Tag: girlfriends

link love

Posted on by jplatt27

I found the perfect time to go to the grocery store: Thursday night at 8:45. Just got back from a super quick trip to pick up a few things for breakfast on Saturday morning and it was a dream! There was no one in the store so I was able to zip around, getting the few things I needed — and a few extras that caught my eye. My good mood probably helped with the zipping!

Happy weekend! Some links for you:

A super indulgent smoothie I drank four times this week

I love taking myself on dates so I loved this post about a girl who dated herself as a rebound (Good share, Colleen!)

I always say “sometimes saying no to others means saying yes to yourself” so I love my friend Jess’ idea to capture your no’s. And check out her email course, 30 Days of Gutsy, too!

Love this idea for connecting with friends!

I’ve been thinking about making these pancakes again for a couple weeks now…maybe this weekend?

And a quote from a book I’m reading:

“Loneliness is an invitation to recognize that our hearts have more capacity to love. The same way hunger pangs tell us when we need nourishment and energy, loneliness is our heart’s way of encouraging us to engage.” ~Shasta Nelson, Friendships Don’t Just Happen

 

a milestone

Posted on by jplatt27

In a few minutes, I’ll lead my first coaching group call. I feel like I’m on the edge of something really big. Something that marks the beginning of something really great and new. The realization of a dream I’ve been working toward for 2 years. I want to take a minute to take it all in. I want to acknowledge all of the love that has gotten me to this point.

It started with my friends not laughing when I timidly tested the waters of this crazy thing by saying “I think I want to be a coach” before I really even knew what coaching was.

My family and Mike’s family not really knowing what coaching was or how the heck it’d ever pay my bills but going along with it anyway.

It was colleagues at my full-time job checking in to see how things were going and asking me to bring my skills to our full-time work.

My husband who has supported this big crazy dream emotionally and financially through the intense highs and lows, times of self-confidence and extreme bouts of self-doubt.

The coaches in my cohort that acknowledged my wide range of emotions as a gift for the first time, and lauded me for it.

The teachers that encouraged me to tap into my intuition and empathy–one of the biggest strengths I bring to my coaching practice.

Friends, coworkers, and strangers that let me practice on them.

My first clients that trusted me to help them believe in themselves.

It was big things like these words from my mom when I started doubting and questioning that this whole dream would even work: “Oh, it will work. Coaching works. You’re different now because of it.”

But it was smaller things too. Like Facebook likes. Or someone saying “that’s great!” when I shared literally the smallest possible advancement in this.

I can’t tell you how all of these doses of encouragement impacted me.

Thank you, all of you.

that’s me

Posted on by jplatt27

I love when I read something and think “oh my God, that’s me.” That’s exactly how I felt when I read this passage:

“So I decided that’s what God wanted to me to do. He wanted me to walk around telling people the truth. No mask, no hiding, no pretending. That was going to be my thing. I was going to make people feel better about their insides by showing them mine. By being my real self.” ~Glennon Doyle Melton, Carrior On Warrior

I try to do this here on my blog, but also in true, honest conversations with the people I interact with on a daily basis. I want authenticity to be my thing.

Have you read anything lately that made you think that’s me? If so, share in the comments.

don’t cry. don’t say that.

Posted on by jplatt27

I’m a crier. I’ve always been a crier and will always be a crier. I cry in conversations with friends, I cry at commercials. I’ve cried at work, and in yoga class, and in church. This is all pretty normal for me.

So take it from me, when someone is crying, the last thing they want to hear someone say is “don’t cry.” Please don’t say that. It doesn’t do anything for the person crying. When you say that, it cuts off the connection.

When someone is crying, you don’t necessarily have to say anything. When someone is crying, you don’t necessarily have to do anything.

The best thing you can do for a person crying is hold space for their tears.

Tears are sacred. Don’t be scared of them. Let them come. And let yourself be present for the person shedding them, whether that’s you, a loved one, or a stranger.

 

P.S. A beautiful little short on the power of empathy. Please watch this.

 

my favorite outfit

Posted on by jplatt27

On my business blog yesterday I shared an exercise for self-reflection based on your favorite outfit. Here are my answers:

What is your favorite outfit?

My weekend morning outfit: Gap G-flex yoga pants, a cotton tank, and a long cardigan

What do you like about this outfit?

I like that it’s comfortable but also looks put together.

How does this outfit make you feel?

Relaxed but motivated to go do something, cute (these pants look good on my butt!), like myself, cozy

How do you move in this outfit?

Confidently, with ease, with a little pep

What activities can you do in this outfit?

Run errands, read a book, go to my favorite coffee shop, go to yoga, lay on the couch, relax, cook

——

Tell me some of your answers and then head on over to www.cupofteacoaching.com/blog to read part two of the exercise!

if you have to cry, go outside. [a review]

Posted on by jplatt27

I got Kelly Cutrone’s If You Have to Cry, Go Outside: And Other Things Your Mother Never Told You from a friend who’d read it and thought I would like it.

Honestly I was a bit skeptical going into it.  I didn’t know who Kelly Cutrone is and the cover didn’t really pull me in. I mean “if you have to cry go outside” isn’t really a mantra that resonates with me. (Clearly.  1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

But this book was far from the coldness I felt in the title.  Frankly, it was warm and comforting.

Kelly (think I can call her that?) discusses finding yourself in your twenties and early thirties after the school path you were on ends and you’re left to design your own. She talks about many things that I’ve struggled with during my quarter-life crisis: career, babies, spirituality, relationships.

I was touched by her honesty, by her wisdom, and by how much her words resonated with me.  How much her message aligns so much with my own.

Some passages that resonated with me:

“I happen to believe the world will change only when we change ourselves.  And that starts with finding ourselves.  And that starts with listening to ourselves: learning to quiest the clamor in our minds and the voices of everyone around us and move toward what feels right–toward the things we know, for reasons we can’t explain, that we’re meant to do, the things that make us feel alive.” p. 9

“Study as many religions and teachings as possible; take what you like from each and leave the rest…Women should spend as much time looking for a religion of their own as they do trying to find a hot guy to have sex with. Because let’s be honest: there are too many examples of magic and miracles in this world to say with any certainty that there isn’t something fantastically wonderful going on here…if you don’t have faith in yourself and in something larger than yourself, and if you want to take this world at face value, you’re going to have a fucking nasty ride.” pp. 75-76

“We’re constantly moving from level to level, trying to collect the promised prizes, without stopping to think about the order we want these things to come in, or whether we even really want them at all.” p. 99

“It doesn’t matter how glamorous or lucrative a career may seem fro the outside; if it’s not the path you’re meant to be on, you will never be happy or fulfilled doing it.” p. 136

“I firmly believe that each woman is a goddess and that deep down inside herself she knows it.” p. 151

Aren’t these gems?  I’m sure there are many others that I loved but for whatever reason didn’t jot down as I was reading.

I really enjoyed this book and have already recommended it to a few friends. And now I recommend it to you.

Thank you, Kelly, for sharing this wisdom with us.

Question for you:

Do any of the passages above resonate with you?  If you’ve read the book, do you have others to add?

 

[two questions] friends in relationships

Posted on by jplatt27

Ooo, it’s tough getting back into the routine after a nice three-day weekend.

I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship recently so I thought friendship in relation to relationships would be a good topic for two questions this week.

How are you a friend to your s.o.?

I’ve been thinking about how to answer this question since I came up with it last night.  I guess the fact that I have to think about it makes it a good question?

Mike and I were friends for almost 5 years before we started dating junior year of high school.  Prior to dating, our friendship consisted mostly of phone conversations and notes back and forth during the school day.  I confided a lot in Mike during this time and always valued the advice he would give me because it was always very selfless.  I’d call him crying over a boy problem and instead of saying “he’s not good for you anyway, you should forget about him and go out with me” he’d console me and give me advice on how to handle the situation.  That’s something I’ll never forget about him and our friendship during those early years.

I think that’s one way we are friends to each other now.  When listening and offering advice and support and helping each other with decisions, I’ll take into consideration what Mike wants and what will make him happy and encourage him to make that decision even if it’s not my first choice.  And Mike will do the same.  As Mike just put it simply: you’ll support even if you disagree.

We’ve also become friends in a more fun sense.  We’ll do things together and spend time together as friends and not necessarily in a romantic way.  Mike will watch the Kardashians if I want to and we spent Sunday morning eating breakfast on the couch and watching a movie even though that’s not really my thing. We’ll go for a frisbee toss, or I’ll join him on a run.

What are your thoughts on couple-friends?

Couple-friends are a win-win!  I get to spend time with my husband and I get to hang out with my friends–two of my favorite things in one.  I love double dates. It’s really fun to be in a social setting with Mike.  While I make a concerted effort to see my friends, I sometimes unintentionally isolate Mike from my girlfriends because I so cherish girl time and then we’re really not in groups of people together very often. Couple friends allow us to be social together.

Friends that are friends with both of us are also amazing.  We don’t have a ton of these but it’s nice to have mutual friends that we both have individual relationships with.  Most of our mutual friends are guys. Not surprising as I sequester my girlfriends to myself.

Talk to me:

How are you a friend to your s.o. or how is your partner a friend to you? I’m honestly still thinking about my answer to this question.  I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what it means to be a friend and so I’m trying to evaluate my answer based on a definition I haven’t yet solidified.  I’m also having a hard time differentiating friend behaviors with husband behaviors–like where is the line? Our relationship is so rooted in friendship that it’s hard to know where one ends and the other begins. 

Thoughts on couple-friends?

 

I’m always open to more questions for two questions on Tuesdays.  Feel free to ask questions in the comments or on my Facebook page.  And if you haven’t done so already, like the page will ya?

the worst part of being an adult

Posted on by jplatt27

The real world.  We’ve all got to enter it at some point.  It includes bill paying, work, finding a new identity that’s not student, and while all of that has its challenges, none of these are the worst part of being an adult.

Let me explain…

….

It’s about noon on Sunday and my best friends from college and I are sprawled across two beds in the hotel room we shared after LEM‘s bachelorette party wishing we could all go back to sleep for about 4 more hours.  We were out til 4am, drinking and dancing up a storm.  Our heads hurt and we’re so tired. But as I cuddle and chat with my best friends, all 6 of us together, this warm loving feeling spreads over me and I say “isn’t life just so good right now?” They all laugh because it’s ridiculous–we’re exhausted and the room is spinning a bit–but I know deep down they all agree.

….

It’s a Sunday breakfast that turns into three hours over coffee and crepes, a lunch date that leaves you bouncing into your office, a happy hour that turns into dinner and a bottle of wine and not getting home until 10:30 on a Monday.

….

It’s a text message telling you about a DC pizza place on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives or an email mid-day Wednesday asking how the week is going.

….

Yes, these are some of the best things in life.

But they point to the worst thing about being an adult: there’s never enough time for friends. 

And maybe the flip side of that is realizing how valuable these people are.  And finally learning to shift your priorities to make time for them.  Because they are everything.

 

Talk to me: what do you think is the worst part of being an adult?

an honor and a privilege

Posted on by jplatt27

One of the best things in life is witnessing, sharing, and celebrating the love and happiness of people that mean the world to you.

I spent the weekend doing just that at my friend Lauren’s wedding. Alongside our best friends from college, I had the privilege to be a bridesmaid and partake in all of the wedding festivities.  It was truly an honor to share this special day with my friend and see the love and joy that surrounded her up close. Thank you, LEM, for this very special experience.

 

PS–I’m guest posting over at Perfection Isn’t Happy today while Emily is on her honeymoon! Check it out!

 

 

Creating lives we love

Posted on by jplatt27

Yesterday I hosted my first vision board party.

While planning this party and waiting for RSVPs to come in, I hoped I would get a good turnout and maybe worried I wouldn’t. But then I reminded myself that the women that everyone that was meant to be here would show up.  And I truly believe that’s what happened.

I had a wonderful group of 7 amazing, beautiful, creative women: two friends from work, my Girls on the Run partner, a friend from high school, a friend that’s dating one of my friends from high school, my little from my sorority, and another friend from college.

We spent the afternoon flipping through magazines and gathering images, words, and phrases that inspired us. Then we each organized our clippings onto poster boards to create a vision for our lives.

This is the first step in creating lives we love.

Each board was different: some were vertical, some horizontal; some all words, some all photos. But each board was beautiful and inspiring, and hopeful in its own way.

As we went around sharing key pieces of our boards, I was so touched by what each woman had to share. I’ve known most of the girls for at least a few years at this point and I was still surprised and inspired by what they included on their boards. It was awesome–as in I was literally in awe of the the women, my friends, that came out. The best version of each woman and what the lives the aspire to have.

My heart was. so. happy. Even recalling this now, my heart is swelling with joy.

Thank you again to the girls that came out to support me. You each have a special place in my heart.

I can’t wait to host my next party. Probably late August or early September!

But who knows…it could be sooner!

I’d love to know:

Have you ever made a vision board?