Tag: home life

056: Heart to Heart on Marriage

Posted on by jplatt27

Advice for newlyweds, finances, being single, perceptions of marrying young #marriageadvice #marriedlife #marriagegoals #relationshipgoals #podcast #relationshipcoach #marriagecoach #familylife #journalprompt #writingprompt #dailyjournaling

 

This month’s heart to heart is on the topic of Marriage. In this episode of Love Always, Jo I’ll be answering questions about advice for newlyweds, finances, being single, and the perceptions of marrying young.

Journal Prompts:

  • What are good things that are happening in your life?
  • Who does your inner critic think you need to be now that you’re a wife?
  • How can you enjoy this season you’re in right now?
  • How can you love where you’re at in your life right now?
  • If you loved your life what would change for you? How would you act differently, think differently, show up in your relationships?

Quotes:

  • Marriage is not set it and forget it
  • Monitor your connection
  • Marriage takes effort, attention and intention
  • Don’t put your marriage on autopilot
  • You are still just as valuable and lovable as you’ve always been no matter what stage of life you’re in
  • When you know, you know
  • You don’t have to have all the answers
  • Change is a good way to illuminate that patterns you’re in

 

What is your best advice for newlyweds?

When you ask someone how married life is going often they’ll say it’s the same and that nothing has changed. However, something does change, there is a subtle shift in your relationship. Often you’ll feel more deeply committed to your partner, with men in particular, they feel more responsible for you and need to provide for you in that way. Honor the change and identity shift and know its okay if you feel those deeper feelings that people don’t often talk about. Create space in your life to reflect on it.

Also, watch what your inner critic thinks about who you should be now that you’re married or who your partner should be ( i.e. you should be happy, newlywed phase or there are challenges you didn’t expect). Be careful with what you project on yourself and onto your partner.

The last thing is that marriage is not set it and forget it. Happily ever after is a thing, but you have to be intentional about it. Make sure you monitor your connection with your spouse. Marriage takes effort, attention and intention.

 

Should the amount of time I spend with friends change now that I’m married? Should I spend more time with my partner and less time with my friends?

If the amount you’re spending with friends works for you and your partner, go with that. If friendship is a high value of yours you need to continue to prioritize that. It’s great that you’re cognizant of your husbands needs, so if you aren’t sure, ask them and create the space for them to answer honestly. Give them time to answer because chances are they haven’t fully thought about that yet, so give them a couple days to process and get back to you.

Another thing to ask is, is your partner’s love language quality time? If it is then ask them what it looks like and how much quality time they actually need versus quantity time.

There’s also a chance that your inner critic is telling you that you need to spend less time with other and have less fun now that you’re a wife. My inner critic thinks I need to be a 1950’s wife, but my husband doesn’t even get home until 7:30, so a lot of those things my inner critic thinks I should be and do, isn’t grounded in reality. So you need to ask yourself, who does your inner critic think you need to be now that you’re a wife? What roles and expectations, are they true? Do you want to be that person? Does your spouse want you to be that person?

 

How to talk about money without tension (without the conversation going off the rails)?

This is a tough one. We still personally struggle with this, but we’ve gotten better at it. Money is about security, safety, survival, stability. And it’s about values and getting your needs met.

That means that your inner critic is right there at the front wanting to advocate for whatever you need, it’s not your true self but your protector. You can’t have a productive conversation from that place.

Tip 1: Watch how your fight or flight response kicks in during these conversations. Remind yourself that you are safe. Know it’s okay and normal for that response to happen. Even though we now have weekly money meetings, we still need to take breaks during the conversation because we still can get emotional or scared. There’s always more to learn and figure out about your money, yourself and your spouse. Give it time and know you may need to have multiple conversations about one topic.

Tip 2: Split your money conversations into 2 parts. In part one, talk about the heart stuff (what do you need, what do you want, etc.), then talk about the head stuff (nuts and bolts of the numbers — budgeting tool).

Tip 3: Use a budgeting tool. We use YNAB (You Need A Budget) to help use budget and manage our finances.

Note: I have a whole lesson on talking about money in my relationship course, Engaged. And, because so much of today’s conversation ties to things covered in that course, like money and inner critic in marriage, I’m giving you all $50 off of the course if you sign up before October 31, 2018. Use code lovealwaysjo at checkout. Go to joanna-platt.com/engaged to learn more.

 

These next two questions came in and I’ll answer them separately, but wanted to say that even though they seem so different, they’re both about fitting in and feeling left out or different. We all just want to belong and be confident about where we are in our lives. This is such a weird time in life. Until you graduate from college, everyone around you is at the exact same step. Navigating this time in your life is like balancing on a Bosu ball.

 

Can we talk about being the single at the dinner party? What about those of us in this shifting generation who always thought we’d be married in our 20s and are now adjusting to life as a party of 1 in a circle full of married friends.

Know that we love you and want you around. Regardless of what your relationship status is we love you and need you in our lives still. I love my single friends because it can be easier (or feels easier) to get quality time with them (quality time is my love language). You still add value to our lives. I love talking with my single friends, there’s a different pace of life and schedule.

Something similar actually came up for me recently. I found out that one of my friends is pregnant. A lot of my friends are starting families and we’re not. When I found out about it, I felt two emotions: like a failure and lonely. And happy for my friend, of course. I felt like a failure because I wasn’t doing what everyone else was doing. But I can’t make myself get there any sooner than I’m going to get there. I felt lonely because my friends were moving on to different steps and then they’ll be in different life phases then me and it made me think will they even want me or need me in their life anymore.

Here’s the thing. You are not a failure because you’re not married yet. Just like I’m not a failure because I haven’t started a family. And, we are still just as valuable and lovable as we’ve always been.

Ask yourself this question: How can you enjoy this season, knowing your person is out there somewhere and you will meet at the exact right time? How can you love where you’re at in your life right now? If you did love your life what would change for you? How would you act differently, think differently, show up in your relationships?

 

I think it would be interesting for you to share your perceptions on marriage culture in DC. I’m feeling like the odd one out for being married so young, whereas in the Midwest it wasn’t like that. And how people think marriage means sacrificing your individuality and potential advancement. I feel like I have to justify to others WHY I’m already married.

First things first — when you know, you know.

Secondly, watch your inner critic. Your inner critic probably wants you to do what everyone else is doing. I know mine does. That’s why me not having a baby after being married for so long has been very challenging for me emotionally. Remind your inner critic that it’s OK to get married “young”.

People in big cities tend to put marriage off longer than in other parts of the country. I think it’s because people in big cities are more focused on their careers and have more distractions. It’s just a different timeline, but that doesn’t mean that it’s right or wrong or that you’re not career focused if you get married young.

I also got married young. I got married when I was 25. Mike was 24! Being married has not made either of us sacrifice our individuality or potential advancement. He’s my biggest cheerleader and I’m his. Our marriage has been a space for us to grow and explore together and to bring our individual challenges and work through them. It’s a beautiful thing.

In last week’s episode, Jennifer Greer of Your Kickass Marriage said “Marriage and relationships should be spacious.” I completely agree. There should be space for both of you to learn and grow and reach your full potential.

 

Adjusting to change and not doing what you “should” do in marriage or home life

Mike recently changed his work hours to go until 6:30 every night. He doesn’t get home until 7:30. So we decided that we would do dinner separately during the week because I get hungry at like 4 and don’t sleep well when I eat later. This seems easy. But I got so sad and cried over this. Culture has been telling us that we need to eat together as a family in order to connect, so it’s been interesting navigating this change. It feels like standing on a Bosu ball trying to adjust to the new schedule. But looking back at how we used to do it I wouldn’t say it was necessarily working for us, but it was still an adjustment and change we had to work through.

Try it and see what happens, you don’t have to have all the answers. You can still have a very happy, connected, loving relationship even if you don’t have dinner together (or whatever your situation may be). What can you learn from this? What would happen if you got curious about this new normal? Even if you’re not the 1950’s housewife you’re still loveable and valuable.

Change is a good way to illuminate that patterns you’re in.

 

Two quick things before I let you go:

If you love this conversation and want to know more about my thoughts, advice, and guidance on marriage, I’ve put it all into my marriage course, Engaged. Get $50 off Engaged with the code lovealwaysjo when you sign up by October 31. Go to Joanna-platt.com/engaged to learn more.

Next month’s heart to heart topic will be on Doing It All. Send questions, thoughts, advice, or concerns on this topic to me here.

 

Advice for newlyweds, finances, being single, perceptions of marrying young #marriageadvice #marriedlife #marriagegoals #relationshipgoals #podcast #relationshipcoach #marriagecoach #familylife #journalprompt #writingprompt #dailyjournaling

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055: Advocating for Your Own Needs in Your Marriage with Jennifer Greer

Posted on by jplatt27

Advocating for Your Own Needs in Your Marriage with Jennifer Greer #marriageadvice #marriedlife #marriagegoals #relationshipgoals #podcast #relationshipcoach #marriagecoach #familylife

 

In this episode of Love Always, Jo, Joanna interviews Jennifer Greer, a certified professional marriage coach and love leader at Your Kickass Marriage. Jennifer has been fascinated by relationships since she was a child, so it’s no surprise that she’s studied familial, platonic, and romantic relationships throughout her academic and professional careers. As a marriage coach, she helps her clients create a highly conscious relationship with themselves and their spouse. Jennifer says:

“Soul work and global healing is what I do. Marriage is simply the vehicle through which it’s performed. Just as my husband and I healed our wounds and our own broken marriage, I get the opportunity to experience this same miracle happening in the lives of my clients and community every day. Because of this, I’m one #blessed woman.”

 

In this episode Jennifer and I discuss…

  • Knowing what your needs are
  • Learning how to set boundaries
  • Owning your own crap and letting your spouse own theirs
  • Being an empath
  • How to get out of the hole you’re in and prevent it from happening again
  • How to communicate your needs to your spouse

 

Follow Jennifer:

 

Recommended Book:

  • The Highly Sensitive Person in Love by Dr. Elaine Aron

 

Journal Prompts:

  • What do you need right now?
  • What are you gaining by being a fixer?
  • What is it costing you to be a fixer?
  • Do you want to get out of the hole you’re in?
  • What does self-care look like for you?

 

Quotes:

  • Own your own crap — Jennifer
  • It’s not always on you to fix everything — Jennifer
  • Your problem is that you think you need to fix everyone else’s problem — Jennifer
  • Check in with yourself to see what you need right now — Jennifer
  • People go through seasons of challenge — Joanna
  • It’s okay to feel the lows with the ones you love without needing to feel responsible to fix it — Jennifer
  • Feel your feelings without letting them own you — Jennifer
  • Take responsibility for your own actions, feelings, and thoughts — Jennifer
  • No one can make you feel this way unless you allow them to — Jennifer
  • Don’t judge yourself for being in the hole you’re in — Jennifer
  • Acknowledge the pattern — Jennifer
  • You don’t always have to be in control; Trust the process — Jennifer
  • The path out of the hole will be unique to the one in it — Jennifer
  • You’re on the path you’re on because you led yourself there — Jennifer
  • Practice communication and what your needs are — Jennifer
  • Your partner doesn’t know what they don’t know — Jennifer
  • You’re not responsible for anyone else’s boundaries — Jennifer
  • Prioritize your relationship with yourself — Jennifer
  • You’re responsible for your own well-being — Jennifer
  • Self-care looks different to everyone — Jennifer
  • Marriage and relationships should be spacious — Jennifer

 

Advocating for Your Own Needs in Your Marriage with Jennifer Greer #marriageadvice #marriedlife #marriagegoals #relationshipgoals #podcast #relationshipcoach #marriagecoach #familylife

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049: July Q&A

Posted on by jplatt27

 

This month’s Q&A questions come from Brit and Dave. In this episode of Love Always, Jo I actually didn’t get any questions for me so I thought it’d be fun to have my husband Mike answer some questions for me. In this episode, Mike answers questions about what it’s like to be married to a life coach, how to stay positive, and choosing a job that makes you happy.

 

Links:

 

Quotes:

  • Things don’t always have to be the way you were taught that they should be – Mike
  • If you numb one feeling you numb all the feelings — Brene Brown
  • May everyone find something in their life that makes them feel the way the Eagles winning the Super Bowl makes Mike feel — Joanna
  • Do what makes you happy and not what you think you should be doing – Mike

 

Journal Prompts:

  • What does resistance sound like in your head?
  • When things aren’t going great in life what are things that you can look at and say yeah but look at ____.
  • What parts of Mikes story do you relate to
  • Where can you be more supportive of yourself
  • What checkboxes are you working toward that you don’t feel aligned with

 

Follow Mike:

Instagram

 

What is it like being married to a life coach?

You get the full range of emotions pretty much every day it’s really good Joanna’s helped me get through a lot of stuff that I don’t think another partner would be able to do. I’m really grateful it’s your superpower.

 

Assuming that you feel resistance to feeling your feelings, what does your resistance “sound like” in your head? What does it say when you’re edging up against emotions you don’t necessarily want to deal with? And then what helps you push past those thoughts and face your emotions? — Brit, @jammarketinggroup

 

(Mike) We talk a lot about numbing and there’s a distance to feeling things you don’t want to feel turns into numbing and that’s doing something mindless or grasping for something you don’t need but feels comfortable to help deflect some of those feelings and feel like you’re in a safer space. It’s like when I turn on the news and just veg out it’s distracting me from stress or anxiety about work.

 

Resistance in my head sounds like avoidance— ‘you can deal with it later’ but not really believing it because it’s still weighing on you. So using things like turning on the news to distract from stress or going out to eat so I’m not sitting at home stuck in my head.

 

What helps me to push past it is time, there’s only so long you can numb out for before you realize you have to face it and just do it. Sometimes things at work stress me out so when I come home I tend to resist thinking about what’s going on the next day or the things on my to do list I have to do. It turns me into a procrastinator which I’m not which is something I really hate the idea of.

 

(Joanna) I took Brit’s new online test to determine what your marketing personality is and through that I learned I’m a P (which is super free flowing) and Mike is a J (which is structure and routine) which makes sense as to why you’re not (or don’t want to be) a procrastinator.

 

You recently made a career move that was pretty brave, can you tell us about how you made that choice?

 

(Mike) The deeper thing for me would be that I have a fear and hatred of being wrong or not knowing how to do something when people expect that I know how to do it. That’s what would give me stress at work; I’ve always been really good at my job and as I started moving up in positions I’d get around more and more people who were older than me and had more experience which would cause me to feel partially like the weak link. And that would exacerbate the things that would cause the anxiety of “I don’t know what I’m doing” and those feelings would lead to the daily numbing out because I didn’t want to be in the situation again.

 

In my last job from day one, I felt that I didn’t know what I was doing and then it essentially bottomed out/came to the surface and I started to have breakdowns feeling that the weight of the company was on my shoulders. It started because there was the daily numbing and escapism of looking at jobs that weren’t in DC anymore. Once I started to face it head on I hired a life coach (Kristen of Clarity on Fire) and it helped give me outlets and come up with solutions to mitigate the intense feelings and help me get through the days and weeks. It helped me get clarity on what I wanted to do next. Part of what I did was write down my core desired feelings— that was the start of figuring out what I wanted and was something I used to help evaluate future job opportunities I was having.

 

How do you stay positive all the time and how are you supportive of Joanna and others. Do you have tips about how others can be as supportive to others? — Dave – @dclands

 

(Mike) I think I’ve always been a generally optimistic person, so I think the positivity and stuff come naturally to me. Being able to be so supportive of what Joanna’s doing now is a result of our relationship and I think she’s taught me that there’s a different path to life than what we’ve been told. Things don’t always have to be the way you were taught that they should be. Or the way that is “normal”. The idea of Joanna being a life coach isn’t anything we were exposed to growing up; dads went off to work at a 9-5, moms stayed home, very middle-class upbringing. You assume you’ll grow up, go to college, get a job, buy a house, and have kids. I think in our relationship Joanna taught me you don’t have to do that, you can do things intentionally and it doesn’t have to fit the mold that everyone else is doing. If it’s right for you then it’s the right thing.

 

(Joanna) You have a very live and let live attitude which I think also helps with that.

 

(Mike) When you’re numbing out that’s not a time to be supportive. If you’re numbing yourself out then its much harder to be optimistic, fun, and supportive of someone else because you don’t want to deal with anything. A tip would be to be conscious of when you’re numbing out and then try to get yourself out of it so you can have the bandwidth to hear what’s going on with someone else.

 

(Joanna) When you’re in a constant battle with your inner critic believing that you have to live your life a certain way, you’re also putting that lens on everyone else. So one thing you can do to be more supportive of others is to be supportive and compassionate with yourself. That will help you be more present and shift you out of the numbness/judgmental feeling.

 

I think it was really brave of you to make the change in your job. Can you share how you had the courage to make the change?

 

(Mike) I started my new job a month ago and for the first 10 years of my career it was straight out of college and I just wanted to keep moving up and was very focused on titles and feeling like I was working for the right company or organization. I had the umbrella that I wanted to do public service, which is why I worked where I did. And in the past 5 years when I was at my last job I had the opportunity to get promoted and became a manager for the first time in a high-profile job in our CEO’s office. Through that, I got the opportunity to join a leadership development program which is all about developing me and the others in my cohort for future VP roles in the company. You move through different jobs in the company so that when the time comes you’re ready to be a VP in the company. In the last few years, I started having a push-pull feeling realizing that I didn’t want to work. I work because I need money to do things outside of work, which isn’t something I’d felt until a few years ago. It boils down to the fact that I had a literal plan of where I was going and what I needed to do to get to the next position and I didn’t enjoy the process. Probably because I wasn’t doing anything anymore it was more strategy/big picture. So I started looking for a new job outside the organization and I started thinking if I don’t want to work but I have to do something, what do I actually want to do? The work I always got the most satisfaction out of when I sat down at my desk was task-oriented work, like administrative work. I’d rather have a dozen small things to do a day rather than one big thing to do each day. I put things on to do lists just to mark them off sometimes.

 

So I reached out to a recruiting firm that specialized in that type of work and started going down the path of an executive assistant. For me it was what I liked doing and I get satisfaction from the work I’d do. An opportunity came up at rapid speed (less than 3 weeks from interview to hire) and since I made the move my quality of life has improved greatly. I feel like I’m back in the right place for me. I don’t feel like the weight of the company is on my shoulders anymore and at the end of the day I can look at my to do list and feel satisfied that I completed something. It feels natural, like it’s what I’m supposed to be doing.

 

(Joanna) How’d you get there internally?

 

(Mike) While it didn’t feel like a risk, it did feel like a big decision but knowing how stressed I was and how much it was impacting me I knew it wasn’t sustainable. I finally feel like I can actually enjoy my weekend, not dreading Monday and having to go back to work.

 

Love Always, Jo is about lighting you up and relishing your joy—so Mike, what is making you glow from the inside out?

(Mike) The Eagles won the SuperBowl—I still can’t believe it actually happened. From watching the Eagles play 20+ years you get to a point where you don’t think it’s ever going to happen and to see the way they won it. The reason why I’m beaming when talking about it is that I’m really interested and passionate about sports. It’s such a part of who I am and being a fan of those teams is such a part of my identity and the identity of Philadelphia sports is not one of winning a lot, so the pure joy of the thing you’ve put so much time and emotions into that you have no control over and have come to fruition after 25 years is pretty amazing. It’s perspective changing.

 

What have you done recently that changed your morning workout game?

(Mike) I used to force myself on a morning workout routine because I don’t like working out in general and knew I wouldn’t do it at the end of the day. But a morning routine wasn’t working for me because I need time to wake up. One day I realized what if I flipped my morning routine and allowed myself to wake up, have coffee and then go workout? Since flipping that I’ve been able to keep that routine for about 6 weeks.

 

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047: A Heart to Heart on Burnout

Posted on by jplatt27

How to avoid burnout #lifecoach #relationshipcoach #selfhelp #selflove #personaldevelopment #findingbalance #findbalance #worklifebalance

 

In this episode of Love Always, Jo, I’ll be talking about what’s been going on with me lately. If you’re feeling burned out about summer and everything going on in your life right now, know that you’re not alone. Listen to this episode to hear my heart to heart chat.

 

In this episode I talk about…

  • My breakdown during the month of June – from traveling every weekend to lots of personal transitions
  • How morning pages helped me through this season – listen to the episode here
  • How to preserve space in your calendar so you don’t end up exhausted
  • Ways to steal a few minutes for yourself and step away from the pressures you’re feeling

 

Quotes:

  • Give yourself permission to clear your calendar
  • Sometimes you just need to get through it and know it will be better soon
  • Don’t get too down on yourself
  • Do what you can to lift the pressures off of you that you can
  • Take a step back and survey what you’ve done in the meantime
  • Just show up and be there

 

Journal:

  • Where did you show up well in your life this month?
  • Where can you steal a few minutes for yourself?
  • How can you soak up a simple joy today?
  • What are some things you could do today that would make you feel like life is in order?

 

Are you a high achiever and tired of being burnt out?

I would love to hop on a 30-minute coffee chat with you about something new that I’m working on. If you see yourself as a high achiever and don’t want to continue the cycle of burnout. If you want to move from a place of people pleasing to someone who’s shining in the world, owning who you are, and treating yourself to simple pleasures. If you want to have a calendar that is both full and spacious, I’d love to hear your thoughts and get your input on what I’m working on!

To schedule a coffee chat you can either email me (Joanna@joanna-platt.com) or book your chat here.

P.S. Let me know in the email/form that you’d like to hop on the coffee chat mentioned in Episode 47.

 

How to avoid burnout #lifecoach #relationshipcoach #selfhelp #selflove #personaldevelopment #findingbalance #findbalance #worklifebalance

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041: Give Yourself a Break

Posted on by jplatt27

 

I had two ideas in mind for today’s episode: Managing Your Energy and How to Avoid Burnout. Today’s episode is neither of those, but it fits perfectly with those themes.

This episode is more a show than tell. A practice what you preach kind of thing.

This is my last week at my full-time job. Since I gave my notice two weeks ago, there’s been a LOT going on. One of my direct reports got a new job and his last day happened, our fiscal year ended (I’m a fundraiser so this is a big deal), and I was out of the office for two days serving as a judge for an industry award competition, and I had my period last week which requires a big slow down in energy.

This week’s top priority is finishing out my full-time job, closing this chapter, and processing all of the emotions that come with that. And there will be a lot.

Frankly, I don’t have the bandwidth, physically, emotionally, and mentally to do the episodes I mentioned earlier. So I need to give myself a break. I need to give myself permission to do what I can and acknowledge what I can’t and not push. And let that be OK.

Sometimes in life, we’ve got to let ourselves put all of our energy in one basket for a little while.

Sometimes in life, we need to give ourselves a break. Sometimes we have to acknowledge when the lift is too great and choose to let that be OK.

So that’s what I’m doing with this episode this week. And it does tie in to managing your energy and avoiding burnout. Giving yourself a break, recognizing your limits and living accordingly is one way to manage your energy and avoid burnout.

Where might you need a break this week? How can you give yourself permission to take that break?

Quotes:

  • Recognize your limits and adjust your output accordingly
  • Give yourself permission to take a break
  • There’s power in the pause

Journal prompt:

  • Where can you give yourself a break?

If you want to discuss self-care and how to avoid burnout, book a free discovery call with me at joannaplattcoaching.acuityscheduling.com.

Do you know someone who would appreciate this episode, or another Love Always, Jo episode? Send it her way.

 

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what i’m learning about sports

Posted on by jplatt27

For as long as I’ve known Mike, he’s been a huge Philadelphia sports fan. Between the Flyers, Eagles, and Phillies we’re always in-season for one of the sports. When we moved in together, one of the most notable things was how much he watches sports. If it’s not an actual game, it’s what we’ve come to call “talking about sports”: Mike and Mike, SportsCenter, Pardon the Interruption, pre- and post-game coverage. In the car we frequently stream Philly sports talk and Mike will also listen to it on his morning and evening bus rides. And though he’s normally a pretty calm, steady guy, that all goes out the window when the Flyers or Eagles are on. The hootin’ and hollerin’ is really something else. It got so bad one time, I was afraid he was going to get so riled up he was going to throw the remote or something and ruin our new TV.

So given all of this, I never really got it. And now, almost 6 years later, I get it.

Sports give you something to be a part of, something bigger than yourself. They bring commaraderie among fans, across generations, and can even bond people through mutual hatred of other teams. One of the most basic human needs is to be a part of a tribe. Being a sports fan is a great example of that.

Sports are an emotional roller coaster and allow you to feel your full range of emotions in a way that isn’t socially acceptable in many other contexts. From an amazing goal to a devastating loss, sports give you permission to openly feel and express it all – joy, anger, and sadness.

It’s home. It’s comfort. It’s the annual hope that this could finally be the year that your team, your city, wins it all.

Are you a sports fan? What about it draws you in?

caught between now and then

Posted on by jplatt27

We were driving back from the grocery store and I was daydreaming about when we have a house someday and have family and friends over for meals all the time. Our home is cozy and welcoming and we always have people around, always feel loved.

We drove by the Cathedral and I noticed a man taking a picture. I looked and saw the Cathedral lit by a setting sun. It was sad and beautiful. In that moment I got nostalgic for the life we have now.

I think the emotions of this moment were enhanced by this song that happened to be playing on the radio, Trace Adkins’ You’re Gonna Miss This:

Before she knows it she’s a brand new bride
In her one bedroom apartment and her daddy stops by
He tells her it’s a nice place, she says, It’ll do for now
Starts talkin’ about babies and buyin’ a house
Daddy shakes his head and says, Baby, just slow down

Cuz’ you’re gonna miss this
You’re gonna want this back
You’re gonna wish these days
Hadn’t gone by so fast

These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you’re gonna miss this

I know I’ll miss this place and this time when we move away. Miss the hustle and bustle of the city. The beauty of the National Mall and my favorite drive down Rock Creek Parkway along the water. I’ll miss the lazy weekend mornings at home, breakfast at the coffee table and the huge windows that greet me when I walk in the door. I’ll miss the days of just the two of us. I imagine I’ll look back on this as a time when life was simple and easy, when our cares were minimal.

But I still yearn for a future time when I don’t feel as isolated. When our weekends are filled with family and friends around our table and our house is filled with the warmth that comes with a home-cooked meal.

And so I feel sad. Sad because in yearning for that, I’m wishing this time away.

But I guess the good news is that now is good and then will also be good.

 

between work and bed

Posted on by jplatt27

I’m realizing how much time there actually is between the time I get off work and the time I go to bed.  (And that’s really saying something considering how early I get in bed…usually around 9pm.)

For the first time since I graduated college, I don’t have a million things going on after work. When I started my current job, I was working at Barnes and Noble part time.  Then I started taking classes and tutoring after work.  Then I continued tutoring and started my coach training program. Now that my coach training program is over, my schedule is so free.  And it’s pretty amazing.

I’m amazed at how many things I can do between the time I come home from work and the time I go to bed. Today, I came home and wasn’t feeling so great so I plopped on the couch and watched an episode of Married to Jonas (seriously, I really love that show, I think Danielle Jonas is really endearing…guilty pleasure), did some tapping to release some stress (this video x3), watched an episode of Army Wives, had dinner, had some quality time with Mike and now I’m blogging before a call with a client at 8:30.

I’ve been a little slower in growing my business than I may have expected because I am so loving this time. I used to be so go-go-go and now I realize how nice it is to have blocks of time, just at home, to be. So I’m giving myself this time.  My business will grow at it’s own pace.

Wow. This is pretty cool. I still have 45 mins before my call. I’m going to fold some laundry and read a little bit.

Share your thoughts:

What do you do after work?

Have you had any instances lately where you realized how time differed from what you thought?

P.S. If you haven’t visited my business site yet, pop on over and check it out.  And while you’re there, sign up for the newsletter! First issue goes out this week!

a new kind of saturday

Posted on by jplatt27

Free Saturdays are few and far between for us so when we have one, we almost don’t know what to do with ourselves.

That’s what happened this Saturday.  We woke up late (about 9:30) and moved to the couch for Scandal and a sub-par batch of our go-to pancakes.  Great start to the day.

But then what?

“What should we do today?” we kept asking each other.

Should we go for a hike? Go bike riding? How about a trip to the Newseum? We threw out a bunch of ideas, none of which had any excitement behind them. We couldn’t even decide where we wanted to go for lunch.

Finally I was like let’s just relax for a little bit and we’ll make a move when we’re ready to make a move.  It’s clear we don’t know what we want to do and everything just seems a little forced.

So we hung out around the apartment. We straightened up a little bit, got back in bed for a little bit, and then I showered and spent time doing my hair.

Around 1:30 we left our apartment to get lunch outside at Open City. It was a gorgeous fall day and we sat outside chatting over coffee and breakfast food.

It was so nice to just sit and chat, really chat. Quality time has been a little sparse the last two weeks and I found myself loving the time, just the two of us, nothing to do but enjoy each other’s company.

From there we went to the grocery store (boo-yah for getting that done early in the weekend) and came back to relax before heading out to dinner.

I love this kind of Saturday.  It’s almost the opposite of my other favorite way to spend a free Saturday: get up; go for coffee, a bagel, and some reading at my favorite coffee shop/bookstore; head to yoga; come home and relax. I love being a morning person and heading out before the hustle and bustle of the day.

But there’s also something to be said for just going with the flow.  In just doing what you feel like doing, when you feel like doing it.  Not because you feel like you should do something just because you can or because it’s a cool thing to do.  No, if you don’t feel like it, don’t.

We’ll see what type of Saturday we feel like when we wake up on our next free one in two weeks. I’m going to remember the joy we had in this type of Saturday and not put pressure on myself to do something just for the sake of doing something.

How do you like to spend a Saturday? Do you feel pressure to go-go-go or are you more go with the flow?

 

[two questions] tv edition

Posted on by jplatt27

I’m so excited for new seasons of the fall shows to start back up so I thought I’d do today’s two questions about TV.

What TV shows do you watch together?

“Our” shows include Parenthood, Scandal, Newsroom (first season just ended),  and How I Met Your Mother.  We’ll watch the new episodes together usually on DVR as soon as we can after they air.  And we won’t watch without each other. I feel like HIMYM is pretty popular with people our age so I don’t really need to hype that one up too much.  But seriously, I’d highly recommend you check out Parenthood and Scandal.

We also love Modern Family but we’re a season behind–first disc of season three arrives from Netflix today! That show makes us crack up. Literally Mike laughs out loud.  I’m almost ready to laugh out loud thinking about how hard he laughs during the show. One of the lines that really got him was when they were in Hawaii and Manny and Luke were rooming together and Manny said something to Luke about how there was pee all over and did he pee with his eyes closed.  To which Luke responds: “I was brushing my teeth at the same time.”  Mike literally busted out laughing over that line.  Like full body laughter on the couch.  Priceless.

Other shows we love but aren’t as religious about include Law & Order: SVU and Criminal Minds.

What TV programs have you started to enjoy as a result of your relationship?

I’ve started to appreciate documentaries and specials about the political process and history.

When I asked Mike this question, he looked at me with a smirk.  “You don’t have any?” I said.  More or less.

But he will tolerate some reality TV shows I watch like the Kardashians.  We’ve also watched Army Wives together.  And Mike does admit to getting into a few seasons of The Biggest Loser.

Mike did turn his nose up to Law & Order: SVU when I suggested it to him in college.  Luckily, he quickly caught on.  Same thing happened with Criminal Minds and now they are both shows we always look for in the guide.  (Side note: Remember what life was like before the guide?  Wow.  And DVR?  We’ve come so far.)

Talk to me!

First things first: any Parenthood or Scandal fans out there?

How would you answer the questions above?