Category: on life

A good day.

Posted on by Kelsey Leetzow

Today is a good day.

It’s 7:16 am and it’s a good day.

It was a good day when I woke up this morning.

What I mean when I say that it’s a good day is that my anxiety is low today. I woke up feeling content with my life. When I woke up at 6:30, it was the first time I’d woken up since I went to bed at 10:30. That is huge for me.

Of course, I want to know, start to speculate why it’s a good day. Is it because I’ve written for the last three days, now four?

When I started morning pages, that was the case. By day three the internal cadence in my mind was much slower.

This morning is great because I’m not worrying about what should I do when I get out of bed, not worrying about friends, family, etc. Not worrying about work or when I should take my business full-time or what the next step of my business is, even. Or what I will have for lunch or breakfast – maybe that’s the key – having food on hand.

I’m just here. Content. I put the coffee on. I did a little questioning about whether or not to get back in bed and decided that I could wake up on the couch. I did get back in for a few minutes and then my allergies forced me out. I’m glad. A few quiet minutes to myself in the morning reading is good for my soul.

And now I’m writing again.

Writing is my communion. It’s what I need to do to be in relationship with myself.

I don’t have to know where these words will ultimately end up.

Why do I worry so much about the longevity of things? What if I thought of my words like I thought about nail polish? Pretty and what I’m in the mood for now? You don’t sit to get your nails done and think they’ll last longer than they will. What if my words don’t have to apply forever, they just have to be true today?

Speaking of the longevity of things, of course, one of my thoughts about the good day today, one of the reasons I want to know why today is a good day, is so that I can replicate it tomorrow. And the next day. And have fewer and fewer whatever-the-opposite-of-this-feeling-is days in the future.

But here’s another way to handle the good days – ENJOY THEM. That’s an option. I don’t have to dissect it, analyze it, look at it from all angles to figure out the one thing that’s contributing the most to this feeling. Maybe I can just be in it. Right now. This feels good. Mmm, this still feels good. Why make a project out of the good times? Why not just enjoy them?

 

be where you are

Posted on by jplatt27

I’ve written before about being where you are. About the power of being in the moment that you’re in.

It hit me recently that this applies to life too.

We can get so caught up worrying about or looking forward to the next thing. The next phase. When will we get there? How will we get there? Why aren’t we there yet?

For me, this has shown up as when will I find my dream job? When will we get married? When will we have enough money to buy a house? Where should we buy said house? When will we have kids? And on and on and on.

But here’s the thing…life is good now. Without the future things, life is still good. And in all the seasons before now when I worried about the next thing, life was good. Filled with good people and good things and opportunities to learn and grow. Things that will prepare us for the next season and others that may not be available to us when we get there.

And in worrying about when we should have a baby and stressing about when we’ll be able to buy a house and where it should be when that time comes, we miss this season and all the good things in it.

They say “life is what happens when you’re busy planning.” So, be where you are. No matter the season, be where you are. Enjoy its goodness. Relish in the little things, and the big things, that are good right now. 

 

 

A note on boundaries

Posted on by jplatt27
I’ve never had strong boundaries. Never really knew what my boundaries were until someone stepped over them and I didn’t like it. (Those people/experiences are gifts because they pointed out one of my boundaries.) Through coaching I realized that I have a boundary issue. Issue might be a strong word but boundaries are something I could work on, a muscle I can build.
So when Caroline recommended this book about boundaries I ordered it immediately. There are so many great nuggets of wisdom in here but there’s one in particular I’ve been thinking about since.
A big part of boundaries is taking responsibility for what you’re responsible for and letting other people take responsibility for what they are responsible for. 
Woah. That blew my mind.
I often feel the weight of the world on my shoulders – feeling solely responsible for an entire project at work or like I’ve got to make things happen with family or friends – so this was a HUGE ah-ha moment for me. I’ve been trying to remind myself of this since and when I do, it lifts a little bit of weight off of me.
I hope it’s a good reminder for you too so I’ll say it again.
A big part of boundaries is taking responsibility for what you’re responsible for and letting other people take responsibility for what they are responsible for. 

a milestone

Posted on by jplatt27

In a few minutes, I’ll lead my first coaching group call. I feel like I’m on the edge of something really big. Something that marks the beginning of something really great and new. The realization of a dream I’ve been working toward for 2 years. I want to take a minute to take it all in. I want to acknowledge all of the love that has gotten me to this point.

It started with my friends not laughing when I timidly tested the waters of this crazy thing by saying “I think I want to be a coach” before I really even knew what coaching was.

My family and Mike’s family not really knowing what coaching was or how the heck it’d ever pay my bills but going along with it anyway.

It was colleagues at my full-time job checking in to see how things were going and asking me to bring my skills to our full-time work.

My husband who has supported this big crazy dream emotionally and financially through the intense highs and lows, times of self-confidence and extreme bouts of self-doubt.

The coaches in my cohort that acknowledged my wide range of emotions as a gift for the first time, and lauded me for it.

The teachers that encouraged me to tap into my intuition and empathy–one of the biggest strengths I bring to my coaching practice.

Friends, coworkers, and strangers that let me practice on them.

My first clients that trusted me to help them believe in themselves.

It was big things like these words from my mom when I started doubting and questioning that this whole dream would even work: “Oh, it will work. Coaching works. You’re different now because of it.”

But it was smaller things too. Like Facebook likes. Or someone saying “that’s great!” when I shared literally the smallest possible advancement in this.

I can’t tell you how all of these doses of encouragement impacted me.

Thank you, all of you.

now things

Posted on by jplatt27

There are so many things we want to do in life: jobs we want to have, vacations to take, relationships to have, things to own. And we tend to want all of the things. Right. Now.

Pressure to have and do all of things makes life so much less fun. Takes away from the joy of right now.

Learning to decide what’s a now thing, an idea or a goal that you want to pursue in this season, and which are visions for the future is one of the most powerful and freeing things we can learn.

Often things we want from a well-meaning, genuine place become “shoulds” and we beat ourselves up for not having enough or doing enough. When our desires become our self judgements, they lose something. Their power becomes evil. When this happens it drains our mental, emotional, creative energy that we could be using to fuel our now things.

So tell me, what are your now things and what are your future things?

For me, my now things are living fully in DC, learning to take really good care of myself, and paying off my student loans. My future things are being a mom and a full-time coach.

P.S. You don’t deserve to feel shitty.

 

what i’m learning about sports

Posted on by jplatt27

For as long as I’ve known Mike, he’s been a huge Philadelphia sports fan. Between the Flyers, Eagles, and Phillies we’re always in-season for one of the sports. When we moved in together, one of the most notable things was how much he watches sports. If it’s not an actual game, it’s what we’ve come to call “talking about sports”: Mike and Mike, SportsCenter, Pardon the Interruption, pre- and post-game coverage. In the car we frequently stream Philly sports talk and Mike will also listen to it on his morning and evening bus rides. And though he’s normally a pretty calm, steady guy, that all goes out the window when the Flyers or Eagles are on. The hootin’ and hollerin’ is really something else. It got so bad one time, I was afraid he was going to get so riled up he was going to throw the remote or something and ruin our new TV.

So given all of this, I never really got it. And now, almost 6 years later, I get it.

Sports give you something to be a part of, something bigger than yourself. They bring commaraderie among fans, across generations, and can even bond people through mutual hatred of other teams. One of the most basic human needs is to be a part of a tribe. Being a sports fan is a great example of that.

Sports are an emotional roller coaster and allow you to feel your full range of emotions in a way that isn’t socially acceptable in many other contexts. From an amazing goal to a devastating loss, sports give you permission to openly feel and express it all – joy, anger, and sadness.

It’s home. It’s comfort. It’s the annual hope that this could finally be the year that your team, your city, wins it all.

Are you a sports fan? What about it draws you in?

to have and to hold

Posted on by jplatt27
I’m on an airplane, heading to Iowa for a friend’s wedding. There’s a little boy in front of me, maybe three years old. He’s wearing footie pajamas and it’s clear he’s getting a little restless. It’s almost 10pm. Aww, do you want to sit on my lap? I wonder. It’d be so nice to hold a little kid in my arms.

And then this big, emotional thought hits me. Someday, I could have a little boy like that. And not only will he be mine and sweet and cuddly. But he will be Mike’s. The thought of having a little Mike to hold overwhelms me, fills my body with this deep emotion that I’ve never connected before.

I love holding my husband. Cuddling, hugging, holding hands. Being able to hold a smaller human that’s part Mike is almost too much to handle. The joy that will come of that fills my heart so much. I want to wrap my arms around this person and surround them with all the love in my heart the way I want to do/try to do with Mike, their future dad.

It feels like my heart is expanding in my chest to make room for this possibility, this reality. My throat starts to choke up because the depth of this is unspeakable.

When I think about having a baby, I always think about him or her as mine. I think about how Mike will be as a dad. How I’ll fall in love with him all over again when I see him holding our baby. But putting together how that baby will be part of my husband, will be his too, is a thought I’ve never consciously had before.

Tears stream down my face as I think about how special that will be. How amazing. The love I have for my husband and this future little person, little version of him, I’m not sure I’ve ever felt anything like it.

Is this what Mike’s mom feels when she says she’s ready for grandchildren? Is this the feeling she’s looking forward to? If so, no wonder.

I think I’m starting to get it. That though kids come with so much uncertainty, so much risk, so many things you can’t protect them from, they are an expression of love. To create a child in that image, from that space, that place of love, has got to be unlike anything else in the world.

I’m looking forward to experiencing these things some day.

don’t cry. don’t say that.

Posted on by jplatt27

I’m a crier. I’ve always been a crier and will always be a crier. I cry in conversations with friends, I cry at commercials. I’ve cried at work, and in yoga class, and in church. This is all pretty normal for me.

So take it from me, when someone is crying, the last thing they want to hear someone say is “don’t cry.” Please don’t say that. It doesn’t do anything for the person crying. When you say that, it cuts off the connection.

When someone is crying, you don’t necessarily have to say anything. When someone is crying, you don’t necessarily have to do anything.

The best thing you can do for a person crying is hold space for their tears.

Tears are sacred. Don’t be scared of them. Let them come. And let yourself be present for the person shedding them, whether that’s you, a loved one, or a stranger.

 

P.S. A beautiful little short on the power of empathy. Please watch this.

 

a quote to help with uncertainty

Posted on by jplatt27

I’ve been feeling a little uncertain about my career and purpose lately (read: since college) so this quote, shared in my Desire Map Book Club Facebook group, really resonated with me. I read it and felt like it was written just for me. If you’ve been feeling uncertain or anxious, I hope you find comfort in it too.

Sending so much love,
Joanna

“Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”  ~Rainer Maria Rilke

choc. chip cookies and basketball tickets

Posted on by jplatt27

cookie box 2

Earlier this week, I made cookies for colleagues that took time to speak to the Lafayette students I hosted for an externship (essentially a job shadow). I packed them up in little boxes that I got at Target and delivered them with a handwritten thank you note.

I was surprised at how touched my colleagues were by this gesture. I got so many thank you’s for my thank you. But it was more than that. It seemed like it really touched their hearts.

Then, my heart was really touched when I was on the receiving end of a gesture like that…

On Tuesday afternoon, I got an email from a colleague in athletics:

Joanna, Good afternoon. Would you like two tickets to the Men’s Basketball game tomorrow night? Let me know if you’d like them and I’ll place them at will call for you.

My colleague didn’t explicitly say that this was a “thank-you” but regardless I was touched by this generosity. By his thinking of me and taking time out of his day to do this for me.

These experiences got me thinking about gratitude and connection. I think people just want to know they’re valued. And to have that expressed with a gesture like cookies was really nice. To be offered basketball tickets totally out of the blue (I’ve never been to a game!) was an acknowledgement of respect. These little things go a really long way.

Talk to me:

Have you been acknowledged or thanked recently in a way that really touched your heart?

Is there someone in your life that you’d like to thank?