under pressure

I designated June as the “Month of Me” and spent the month relaxing, reading, cooking, having fun. I told myself I’d take June to relax and take a break from the go-go-go-go-go schedule that’s dominated my life since before high school and then hit July with gusto and dive head first into my business.

June was so great. I was really enjoying myself. And then July came along.

I’m not kidding, July 1 I started to feel sad. The sadness came up and up, just kind of lingering under the surface. I didn’t know where it was coming from. Things were and are good. But this underlying feeling of sadness was there and kept growing.

When we got back from vacation, the feelings of sadness got more intense and soon turned to overwhelming anxiety.

I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. Then I thought, hmm, this started around July right at the end of the Month of Me, I should start playing more and having more fun. So I did that. It worked a little bit but wasn’t a magic bullet.

This morning it hit me. The Month of Me was great not because of the play and the joy I felt. The reason the Month of Me was so wonderful was because of the lack of pressure.

That’s it. The lack of pressure.

Because I took the pressure off myself and allowed myself to oh, I don’t know, just live my life, I was able to ENJOY my life. To have fun. To do things I like.

I let myself relax in June and then slammed the pressure back on July 1. And it hit me like a ton of bricks.

The pressure I feel is 100% self inflicted. I am my own worst critic and put so much pressure on myself, beat myself up. And that sucks the joy out of things.

Knowing that my joy is tied to the amount of pressure I (and/or Janice) put on myself, I can start to examine the pressure and question it. Acknowledge it, think about it, and then allow myself to let it go and relax and enjoy my life.

Things always get done. Ideas always come. I don’t need to be thinking about my goals and my business success every. single. second. In fact, when I’m enjoying my life and doing things that make me feel like me, I’m more creative and motivated and things get done.

To relaxing and enjoying life! Cheers!

Do you put pressure on yourself? How do you let it go or could you let it go?