The other day I was talking to a friend and she shared a concern about her relationship. “We’ve been dating this long and I’m still finding things that bother me. It makes me wonder, what else will I find?? Will I continue to find things that bug me?”

The short answer is yes.

Yes, you will find more things that bother you. Because we’re human and always changing, it’s very likely that he will develop some new habits. It’s also likely that you may become irritated by some things that never bothered you before.

Like the ice-chewing. He’s probably been doing that for years. But one day, you’ll hear it for the first time. And you’ll think it’s annoying.

But you’ll also find more things that you love, more things that are endearing.

Like the toilet paper. And how he’s really good about noticing when it’s getting low and putting a new roll on the back of the toilet so you’re not stuck. That’s a pretty great small thing. And it speaks to something about his character that you really really love.

And you’ve got to set yourself up to look for that instead. You’ve got to decide that the little annoying things say nothing about his character and who he is as a person. And that the endearing things have everything to do with it.