. It’s also likely that you may become irritated by some things that never bothered you before.

Like the ice-chewing. He’s probably been doing that for years. But one day, you’ll hear it for the first time. And you’ll think it’s annoying.

But you’ll also find more things that you love, more things that are endearing.

Like the toilet paper. And how he’s really good about noticing when it’s getting low and putting a new roll on the back of the toilet so you’re not stuck. That’s a pretty great small thing. And it speaks to something about his character that you really really love.

And you’ve got to set yourself up to look for that instead. You’ve got to decide that the little annoying things say nothing about his character and who he is as a person. And that the endearing things have everything to do with it.

to have and to hold

Posted on by jplatt27
I’m on an airplane, heading to Iowa for a friend’s wedding. There’s a little boy in front of me, maybe three years old. He’s wearing footie pajamas and it’s clear he’s getting a little restless. It’s almost 10pm. Aww, do you want to sit on my lap? I wonder. It’d be so nice to hold a little kid in my arms.

And then this big, emotional thought hits me. Someday, I could have a little boy like that. And not only will he be mine and sweet and cuddly. But he will be Mike’s. The thought of having a little Mike to hold overwhelms me, fills my body with this deep emotion that I’ve never connected before.

I love holding my husband. Cuddling, hugging, holding hands. Being able to hold a smaller human that’s part Mike is almost too much to handle. The joy that will come of that fills my heart so much. I want to wrap my arms around this person and surround them with all the love in my heart the way I want to do/try to do with Mike, their future dad.

It feels like my heart is expanding in my chest to make room for this possibility, this reality. My throat starts to choke up because the depth of this is unspeakable.

When I think about having a baby, I always think about him or her as mine. I think about how Mike will be as a dad. How I’ll fall in love with him all over again when I see him holding our baby. But putting together how that baby will be part of my husband, will be his too, is a thought I’ve never consciously had before.

Tears stream down my face as I think about how special that will be. How amazing. The love I have for my husband and this future little person, little version of him, I’m not sure I’ve ever felt anything like it.

Is this what Mike’s mom feels when she says she’s ready for grandchildren? Is this the feeling she’s looking forward to? If so, no wonder.

I think I’m starting to get it. That though kids come with so much uncertainty, so much risk, so many things you can’t protect them from, they are an expression of love. To create a child in that image, from that space, that place of love, has got to be unlike anything else in the world.

I’m looking forward to experiencing these things some day.

i desire…

Posted on by jplatt27

desire

I’m leading a book group as part of Danielle LaPorte’s World’s Biggest Book Club. At the end of our last meeting we went around and shared, off the cuff, what we desire. (inspired by p. 23)

I desire…

to giggle with my husband at least once a day, to make a ritual of taking our future kids to Barnes and Noble and/or the library regularly to pick out new books together, to write, to have my words inspire and comfort other people, to host a standing Sunday brunch, to have a job that lights me up, to move my body every day in a way that feels right that day, to let go and feel free, to have fresh painted nails more often than not, to get in bed at the end of the day feeling a good kind of tired and already relaxed, to get lost in a good book, to go to happy hour regularly…

That’s all for now.

Wanna play? Share in the comments! It’s fun!

 

my brave husband and the conversation no woman wants to have

Posted on by jplatt27

A Tuesday night cuddling on the couch turned into a conversation no woman wants to have.

Mike: Want to go to the gym with me in the morning?

Me: No. No gym for me.

Mike: Yeah, I noticed you haven’t been to the gym in a while.

From there, he went on to express concern about my sabbatical from the gym and my subsequent weight gain and the impact of both on my health.

I’m speechless. This is a girl’s worst nightmare. I think I almost laugh because I feel so uncomfortable. I don’t know what to say.

Part of me is frustrated. Part of me is just so embarrassed. And I’m like crap, what am I supposed to do with this information?

I don’t want what I do or do not eat* and how often I exercise to be about my husband. I want it to be about me. Decisions I want to make for myself not because I want a pat on the back.

I thanked Mike for saying something. It’s something I’d been feeling myself–that my body wasn’t where I wanted it to be. I’d been feeling fat. Most of my clothes don’t fit. But I’m so focused on my business right now that I put my physical health on the back burner. I was letting myself go a bit. I also acknowledged him for saying something because it takes courage to bring something like this up to your wife.

I was really stunned by the conversation and cried in bed when Mike left the room.

The next morning I felt pretty bad. I wasn’t sure what to do with this conversation. I decided to keep it to myself rather than share it with a friend on gchat or blurt it out to a colleague first thing. I wanted to take this seriously and to give myself time to process. I also didn’t want to fall into negative energy for the whole day.

I ended up telling a friend at happy hour, let myself be vulnerable and cry a little bit, share my embarrassment.

The next morning I decided I’d move more and stop eating when I feel full. I’m not going to go crazy and put pressure on myself to hit the gym every single day or go on an intense diet.

It hurt to hear that from my husband. But I’m so glad he told me. If he didn’t, who would?

I’m grateful he brought it to my attention. Literally just brought it to my attention. Now that I have this awareness, I will be more conscious about my behavior and make different choices. Actually make choices. I had gotten into the trap of not thinking about it at all.

I think what Mike did was really brave. Because that was a hard conversation to have. But he loves me and he cares about me. And I know that. This conversation demonstrates that.

 

P.S. Have you liked Love Always, Jo on Facebook? If, not, go over and click like now!

thoughts from Juliet

Posted on by jplatt27

I was flipping through some old journal notes and came upon this quote  I jotted down from The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. It still resonated with me when I reread it so I thought I’d share it with you.

“I don’t want to be married just to be married. I can’t think of anything lonelier than spending the rest of my life with someone I can’t talk to, or worse, someone I can’t be silent with.” ~Juliet, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, page 8

Two questions:

1) Thoughts on the passage?

2) Have you read this book? I read it around Christmas time and really enjoyed it. It’s told through a series of letters and it’s interesting to see how the plot and characters develop through notes to and from different characters.