Category: Home life

relishing time alone

Posted on by jplatt27

Mike went home this weekend for a fantasy football draft. I feel kind of bad saying this but having the apartment to myself the last 24 hours or so was glorious.

After I dropped Mike off at a friend’s apartment, I got a sandwich from Jetty’s and had a quick lunch before prepping for my second vision board party.  I moseyed around the apartment vacuuming, baking, and cleaning while listening to MarieTV.

My guests arrived and we spent almost three hours together.  I’m telling you, the right women always show up to these things.

For some reason I was exhausted when they left so I got into some comfy pants and a sweatshirt and took a two and half hour nap.

I woke up and ate half a leftover sandwich for dinner. I got in bed to read and it was lights out by 9:30.  (Two things here:  I often feel guilty that I go to bed so early especially on weekends.  When I say lights out, I mean the whole apartment was off for the night. No guilt, and complete dark and quiet, yahtzee!)

I slept in the middle of the bed.  With the windows open. (We live on a busy street so it gets kind of loud and Mike probably would’ve been too hot.)

I stayed in bed until about 7:30 this morning.  Got up, made some pancakes and coffee and sat in front of my computer to write a little bit. (This I could do with Mike here but I usually wait for him to get up before deciding on breakfast.  We often go get coffee and bagels at a local coffeeshop/bookstore.)

I did the dishes from breakfast and the ones from the party.  (I like doing the dishes on my own terms.)

I talked on the phone while roaming through the apartment. (Being on the phone is tough in a one bedroom apartment when we’re both here.  I feel confined to one room.)

I went to get a pedicure with Emily.

I didn’t feel like spending money buying lunch so I came home and had some cheese and cinnamon sugar pita chips with a side of strawberries, and now I’m settled at my kitchen table writing.

I hear a little bit of traffic outside, the cars a little louder than usual beause of the rain on the road, the clock ticking and the hum of the refrigerator.  And that’s it.  It’s totally quiet.  The TV isn’t on in here or in the other room.

I’m free to sit in silence or listen to music or watch TV and I don’t have to worry about bothering anyone.

Mike is super laid back and super easy to live with but still, there’s something different about being home alone.  Something so fulfilling about having time to myself with nothing else to do. It’s the freedom to do things on my own time, on my own terms.  It’s peace.

I’m excited to give him a huge hug and kiss when he walks through the door in a little while.  

But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to relish these next few hours of Jo time.  

In fact, mid-way through this post, I put my sweatshirt back on, have moved into bed, and am watching OWN while I finish up.  I imagine I’ll be napping in about 15 minutes.

opposite frustrations

Posted on by jplatt27

What makes you angry? Who makes you angry?

This is one question I have to answer in preparation for the first module of my life coach training this weekend.  I have to be honest there aren’t a lot of things that come to mind off the top of my head so I’ve had to think about this a little bit.

But when we got from New York on Sunday night Mike reminded me of something that drives. me. crazy.

We walk in the door around 8:45 after picking up Chipotle before getting a cab home from the bus. First thing Mike does when we get home: empty our bags and put everything into trash bags with moth balls (a preventative measure in case we picked up any hitchhikers from the hotel–a little paranoid? probably but I do understand his concern, we don’t want to go through that again).

First thing I do when we get home: drop my bags, turn on the TV, and settle onto the couch with my burrito bowl.

After Mike finishes his burrito, he starts looking around in the kitchen. (I found some random bugs a couple weeks ago in one of our kitchen cabinets.) “I found some more of those bugs.  They were dead, but still.”

More bugs? Ok, they’re dead?  No action necessary, I think.

Next thing I know he’s emptying everything out of the cabinet again and asking that I help him pull the cabinet out from the wall.

Do we have to do this now? I think. We just got home from a super busy weekend and it’s late. Can’t you see I’m busy watching the latest episode of the Kardashians? 

The next morning I’m making my usual chocolate chip pancakes and moving some baking sheets out of the way so I can get a measuring cup.  A second later Mike is standing in the kitchen saying “you’re not putting all of that stuff back already, are you?”

No, I’m not. I’m just moving them out of my way so I can get a measuring cup. (I actually might’ve said this with a little ‘tude.  Ok, I’m sure I did.)

Last night I pick Mike up from the metro, he stopped to get groceries and the bus he was taking broke down on the way home.  I unload the groceries and tell him to relax while I make dinner.  He changes his clothes and next thing I know he’s in the kitchen opening the cabinet again to check for more bugs.

Do we have to do this now? You just got home.  And I’m trying to make dinner.  Why do we need to freak out?

“You know what makes me angry?” I ask Mike. “When you are paranoid about things and start stressing out over something so small like bugs.”

“You know what makes me angry?” Mike says to me. “Your apathy to things like this.”

I just started laughing.

 

scenes from my summer home

Posted on by jplatt27

I spent the past week at my “summer home,” house-sitting Zoey and Nikko again.

Mike was actually out of town last weekend and had college buddies in town this weekend, so I had a nice little summer retreat for the past two weekends.

I read, wrote, napped, cooked a little, relaxed a lot.

I had a great week in a beautiful home and enjoyed a break from my normal routine.  But I am so glad to be back to my apartment, my bed, my DVR, my couch, and my husband.

If you had a summer retreat, what would you do?

What do you miss about your home when you’re away?

A "we're married" moment

Posted on by jplatt27

Last week, a colleague asked “have you had any ‘wow, we’re married‘ moments?”

“Hmm,” I thought, “no, I don’t think so.  None that I can really remember.”

And then, a night or two later, I had one.

I had gone to bed at 7:22pm because I wasn’t feeling well and was tired from a bachelorette party the weekend before. At 8:30pm I wake up to a crash and Mike screaming profanity.

I run to the kitchen to see what’s happened.  Mike is standing at the sink holding a bleeding pinky. There’s a broken wine glass in the sink.

I stepped in to clean up the glass and finish the rest of the dishes.

I felt terrible.

Earlier that night, I started doing the dishes but I was so tired, I didn’t finish.  The now-broken wine glass was sitting on the sink waiting to be washed but I stopped right before getting to the wine glass.  If I had taken 30 seconds to wash that wine glass, Mike wouldn’t have cut his finger.

As I finished the dishes, feeling guilty and made at myself, and knowing that Mike was probably mad at me and blamed me for his injury, I thought “yep, I feel married.” 

I apologized to Mike a lot saying that it was my fault he hurt this finger.  He assured me that it wasn’t my fault.

The next morning Mike admitted that while he was doing the dishes and just seconds before the glass broke, he was mad at me.

House-training

Posted on by jplatt27

Can you train your spouse?

I have a co-worker that hates this phrase.  Like, you train a dog, not your loved one. I get what he’s saying. Perhaps this isn’t the most PC way of saying that you encourage your partner to change some habits. But for the sake of this post, when I say training that’s what I mean.

But I do think there is a little bit of training that comes with living with someone. Mike’s learned to put the toilet seat down and to wash dishes thoroughly. This behavior modification goes both ways–it’s not just the woman training the man.

For example: Mike’s trained me to put the butter away when I’m done using it. He’s trained me to wash my lunch container at work instead of waiting until I get home. He’s taught me to lock the door behind me when I get home.

I think this kind of training is good for a relationship.  It shows that you listen and you respect your partner and their seemingly small, inconsequential preferences. You hear them when they share their gripes and work to make sure you avoid things that may drive them crazy. Is it killing Mike to put the toilet seat down? Have I lost a bit of myself because I wash my lunch container at work? No. Not at all. But the payoff is great because in doing these things we’ve removed some irritation from each other’s lives.

Granted, I think you have to pick your battles. You can’t find everything about your partner seriously irritating. And if you find that to be the case, maybe there’s something bigger going on?

Tell me:

What do you think about “training” your spouse?

What habits are you trying to train your S/O on?

What have you been trained to do?

Home Alone

Posted on by jplatt27

I’ve written here before about how important it is to do your own things in a relationship.  I spend a decent amount of time doing my own thing each week.  From drinks with girlfriends to tutoring, from morning workouts to mornings at the coffee house, I’m often out and about without Mike. Last week I was reminded of another thing I like to do without Mike and actually probably need a little bit more of in my life: hang out at home. alone.

Last Thursday, I was home from Girls on the Run by 5:30. Mike was at happy hour with former co-workers and wouldn’t be home til late.  I made a quick dinner for myself, a lackluster quesadilla with salsa and ate it.

It was 6:00, probably earlier, and I had the entire night ahead of me.  I had nothing to do.  No tutoring, no coaching calls. Just an entire Thursday evening to myself. What would I do for 3 or 4 hours?

I started by taking a nice, long, hot shower.  Took my good ‘ole time and enjoyed the warmth and relaxation of the water.  While warm, my morning showers are usually pretty quick, I do what I need to do and get out so I can get on to breakfast.

I got out, put on my robe, and got in bed to read The Other Boleyn Girl. Within 5-10 pages I was sleepy and decided to take a nap.  I napped for about half an hour, woke up, and read a little more.

I got out of bed and I can’t even remember exactly what I did next. I think I moved to the couch and read a little more. At some point, I sat down at my computer and started writing. I got a good bit of writing done. I did the dishes. I dried my hair. I got in bed around 9:30 and watched Downton Abbey on the iPad and went to bed. And it was wonderful.

It’s not like I can’t do any of these things while Mike is there.  Of course I could. But when Mike’s around, I want to spend time with him, watch TV, relax. And if we are doing separate things, Mike’s probably watching TV or listening to sports talk or doing the dishes or something that is making some kind of noise. It’s not just him.  I do the same things.

There’s nothing like being alone in your apartment.  To be able to move around the apartment doing whatever you want when you want.  You can read in bed and then move to the couch to watch TV and then listen to music and be on the computer. You can clean without worrying about making too much noise or moving around someone.

I remember having this feeling before: on a Sunday morning when Mike was off running some errands,  I was able to lay on the couch and read my book. And the apartment was so quiet. This is bliss, I thought.

I need to make a point to have more periods of time like this.

Let’s talk:

When was the last time you were home alone? What’s your favorite thing to do when no one’s around?

A Wonderfully Ordinary Wednesday Evening

Posted on by jplatt27

Last night was a really good night.  It may seem like it’s nothing special because it was just a Wednesday night at home but these kinds of nights are kind of out-of-the-ordinary for me. So, this ordinary, run-of-the-mill Wednesday night filled with normal things and with a blend of relaxing and productivity is very special to me.

Warning: this post is full of digressions and small details.

I got home from work and immediately sat down at the computer to do some writing.  I even sat there with my jacket on for a little while.  Usually I come home and change my clothes first. thing. But I was motivated and wanted to jot my ideas down while they were fresh so I did.  I wrote for about 20 minutes or so until Mike got home.

I greeted him: “Hello! What are you doing?”

He responds: “Just walking in the door.”

Me: “Why are you laughing?”

Mike: “Because I just walked in the door, that’s what I’m doing.”

Riight.

Usually we get started on dinner right away but I suggested we get in bed for a bit. I took off my skirt and cardigan and climbed into bed in my underwear and blouse. It was one of those ahh, this bed is soo comfortable feelings where you just melt into the bed and your stress falls away. Mike changed out of his work clothes and joined me and had the exact same reaction until he said “can you move over? I’m not liking this…” I readjusted.

We basked in the glory of our comfortable bed and our little reprive. Mike said “My feet are cold, let me get in here” as he put his cold feet between mine.  We snuggled in together.

I was about to doze off when he asked me how my day was.

“It was good,” I said sleepily.

“Now’s not a good time to chat?”

“No, I’ll chat.  If I want to chat at all I better do it now since the Flyers are on tonight and you won’t be available then.”

I told him about my day, a small accomplishment at work. Then, he shared about his day.  Then…

“Do I still have that thing in my nose?” I ask holding my nose open and pointing.

“What thing? I don’t see anything.”

“Like right there. I can feel it, it hurts kinda.”

“Close your nostril.”

We stayed in bed for a while chatting briefly and cuddling.  This 30 minutes in bed was such a nice break from the usual.

I volunteered to make dinner while Mike relaxed on the couch. He was excited when I offered and I was happy to do it.

While making dinner I boiled some eggs, something I’d been meaning to do all week.  And when I cracked them for breakfast this morning they were perfect.

Here’s the method we used from Real Simple. Yes, we had to Google because neither of us knew the right way and when I called my mom she didn’t answer.

It’s funny–that’s the first thing that comes to mind when I imagine my mom not being here anymore and me wanting to call her for something. That I won’t be able to call her to tell me how to boil an egg. And I never wanted to Google it because of that. But as I was thinking about this last night I’m like I Google a million other things. It’s fine to Google things there’s a method for.  What will be really sad is when my mom isn’t there for me to call when I’m sick (like I did every day I was sick last week–she’s probably glad I’m better) or when I’m upset or need help with my future kids. It’s fine to Google how to boil an egg.

We watched an episode of Modern Family while we ate BLT’s.  We’re watching from the beginning on Netflix. It was the Valentine’s Day episode in the second season.

Then I hopped up to do my project: make chocolate chip cookie dough peanut butter cups for book club on Friday. Mike did the dishes quick while I read through the recipe and collected the ingredients.

I worked happily on these little gems, squealing with delight as they started to come together. Mike was yelling in anger at the Flyers.

In between the three phases I wrote a blog post and did the dishes. I finished the peanut butter cups, finished the dishes, finished the blog post and got in bed to read.

Lights out at 9:55. Good. night.

I’d love to know:

What’s a great Wednesday night for you?

What are some things you call your mom for?

 

Game Change

Posted on by jplatt27

Just dropped Mike off at the airport and I’m happy to report that I held it together last night and this morning! Dropping him off and driving home I was a little sad and wanted to cry but the tears didn’t come. And when I remembered I had this cupcake to comfort me at home, that didn’t hurt either. Writing this post also helped me move past my sadness so thanks for reading!

We had a really nice night last night.  Our plan to lay low was a good one.  I ended up getting out of work an hour early yesterday so I met Mike at the gym (he always gets out early on Fridays, lucky). Then we used a Groupon and picked up a pizza from Potomac Pizza. If you live in the NW DC area or Montgomery County, I highly recommend Potomac Pizza.  It’s the closest pizza to the Philly/SE PA pizza we’re used to that we’ve found in the 3 years we’ve been here. We came home, showered, and settled in on the couch with a few slices.

After flipping through the channels a little bit and watching a few segments of both Khloe & Lamar and SVU that’d we seen already, I decided we’d watch Game Change, the new HBO movie about the 2008 McCain/Palin campaign. Mike had already seen it completely through once in addition to bits and pieces randomly throughout the week.  He said he likes it more every time he sees it.  Since I have a hard time making it through a whole movie in one sitting and I didn’t have much interest in it and I didn’t want my separation anxiety to flare up during a long, boring movie, I was skeptical about watching this last night.  But I figured we’d at least start it.  At this point Mike knows we’ll have to view a film in multiple sittings anyway so no trouble if I got bored.

Well let me tell you, I couldn’t stop watching.  It was really good.  It’s all about how the McCain campaign chose Sarah Palin as McCain’s running mate and how they prepared her for the campaign trail. It was fascinating! And Julianne Moore played a great Sarah Palin. I kept asking Mike “did this really happen?” and “is this true?” or “do you think she actually did that?” I don’t want to get into a political discussion here because to be honest I’m not super interested in political debate, and that is not what my blog is about. What I am interested in and what the movie focuses on is the behind the scenes of politics: what goes into a political campaign, the many layers of decisions made, and the relationships (or sometimes lack thereof) between the people involved. These things are fascinating to me.  I’d highly recommend Game Change if you haven’t seen it yet. It’s been playing pretty regularly on HBO since it aired on the 10th so I’m sure you can catch it again in the next week or so.

We didn’t make it through the entire movie without taking a break.  We had planned to take a walk and get some ice cream so we did that about an hour and a half in. We popped over to Something Sweet, a small bakery/ice cream shop in our neighborhood that we visit a little too frequently, and took our ice cream on a little stroll and sat on a bench in front of the National Cathedral.

We had a really nice night and I’m glad it was tarnished by my anxiety.  Mike hasn’t mentioned anything, but I’m sure he’s glad too.

I’d love to know:

What’d you do last night?

Have you seen Game Change? What did you think?

Breakfast at the table

Posted on by jplatt27

Yesterday morning, Mike took his breakfast (my favorite pancakes) and coffee to the kitchen table.  “Sitting at the the table this morning?” I said, hopefully. We always eat breakfast at home during the week but usually while watching The Today Show, Morning Joe, or Mike & Mike. We hadn’t really seen or spoken to each other for two days while Mike was working an event for his job and when he got home at 11pm and greeted sleeping me with a kiss my 1/4 awake response was “What, you’re not even going to tell me you’re home?” Welcome home, huh? The next morning, I was excited to chat, had so many things to share and Mike sitting down at the table told me that he was open to some conversation.

I love when we eat at the table together but it’s a rare occurrence.  We usually eat dinner eat on the couch at the coffee table while watching TV. But recently we’ve both realized that we should eat at our table more.

It’s amazing how much more we talk when we’re sitting across the table from each other–we’ll actually have a conversation. Not like we don’t chat when we’re on the couch but the conversation is much more engaging, much more of a dialogue when we’re sitting at a real table. On the couch, it seems like we’re just reporting out.

If you ever feel disconnected from your significant other, I suggest sitting down to dinner.

I think it’s really important for couples to sit across the table from each other and talk and listen.  Honestly, this is important for any people that are living together, family members, friends, roommates, whatever.  It’s easy to go about your business and not really talk. And doesn’t it feel so good to really talk?

I’d love to know:

How often do you eat at the table? Do you agree that sitting at the table facilitates better conversation?

Household organization

Posted on by jplatt27

My focus for January is household organization because I’ve been feeling unorganized and not on top of things for the past few months (thanks bed bugs!). We had our last bed-bug treatment on January 3, so this focus is fitting and timely. And what a great way to start a new year.

Organized Space

My best friend Amanda came down the weekend after the treatment and helped us put all of our belongings back in their homes. Without her, it would’ve taken Mike and I days to put everything back and it would’ve remained unorganized even after things were in their places. It can be so paralyzing to make decisions about your own things and I can get totally lost in the weeds over-analyzing where things should go.  But as I combed through all of our belongings making decisions on what should stay and what should go, Amanda found homes for them in our closets, on our desk, and in our bookshelf. I honestly couldn’t believe how organized things were when she was done.  She just has an eye for this sort of thing. (I told her she should start a side business to make some extra money while she’s in law school.)

Our space is organized (minus our bedroom, we decided to let the treatment sit for an additional week), and I’d like to keep it that way so I’ve paid special attention to putting things back where they belong.  I’d also like to keep our apartment clean.

Clean Space

To be honest, I’ve never been great about keeping our place clean.  Aside from dishes and laundry, cleaning has never been super high on our priority list. We’d both clean the apartment but not on a regular basis. It was just something we never thought about, until things got so gross that one of us got fed up and decided to do something about it.

To get us organized I made a Cleaning Checklist and taped it to the wall in our kitchen.  This way we’ll both remember what needs to be done and if we have some time we can tackle one of the items on the list.  Honestly, each of the tasks on the list takes 20 minutes tops and I’d rather spend 20 minutes here and there than an entire afternoon on a weekend cleaning. I proposed we adapt the Williams’ 10-minute rule but it hasn’t caught on just yet.  Next week is the first week this month that our schedules aren’t crazy so maybe we’ll pick it up then. But even 10 minutes a few times a week is better than what we were doing before.

Money in order

The other aspect of our household that we wanted to get organized was our finances.  We had a nice conversation about our money and then on January 1 we sat down and worked out a new budget. Then I posted a tracker on the wall in our kitchen to track variable expenses throughout the month.  And so far, we’ve stuck to our budget! I think just having the awareness helped.  I’m not sure we’re necessarily spending differently than we did in the past but we’re more on the same page about where we are with our budget, what’s been spent, etc.

Still to do

In the last week and a half of the month, we’ll get our bedroom cleaned and organized, I’ll look through our apartment for things to purge, add them to the pile above, (inspired by Jess’ challenge, I’m hoping to get rid of 100 items), and then get them out of our home either by freecycling, donating, giving to friends, or trashing.

I’d love to know:

How’s your January? 

Do you ever feel not-on-top-of-it when it comes to household/personal tasks?