Category: Twenty-something

the worst part of being an adult

Posted on by jplatt27

The real world.  We’ve all got to enter it at some point.  It includes bill paying, work, finding a new identity that’s not student, and while all of that has its challenges, none of these are the worst part of being an adult.

Let me explain…

….

It’s about noon on Sunday and my best friends from college and I are sprawled across two beds in the hotel room we shared after LEM‘s bachelorette party wishing we could all go back to sleep for about 4 more hours.  We were out til 4am, drinking and dancing up a storm.  Our heads hurt and we’re so tired. But as I cuddle and chat with my best friends, all 6 of us together, this warm loving feeling spreads over me and I say “isn’t life just so good right now?” They all laugh because it’s ridiculous–we’re exhausted and the room is spinning a bit–but I know deep down they all agree.

….

It’s a Sunday breakfast that turns into three hours over coffee and crepes, a lunch date that leaves you bouncing into your office, a happy hour that turns into dinner and a bottle of wine and not getting home until 10:30 on a Monday.

….

It’s a text message telling you about a DC pizza place on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives or an email mid-day Wednesday asking how the week is going.

….

Yes, these are some of the best things in life.

But they point to the worst thing about being an adult: there’s never enough time for friends. 

And maybe the flip side of that is realizing how valuable these people are.  And finally learning to shift your priorities to make time for them.  Because they are everything.

 

Talk to me: what do you think is the worst part of being an adult?

growing pains

Posted on by jplatt27

I’m back to my normal self after a week of grumpiness! Or at least I can feel my normal happy self peaking back through.

I spent most of my free time last week vegging in front of the TV, laying in bed, or reading the book Fury: True Tales of a Good Girl Gone Ballistic which I’m absolutely loving.

It’s weird, sometimes I want to punch something and feel very angry and then I’ll just feel full of love and want to hug everyone.  Very strange oscillation.

I think my life coach training stirred up some emotions and feelings that I didn’t even realize I had pushed down and pushed down and now they’re bubbling up.  They want to come out.

I’m calling them growing pains and trying to just feel the pain, to let myself experience the anger, love, sadness so that I can move past it.

You know when you clean or organize your room, it gets so much messier before it gets better?  I think that’s what’s this experience is going to be like. A little crazy and tiring during the process but then so satisfying and peaceful when you’re done.

I’d love to know:

Have you ever had growing pains? I had some serious growing pains after my wedding.  Remember when I picked up my wedding dress? After I allowed myself to process them, I was able to move past them. 

 

 

 

 

mad

Posted on by jplatt27

I’m so mad.

I’m not mad at a specific person or thing, in fact I can’t really pinpoint exactly what’s making me feel this way but for the past 5 days or so I’ve been so mad.

I have this anger that is bubbling up from deep within me, a rage I can’t place and haven’t really been able to release.

On Saturday I went to yoga knowing that it would make me feel better even though I just wanted to get back in bed and sleep all day. I went, I felt good, and then as we were walking to the car I said to Mike “I’m so mad right now.” I was stewing for the ride home.  Walking to our apartment I said “Grr.  I’m so angry. I just want to punch something.”  We kind of laughed because this is so unlike me and it’s comical that I feel this so deeply and don’t know where it’s coming from.  Mike held a pillow for me and I punched it.  A lot.  And quickly.  Then he started laughing because this is kind of silly and ridiculous, but I wasn’t done, I still wanted to punch more and I started crying and he hugged me. I felt better.

Yesterday I woke up and by 7am I was already feeling really mad again.  I decided I would get back in bed and sleep this mood off.  I woke up again, felt better, and went to Eastern Market with a friend. Within about 15 minutes of being home, the anger was back. I showered, put on my robe and sat grumpily in front of the TV.  I didn’t want to watch anything.  I didn’t want to read. I didn’t want to write. I didn’t even want to take a nap.  I got in bed to watch TV and then thought maybe I could release some anger by screaming into a pillow. I rolled over, put my head into my pillow, and screamed.  It felt really silly.  It didn’t sound like what I thought it would sound like. But I did it again. Within about 10 minutes I felt better.

This morning I woke up my normal happy self and went to the gym.  I’m going to start my week off on the right foot, I thought.  But as I got going on the elliptical the anger slowly started to bubble up.  And here I am, it’s 7am and I’m so mad.  So so mad.  And I’m still not sure where the heck this is coming from. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

In my life coach training they said that sometimes people in anger need to stay in anger for a while.  I’m going to try to just sit in my anger for a while when it comes up.  Fighting the anger certainly doesn’t help.

And I try to honor my body and my emotions instead of pushing them down. I’m not going to tell myself not to be angry.  It’s a fact I’m mad right now.  It’s ok.  It’s super uncomfortable though so maybe I’ll try one of the pillow techniques again before I go to work.

That’s where I’m at.  And I’m telling you this because 1) it helps me to write about it and 2) this anger is the reason I haven’t been posting.  I have so many things I want to write about like our new division of labor and some big dreams I have and the worst part of being an adult. I even have a giveaway lined up! But it’s kind of difficult to write from the heart, to write authentically and with passion about love, marriage, dreams, happiness, and friendship in my usual upbeat tone when I’m ridiculously mad.

So please bear with me while I go through this weird phase.

And now for a weird change of events/mood: I googled “bear with me v. bare with me” and found that it is the former as “bare with me” would be “an invitation to undress” (source). And now I just want to start giggling. And I’m feeling light and happy.  Bare with me, hahaha.  Hahahahaha.

Until the next time my anger bubbles up,

Lots and lots and lots of love,

Jo

 

an honor and a privilege

Posted on by jplatt27

One of the best things in life is witnessing, sharing, and celebrating the love and happiness of people that mean the world to you.

I spent the weekend doing just that at my friend Lauren’s wedding. Alongside our best friends from college, I had the privilege to be a bridesmaid and partake in all of the wedding festivities.  It was truly an honor to share this special day with my friend and see the love and joy that surrounded her up close. Thank you, LEM, for this very special experience.

 

PS–I’m guest posting over at Perfection Isn’t Happy today while Emily is on her honeymoon! Check it out!

 

 

honoring myself through my morning "routine"

Posted on by jplatt27

Good morning!

I LOVE the morning.  It’s my favorite time of the day.  The day ahead has so much promise, there’s quiet before the hustle and bustle of the day begins.  I love being in my car on the way to the gym while no one is on the road yet.  It’s quiet and I’m alone with my thoughts.  This is my “me time.”

While I’ve never had a morning routine per say–sometimes I dry my hair and then pick my outfit, sometimes I pack my lunch before getting ready–I used to do almost the same thing most mornings a week: get up, go to the gym, come back, shower, breakfast, Today Show, get ready, make lunch, go to work.

Recently though, I’ve been spending my mornings a little differently.  I’m doing what I like to call “what I feel like, when I feel like.” Most mornings I get up between 5:45 and 6:15ish and most mornings I have chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. But other than that, I’m just listening to my body and mind to decide what I want to do and then honoring that.

Some mornings it means going to the gym and zoning out on the elliptical.  Other mornings it means busting through a serious strength training routine.

Some mornings it means doing chores like laundry or dishes.  One morning recently I got up and made this quinoa! Another Monday, I got up and went grocery shopping.

Some mornings I just want to veg on the couch so I’ll zone out in front of the Kardashians.  Other mornings, I’ll crawl back into bed for 20 minutes after breakfast and nap or read.

Some mornings I’ll blog or work or check email. One morning while we were house-sitting I got off the metro and walked in the direction opposite my office, went to Starbucks and sat and wrote for 15-20 minutes in my journal.

I love this.  I love easing my way into the day on my own terms, in my own way.  There aren’t many hours each day that are “mine” and I’m relishing this time of using these hours to relax and do what I want to do.  It’s like I’ve added a little piece of weekend to each of my days.  Yes, there’s a part of me feels like I should get back into a more regular gym routine.  And when my body tells me that’s what it wants, that’s what I’ll do.

But for now, I’m loving my non-routine.  I’m honoring my self, my body, and my mind in this small way every day.  And it feels so good.  Isn’t this what life is all about?

First a question or two, then a request.

How do you spend your mornings? What’s your “me time”?

Find a way to honor a piece of yourself–however small or however selfish it might feel.  Indulge in it.  Relish it.  And then, do it again.

 

falling is not failing

Posted on by jplatt27

Last night I went to my favorite yoga class and during the balance track, I was reminded of something I’ve been wanting to share for a while.

It must’ve been a year and half ago that I heard this phrase during a balance pose. It brought tears to my eyes that first time because of the pure truth of it.  And it’s stuck with me ever since.

Falling is not failing.

Falling is not failing.

Though the balance poses are seemingly simple and don’t require much physical strength or stamina, they can be very challenging.  Sometimes you’ll lose balance or focus and start to wobble a little bit but catch yourself.  Other times, you’ll topple over and touch the ground.  But if you keep at it, you’ll find your way.

But touching down on the ground is not failure.  It means you pushed yourself, it means you tried.  If you didn’t try, you couldn’t fall. If you didn’t try at all, you wouldn’t find the pose.

In life, we all fall sometimes. But when we do, it’s important to remember that falling is not failing.

When it comes to my career I toppled over quite a bit on the way to finding my balance.

For as long as I can remember I wanted to be a teacher.  I taught right out of undergrad and lasted three months. My life long dream of changing the world one child at a time lasted all of three months.  I couldn’t do it. I quit before Thanksgiving of my first year.

I started at my current job in the development office of a university here in DC shortly after.  Within six months, cubicle life started to weigh on me. While I enjoyed my job and the people around me, I knew I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to be doing and I was constantly on a search to figure out what I was going to “be.” Part of me still couldn’t believe that I wasn’t a teacher.

Though I never wanted to go back to teaching, teaching/educating/inspiring people was an integral part of me. I explored options within my current field while at the same time taking classes with my tuition benefit. I started down the path to become a career counselor and finished a group of courses on the subject.  I applied for a Master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. I didn’t get in.  While of course it stung to get rejected, part of me was relieved.

But I was stumped.  Now what? Over the next year or so I grappled with what to do. I decided I’d try a course in the business school. I always thought an MBA would be practical and that I’d be interested in it.  It’s versatile.  Why not? I was able to take a class without being admitted into the program so I dipped my toe in the water with a course on organizations and leadership. While I thought the course was interesting when class was in session, it was literally like pulling teeth to get me to start on assignments. I felt an overwhelming amount of stress from one class that was really not that difficult.  Something about it just didn’t sit right with me.  When I decided to drop the class I’d enrolled in for the second half of the semester, I was immensely relieved.  Huge weight off my shoulders.

And now, after falling a handful of times over the last four years, I’ve finally found the right fit: I am a life coach.  Now that I’ve found it, it makes complete sense.  All of the things I tried up to this point had aspects of coaching in it but none were exactly what I wanted. And so, after a while, I’d topple.

But not now.  Not this time. With life coaching, it’s like I’m beaming in star pose.  This feels completely right.  I start my formal training next weekend and I couldn’t be more excited.  I’ve already done a bunch of lengthy assignments for the program and while they were challenging, they never felt like work.

It wasn’t easy to get here.  In front of family, friends, and co-workers, it seemed like I toppled over arms flailing again and again. I fell so many times.

But you know how it feels when you finally nail a pose–like crow pose or something–and though you’re scared to death that you might fall flat on your head if you lose balance, when you find yourself holding the pose, even for five seconds, there’s that elation, that feeling of pure bliss, like wow. You know it?

 source

Yeah, that’s what this feels like.

So no matter what you’re trying to figure out, whether it’s a career or a significant other or a new recipe or a new way with money or whatever, remember falling is not failing.

pro-prozac: my experience with anxiety meds

Posted on by jplatt27

In my Things I’m Afraid to Tell You post, I shared that I recently started taking anxiety medicine.

This was not a decision I made lightly.  In fact, it was one that I avoided for a while. Part of me was in denial and part of me just honestly didn’t know how wide-spread my anxiety was. But now that I’m on the other side of this experience, I want to share my story in hope that it can benefit someone else.

I’ve probably suffered from anxiety for 5 years if not longer.

I’d become very familiar with anxiety–that pain my chest that came with a cloud in my mind.

However, when a therapist told me I had anxiety after listening to me recount stresses from my wedding planning and my struggle to move on from the wedding itself, I totally disagreed with her:

“I don’t have anxiety. Yes I get anxiety but I don’t have it. It’s not a condition.”

She assured me that I did and that medicine would help.  That going on medicine wasn’t a bad thing. I didn’t believe her.  About the anxiety or the medicine.

I didn’t want to go on medicine.  I can manage this myself, I thought–go to the gym regularly, get enough sleep, eat right. I can handle this.

But then my anxiety started to get really bad.  The pains in my chest got more frequent and increased in intensity and when I had them they were the only thing I could focus on.  I wasn’t able to be present in my life.

It was time to consider medication. I had a long, tearful conversation with a friend who had experience with anxiety.

She said she had a good experience on it and that it may help me too.  That there is nothing wrong with being on medication.

“I know you’re right,” I said. But then the tears started as I considered the reality of this and self-doubt started to set in again.  “But, I can handle this myself.  I should be able to handle this myself.”

“Why suffer?” she said.

And I thought “I can help myself.” I hate when people don’t help themselves.

I also had a feeling that things would get better, that while being on medicine I could get my life where I want it to be.

I decided to take control of my life. I’d make an appointment with my doctor and see what she said.

The doctor was more than willing to write me a prescription, ensuring me that I can just test it for a few months and see how I feel and make a more informed decision then.

Though it was something I was afraid to admit to myself and others, I am so glad I made the decision to try it.

Until I started this medication, I had no idea how my anxiety was affecting my life. From work, to leisure, to relationships, my anxiety permeated all aspects of my life. The flare-ups that came in the form of tightness in my chest were actually just a piece of it and I think I only noticed that because it was physically painful and different from my normal experience.  I had no idea that my mind racing constantly was a symptom of my anxiety–that was my “normal.”

Three months later, I can truly say that this medicine has changed my life.

Here’s the simplest way for me to describe the change:

I’ve been having life is good moments so frequently recently.  My outside life hasn’t gotten better since I started the meds; my life has been really good for a while now. The difference is that now I can relish in the thought “life is good” for more than two seconds before it’s pushed out by a myriad of other concerns.

______________

Do I want to be on medicine forever? No.

I hope that when I’m able to align my life with the person I want to be–my true self, that my anxiety will lessen significantly to a point where I can manage occasional bouts of anxiety with regular stress relieving techniques.

But right now, this is what I need. And to be my real self, that’s what I want.

______________

If you want to know more, please don’t hesitate to email me thingsafterrings {at} gmail {dot} com. 

what i'm up to…

Posted on by jplatt27

In my post on having a baby last week, I mentioned that I’m pretty much not ready to have a baby because I’m really enjoying focusing on myself right now.  Here’s what I’m up to…

Things After the Rings

Obviously.  I love writing and often find my mind wandering to potential blog posts.  I’m having fun with my blog and have so many things I’d like to do to continue to improve it.

Prepping for life coach training

I start a life coach training program at the end of July (can. not. wait!) and I’ve been busy doing some pre-work for it including a 27-page questionnaire about my life and a book report.

Business course

I’m enrolled in Ramit‘s Earn 1K course about making money on the side through freelance work.

Starting a business

The reason I’m enrolled in Earn 1K is because I’m in the process of starting a life coaching business. In addition to learning more about business and reading a lot about life coaching and personal development, I’m also spending significant amounts of time brainstorming ideas for services and packages, ways to find leads and clients, and working on branding.

My day job

I’ve actually become much more engaged in my day job over the last few months and find my mind brainstorming ideas on my own time.

And then there’s life…

In addition to all of these great things, I’m having fun being married, spending time with friends, exploring DC, and just relaxing and enjoying weekends.

 

Creating lives we love

Posted on by jplatt27

Yesterday I hosted my first vision board party.

While planning this party and waiting for RSVPs to come in, I hoped I would get a good turnout and maybe worried I wouldn’t. But then I reminded myself that the women that everyone that was meant to be here would show up.  And I truly believe that’s what happened.

I had a wonderful group of 7 amazing, beautiful, creative women: two friends from work, my Girls on the Run partner, a friend from high school, a friend that’s dating one of my friends from high school, my little from my sorority, and another friend from college.

We spent the afternoon flipping through magazines and gathering images, words, and phrases that inspired us. Then we each organized our clippings onto poster boards to create a vision for our lives.

This is the first step in creating lives we love.

Each board was different: some were vertical, some horizontal; some all words, some all photos. But each board was beautiful and inspiring, and hopeful in its own way.

As we went around sharing key pieces of our boards, I was so touched by what each woman had to share. I’ve known most of the girls for at least a few years at this point and I was still surprised and inspired by what they included on their boards. It was awesome–as in I was literally in awe of the the women, my friends, that came out. The best version of each woman and what the lives the aspire to have.

My heart was. so. happy. Even recalling this now, my heart is swelling with joy.

Thank you again to the girls that came out to support me. You each have a special place in my heart.

I can’t wait to host my next party. Probably late August or early September!

But who knows…it could be sooner!

I’d love to know:

Have you ever made a vision board?

Imagine having a baby

Posted on by jplatt27

Friday night Mike and I were out to dinner and I had this thought “I can’t imagine us having a baby right now.” (Yes, I realize this seems contradictory to what I told you two weeks ago.)

For some reason this image of us carrying a baby in a car seat walking down Barrack’s Row popped into my head as I sat at a high-top table in the window at Matchbox, enjoying a glass a wine across from my husband on a gorgeous Friday evening.

Initial Reactions

OMG, I can’t imagine carrying a baby around, I thought. I can’t imagine having to worry about someone else 24-7.

Half the time I’m too tired to wash the dishes after dinner, where will I find the energy to take care of a baby?

I can hardly get myself together in the morning; I’m always doing a million things. How will I be able to get a baby ready for the day when half the time I’m rushing to get a lunch together before I head out the door. (I almost missed the bus the other day because Justin Beiber was on the Today Show. I mean, hello?! Does that sound like mom material to you? I think not.)

I know that you make room in your life for a baby, that your routine and schedule just shift to make it work. But I don’t want to not be able to do things we like to do because we have a baby and his or her schedule trumps everything.

And no, of course your life doesn’t have to stop when you have a baby. You can still be social and do things, just take the baby with you.

I was actually surprised and inspired by the number of couples I saw with babies strapped on them as we hiked in Great Falls. Yes! I want that to be us.  I want to still be out and about when we have a baby.

I’d love to hold a baby and cuddle with a baby–someone else’s baby that I can give back.  That would be nice.

But having a baby indefinitely… I can’t wrap my head around that.

After thinking about this for almost a week, here’s why…

I enjoy my life as it is right now and feel like I’m on the cusp of some major self discovery. I struggled a lot after college graduation trying to figure everything out and felt very lost at times.  But I’ve learned so much about myself in the last 6-9 months, and am starting to see the light at the end of my quarter-life crisis tunnel. I’m really enjoying this time, being selfish and focusing almost all of my energy on myself and what I want.

When I imagine having a baby, I’m older and have my act together.  I have a solid routine, my apartment is clean. I’m full of energy.  I can stay up til 10. I imagine I’m like 35 or what I think I’ll be when I’m 35: totally with it and put together. I like to feel like I’m with it and put together right now and that I’ve got a lot of things figured out, but where I’m at currently and the level I see myself at when I’m a mom are a few steps apart.

And right now, I’m really enjoying the process of figuring it all out.

_____________________

[as you can imagine I have many more thoughts where these came from…perhaps a part II and even III are in order]