Tag: friends

[two questions] friends in relationships

Posted on by jplatt27

Ooo, it’s tough getting back into the routine after a nice three-day weekend.

I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship recently so I thought friendship in relation to relationships would be a good topic for two questions this week.

How are you a friend to your s.o.?

I’ve been thinking about how to answer this question since I came up with it last night.  I guess the fact that I have to think about it makes it a good question?

Mike and I were friends for almost 5 years before we started dating junior year of high school.  Prior to dating, our friendship consisted mostly of phone conversations and notes back and forth during the school day.  I confided a lot in Mike during this time and always valued the advice he would give me because it was always very selfless.  I’d call him crying over a boy problem and instead of saying “he’s not good for you anyway, you should forget about him and go out with me” he’d console me and give me advice on how to handle the situation.  That’s something I’ll never forget about him and our friendship during those early years.

I think that’s one way we are friends to each other now.  When listening and offering advice and support and helping each other with decisions, I’ll take into consideration what Mike wants and what will make him happy and encourage him to make that decision even if it’s not my first choice.  And Mike will do the same.  As Mike just put it simply: you’ll support even if you disagree.

We’ve also become friends in a more fun sense.  We’ll do things together and spend time together as friends and not necessarily in a romantic way.  Mike will watch the Kardashians if I want to and we spent Sunday morning eating breakfast on the couch and watching a movie even though that’s not really my thing. We’ll go for a frisbee toss, or I’ll join him on a run.

What are your thoughts on couple-friends?

Couple-friends are a win-win!  I get to spend time with my husband and I get to hang out with my friends–two of my favorite things in one.  I love double dates. It’s really fun to be in a social setting with Mike.  While I make a concerted effort to see my friends, I sometimes unintentionally isolate Mike from my girlfriends because I so cherish girl time and then we’re really not in groups of people together very often. Couple friends allow us to be social together.

Friends that are friends with both of us are also amazing.  We don’t have a ton of these but it’s nice to have mutual friends that we both have individual relationships with.  Most of our mutual friends are guys. Not surprising as I sequester my girlfriends to myself.

Talk to me:

How are you a friend to your s.o. or how is your partner a friend to you? I’m honestly still thinking about my answer to this question.  I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what it means to be a friend and so I’m trying to evaluate my answer based on a definition I haven’t yet solidified.  I’m also having a hard time differentiating friend behaviors with husband behaviors–like where is the line? Our relationship is so rooted in friendship that it’s hard to know where one ends and the other begins. 

Thoughts on couple-friends?

 

I’m always open to more questions for two questions on Tuesdays.  Feel free to ask questions in the comments or on my Facebook page.  And if you haven’t done so already, like the page will ya?

the worst part of being an adult

Posted on by jplatt27

The real world.  We’ve all got to enter it at some point.  It includes bill paying, work, finding a new identity that’s not student, and while all of that has its challenges, none of these are the worst part of being an adult.

Let me explain…

….

It’s about noon on Sunday and my best friends from college and I are sprawled across two beds in the hotel room we shared after LEM‘s bachelorette party wishing we could all go back to sleep for about 4 more hours.  We were out til 4am, drinking and dancing up a storm.  Our heads hurt and we’re so tired. But as I cuddle and chat with my best friends, all 6 of us together, this warm loving feeling spreads over me and I say “isn’t life just so good right now?” They all laugh because it’s ridiculous–we’re exhausted and the room is spinning a bit–but I know deep down they all agree.

….

It’s a Sunday breakfast that turns into three hours over coffee and crepes, a lunch date that leaves you bouncing into your office, a happy hour that turns into dinner and a bottle of wine and not getting home until 10:30 on a Monday.

….

It’s a text message telling you about a DC pizza place on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives or an email mid-day Wednesday asking how the week is going.

….

Yes, these are some of the best things in life.

But they point to the worst thing about being an adult: there’s never enough time for friends. 

And maybe the flip side of that is realizing how valuable these people are.  And finally learning to shift your priorities to make time for them.  Because they are everything.

 

Talk to me: what do you think is the worst part of being an adult?

an honor and a privilege

Posted on by jplatt27

One of the best things in life is witnessing, sharing, and celebrating the love and happiness of people that mean the world to you.

I spent the weekend doing just that at my friend Lauren’s wedding. Alongside our best friends from college, I had the privilege to be a bridesmaid and partake in all of the wedding festivities.  It was truly an honor to share this special day with my friend and see the love and joy that surrounded her up close. Thank you, LEM, for this very special experience.

 

PS–I’m guest posting over at Perfection Isn’t Happy today while Emily is on her honeymoon! Check it out!

 

 

Creating lives we love

Posted on by jplatt27

Yesterday I hosted my first vision board party.

While planning this party and waiting for RSVPs to come in, I hoped I would get a good turnout and maybe worried I wouldn’t. But then I reminded myself that the women that everyone that was meant to be here would show up.  And I truly believe that’s what happened.

I had a wonderful group of 7 amazing, beautiful, creative women: two friends from work, my Girls on the Run partner, a friend from high school, a friend that’s dating one of my friends from high school, my little from my sorority, and another friend from college.

We spent the afternoon flipping through magazines and gathering images, words, and phrases that inspired us. Then we each organized our clippings onto poster boards to create a vision for our lives.

This is the first step in creating lives we love.

Each board was different: some were vertical, some horizontal; some all words, some all photos. But each board was beautiful and inspiring, and hopeful in its own way.

As we went around sharing key pieces of our boards, I was so touched by what each woman had to share. I’ve known most of the girls for at least a few years at this point and I was still surprised and inspired by what they included on their boards. It was awesome–as in I was literally in awe of the the women, my friends, that came out. The best version of each woman and what the lives the aspire to have.

My heart was. so. happy. Even recalling this now, my heart is swelling with joy.

Thank you again to the girls that came out to support me. You each have a special place in my heart.

I can’t wait to host my next party. Probably late August or early September!

But who knows…it could be sooner!

I’d love to know:

Have you ever made a vision board?

Sunday in the suburbs

Posted on by jplatt27

Sunday was a simple day and to some it may seem ordinary, but it was the kind of day I’d wished for for a while.

I spent the whole day yesterday with my friend Emily shopping in Rockville, Maryland.  I know, it sounds lame. Why am I writing a post about this?

Because it was wonderful.

Our husbands were playing golf and had an 11:30 tee time so we hit the stores while they hit the links. We stopped for Starbucks before starting at Michael’s and then heading to Ulta, Child’s Play, Buy Buy Baby, World Market, H&M, Target, and Ikea.  Ikea?? I know, right?? We were on a roll.

Reasons this was amazing:

  1. We were shopping for about 6 hours. We got everything done we wanted to do: supplies for a party I’m having this weekend, a gift for a friend’s baby, hair products and clothes for Em’s upcoming vacation, and a new piece of furniture for our kitchen.
  2. We were together one-on-one for 6 hours, just galavanting around.  As an adult how often does that happen?  And because we were together for so long, we were able to talk and talk and talk about topics both big and small—you know, girl talk.
  3. Being in the suburbs is a beautiful thing.  We went to more stores yesterday than I’ve been in the last 2 months. I’m not kidding you.  Part of the reason our apartment isn’t decorated after almost a full year is because getting to stores to buy things for my apartment seems like such a to-do. I know it’s not.  But it feels like such a production.
  4. Emily knew exactly where everything was and I was pretty much just along for the ride.  I said, I want to go here, here, and here and she took me there!  One reason shopping seems like such a production is because I don’t know where any of the stores are and if I’m going to go shopping in the suburbs I feel like I have go to at least 3 stores or it’s not worth the drive. But I would have to map out every stop beforehand and figure out the best route and that totally deters me from the whole thing.  It’s like when you go into a grocery store that’s not your usual store and you feel totally uncomfortable and lost.
  5. Shopping with a girlfriend is a wonderful thing.  So different than shopping with my husband.  When shopping with girlfriends, the conversation just continues as you move through the stores. You get actual opinions and pros and cons on your potential purchases. When I shop with my husband  he pretty much becomes a mute when we walk into a store and I feel immense pressure to get out of the store as soon as possible.

After our shopping marathon, we went back to Emily and Zach‘s for dinner.  We sat outside with a glass of wine while we waited for Mike and Zach to get back from golf and then Zach fired up the grill. It was a great end to a great day.

 

Where I've been

Posted on by jplatt27

I’ve been away from the blog for the past few weeks.

Though nothing major has really happened, I feel like a lot is going on and I’m on the cusp of something big.

Here’s what I’ve been up to…

I’ve been soaking up as much information as I can about life coaching and starting a business. Literally all I want to do is read more. Though I’m technically “working” or “studying” when I do these things, it feels like I’m just reading for fun on a Sunday afternoon. This is how I’ve been spending most of my free time. I’m hooked and I just want more.

My best friends from college came to visit DC last weekend with significant others in tow. This is how I feel when I see these girls.

We had a full day Saturday–breakfast at The Diner in Adam’s Morgan; a walk through the Zoo; a picnic in Rock Creek Park with pizza, frisbee, and a round of stickball; delicious dinner and dessert at Kramerbooks and Afterwards; drinks at James Hoban’s. I loved playing stickball.  I was so impressed with myself during my time at bat and I think Mike was too. Sunday we had brunch at Founding Farmers (highly recommend) and some headed back to NYC while the rest of us went down for a walk on the National Mall. It was so fun for all of us to spend time together.

I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about ABC’s new show Scandal. I’m absolutely obsessed.

source

Kerry Washington is a rockstar as Olivia Pope, a crisis manager for high profile/high scandal situations in Washington, DC. Created by the same woman behind Grey’s Anatomy and inspired by the life of a real Washingtonian, this show is a combination of drama and mystery that leaves me wanting more every. single. week. This is our new go-to show. Check it out.  It’s free On Demand on Comcast.

We’re home for the weekend for early Mother’s Day. We’ll have dinner with Mike’s family tonight and I’ll spend the day with my mom tomorrow. I’m really looking forward to seeing my mom.  I just want to give her a big hug.  And drag her to the mall.  Hope you have a great weekend!

I’d love to know:

What have you been up to?

Have you seen Scandal? I literally talk about this show all the time. I actually had a dream that I was telling someone about it last night.

Participate in Life Fund

Posted on by jplatt27

We had a great time at Zach and Emily’s wedding last weekend.  Blessed to be friends with each of them individually, the happiness I usually experience at a friend’s wedding was doubled for me. Zach and Emily were both so happy and so in love.  It was amazing.   Emily is a beautiful person but I haven’t seen her as radiant and happy as she was on her wedding day.  We had a great time celebrating with them and look forward to sharing more happiness with them in the future.

Part of the reason the weekend was so great was because we didn’t have to worry about money or how we were going to pay for things this weekend. No, a wedding fairy didn’t come down and make the weekend free.  We planned ahead for occasions like this in our 2012 budget. While we want to attack our debt and try to save a little bit of money, we don’t want to forgo life events and sharing in special, happy times with friends to do so.   We now allocate money each month for upcoming weddings and other celebrations.  We call this line in our budget our “participation in life” fund. Because we planned ahead, we didn’t have to worry about where money for gas, meals, tolls, the hotel, and gift would come from or put these things on a credit card.

Cheers to celebrating stress-free!