Category: on life

thinking about resolutions? i’ve got a question for you

Posted on by jplatt27

Hiiiii!!!!

Ahhh, how are you?? It’s so good to see you! {{{ HUG }}} {{{ BIG HUG }}} Mmm. It’s good to be back. And I’m glad you’re here too. I’m a happy camper.

So much talk about resolutions lately. I don’t really have much to say on the topic. I’m feeling kind of meh about the whole thing.

So let’s talk about you instead. I’ve got a message for you spurred by a conversation with a client.

Client: “I’m just not good at not being myself.”

Me, in my head, sarcastically: “Really?? I wonder why?”

But in all seriousness, if that isn’t a universal truth, I don’t know what is. We all suck at not being ourselves.

The good news is that we don’t need to be anyone but ourselves. That does, however, require a little bit of courage. But you can do it. And you’re worth it.

As you think about your resolutions and your hopes for 2014, let me ask you this:

what will you do to be you this year?

how will you shine brightly as your authentic self this year?

 

P.S. If you are making resolutions…here’s a post about making them stick >>>

my favorite feeling recently

Posted on by jplatt27

I missed my bus stop the other day after work because I was thinking about all the things I was grateful for that day.

  • How it was so nice to sit outside at happy hour
  • How it was great to laugh with strangers at the bus stop when a bus pulled up and we didn’t know what it was and the bus driver looked at us like we were crazy
  • How it was so silly when my boss and two coworkers broke out singing a Backstreet Boys song in unison
  • How it was so nice to have Mike’s brother visit the weekend before

“Hmm, I like this. Maybe I should use my evening bus ride every day to think about things I’m grateful for.”

“Oh, wow, look at how beautiful the sun is shining on the Cathedral. Oh, I have some really great friends that I love.”

Next thing I knew the doors closed at my stop and I was still perfectly comfortable in my seat.

As I got off at the next stop, I was so happy. I love getting lost in feelings of joy and gratitude. It’s peaceful. I like losing track of time because I’m so caught up in the moment. I felt connected to myself and to the people that I love. Ironically, I felt grounded.

That was my favorite feeling in the last couple weeks.

This post was inspired by a prompt from the amazing, inspirational Danielle LaPorte and her Desire Map for Life Column. 

P.S. Another great bus ride.

 

feeling fear

Posted on by jplatt27

I’ve been feeling really scared lately. I’m scared to start my business. I’m scared to put myself out there. What if it doesn’t work? What if I can’t support myself through coaching? I feel extremely vulnerable because my business is me, is my heart. And if that’s rejected…woah. That. is. risky.

It’s amazing how things connect and work out. I remember in the first weekend of coach training, we had to pick a word from a list of self-doubts that described us. I struggled with this and felt like none of the words really represented me–I could counter them pretty easily.

But we had to pick one for the exercise so I picked fearful.

I’m just now realizing how deep my fear runs. On the surface, I’m not super scared. Fearful isn’t a word I’d use to describe myself.  But deep down, I feel fear and that fear feels really really real. It’s a pit in my stomach. One that’s been fired up for weeks now.

It’s distracting. It makes me want the comfort of home, of my mom and my siblings and my in-laws. It’s brought lots and lots of tears. It’s made me lose sleep, lose my appetite. I’m feeling antsy and physically weak. I literally want to run and hide.

The first step in moving through this is acknowledging it. Is admitting that I feel extremely scared and vulnerable. Even in writing this post, my fear is bubbling up. It’s thinking “no, don’t admit to having this. don’t hit publish.” It knows, and I know, that in writing about this, the fear will lose some of its power over me.

Thanks for reading.

Have you ever felt extremely scared or vulnerable? How did you move through it?

play? what does that mean?

Posted on by jplatt27

I’ve been struggling lately. Anxiety at an all-time high. Panic attacks. Weeping like I’ve never wept before (though that seems to have subsided, thankfully). I actually didn’t even realize that what I’ve been experiencing is anxiety because the dry mouth, night sweats, lack of appetite in the morning, and crazy intense feeling in my solar plexus that I’ve been having are not my usual anxiety symptoms.

That’s why I haven’t posted in a while.

I googled “anxiety cures” the other day, and after finding a bunch of random things that were both a little tempting and a little scary/seemingly scammy, I came across this article. Charlie says that he cured his anxiety through play.

“Huh,” I thought. “That’s interesting.”

Why not try it? What do I have to lose? I could use a little more fun in my life.

This begs the question…

What does play mean to me?

I talked to my coach about it and here’s what I’ve come up with:

  • Biking–a few years ago my friend Jen was in DC for the weekend and we rented bikes. At the end of our ride we biked up this steep hill and I just remember peddling my heart out. I was grinning from ear to ear and surprised and how amazingly fun it was. I biked all the time as a kid and LOVED it.
  • Coloring/doodling/drawing
  • Body Combat–I was a regular at Body Combat before my wedding and again, this is one of those activities that leaves me with a goofy grin on my face. The class just makes me feel so powerful and fierce; it really is FUN.
  • Dancing
  • Yoga
  • Frisbee toss with Mike
  • Long walks
  • Painting

I’m trying to think of more things and add more play into my life. I’m not going to lie, sometimes thinking about play fires up my anxiety. It scares me a little bit. It’s almost like I’m afraid of what might come up when I settle in and let myself enjoy it.

It’s funny, my friend Allie and I went on a hike yesterday and then settled in with a bottle of wine at a nearby vineyard. Immediately I started to feel guilty. Like I shouldn’t be doing this. I should be working or doing something.  I told Allie that I felt like I didn’t deserve this goodness, this relaxation. She said “But you do. Doesn’t everyone?” I nodded and thought “of course.”

So that’s what I’m working on lately. Learning how to play. Learning how to settle in and let myself enjoy.

What does play mean to you? What activities allow you to relax and feel joy?

day by day

Posted on by jplatt27


Pacific Ocean

I’m all about creating a life you love, living with intention, having a vision and long term plans. Where do you want to be 6 months from now? 2 years? What do you want your life to look like in 20 years?

Do you have big, crazy, dreams? Cool. Let’s make that happen.

The last two weeks, I’ve been having a really hard time. Struggling internally at an intensity I’ve never experienced before. Extreme anxiety, lots and lots and lots of tears. I’m ok. Everything is OK. It’s just something I have to work through.

But in an email to a friend this morning, I wrote “Can you say a prayer for me?” When I remembered that this afternoon, I thought, wow.

So while I’m all for big plans and visions and making things happen, this experience has taught me that sometimes you just need to take things day by day.

And that’s OK.

a lesson from wine country

Posted on by jplatt27

wine glasses

One of the biggest things I took away from wine country was that it’s about what you like. Often, our friends would love a wine and I wouldn’t understand the hype or I’d love a wine and they didn’t care for it. But we were told over and over that it’s about what you like. Your taste is your taste and you like what you like.

It was challenging to remember at times. I’d get caught up comparing myself to other people in our group with stronger, more refined palates. I’d wonder why I wasn’t loving the wines that they loved. Why I didn’t enjoy this wine that was so complex and such a treat that every else bought bottles of it. Why do I love this seriously sweet wine that everyone else thinks is too much? Is something wrong with me? But the sommeliers assured us over and over that it’s about what you like.

I think this is a good metaphor for life. We all like different things and at different intensities, and that’s OK.

reflections on daring greatly: my vulnerability armor

Posted on by jplatt27

In her book, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, Brene Brown describes the different ways we arm ourselves against vulnerability.

Here’s one:

“The Shield: Numbing.

If you’re wondering if this section is about addiction and you’re thinking This isn’t about me, please read on. This is about all of us. First, one of the most universal numbing strategies is what I call crazy-busy.”

Oh my God, that’s me.

She continues:

“I often say that when they start having twelve-step meetings for busy-aholics, they’ll need to rent out football stadiums. We are a culture of people who’ve bought into the idea that if we stay busy enough, the truth of our lives won’t catch up with us.”

This was a big ah-ha moment for me and made me take a step back and think about things. I’ve spent most of my life over-scheduled, always go-go-go-go-go. When I read this I was like “ooohhhhh, that makes sense.”

And here’s the result:

“I believe we all numb our feelings. We may not do it compulsively or chronically, which is addiction, but that doesn’t mean we don’t numb our sense of vulnerability. And numbing vulnerability is especially debilitating because it doesn’t just deaden the pain of our difficult experiences; numbing vulnerability also dulls our experiences of love, joy, belonging, creativity, and empathy.”

Woah. Don’t want to do that anymore.

So yeah, this was a powerful section of the book for me. For someone that believes that she does feel her feelings and that they don’t do things to numb emotions, this was a big wake up call.

Does this resonate with you? I’d love to hear from some others like me!

Have you read Daring Greatly? What are you taking away? What vulnerability armor are you carrying?

 

lessons from yoga: lateness and compassion

Posted on by jplatt27

I went to a lunchtime yoga class on Friday. The class was pretty filled and as we started our practice with breathing, someone came in late. The instructor was expecting one more and knew exactly where she’d place her mat. She took the yogi’s mat from her and placed it in her spot. The woman apologized for being late and the instructor responded: “It’s ok. We’re all late sometimes.”

As I witnessed this, tears started to form in my eyes. The way the instructor had compassion and was welcoming to a late-comer, helping her get settled quickly and fit right in really touched me. She could’ve been annoyed, ignored the woman and continued teaching. But she chose differently. In that moment, she chose love and compassion.

That morning I walked into a meeting 15 minutes late. A meeting with an external consultant in the nice conference room. I missed my normal bus that morning and honestly, I had forgotten about the meeting so I wasn’t even able to give notice that I was on my way. I felt very bad walking in late and apologized to the consultant when we were leaving. I sensed some emotion in her eyes but couldn’t make out what it was–frustration, sympathy, compassion.  She commented that she was looking at my LuLu Lemon water bottle and the quotes all over it. We left the room and I still felt a little uncomfortable.

In yoga, I felt like the instructor was talking to me when she said “It’s ok. We’re all late sometimes.”

even members of congress have gremlins

Posted on by jplatt27

A Mindful Nation

We all have gremlins, inner critics that tell us we’re not good enough. When I read the passage below in Congressman Tim Ryan’s book A Mindful Nation, I thought “he’s describing his gremlin.”

“The thoughts continued to be judgmental and critical. In fact, they were mean. It became apparent to me that such thoughts tend to recur. They can be like background noise. I had just never noticed them. As they revealed themselves to me, I realized I could be terribly hard on myself. I could judge myself with a level of cruelty I wouldn’t inflict on my worst enemy. I could get stuck in a thought-loop of questioning past decisions or regretting remarks I made or lines in speeches I’d given. It was repeated pressure, always self-imposed. I thought I was kind, compassionate, and considerate. It turns out that was true only if I was dealing with someone other than myself. But toward myself I could be cruel, unforgiving, dissatisfied, manipulative, mean-spirited, and needlessly judgmental. I started to think about my new nephew and how I would never treat him this way. Toward everyone else I was the nice guy; to myself I was the town asshole.” ~Tim Ryan, A Mindful Nation 

Yep, that’s the gremlin in a nutshell.

(If you haven’t met my gremlin Janice, you can read about her here.)

Yesterday’s post went up late in the day, so if you missed it, read it here.