Tag: the little things

five memories and one for good luck

Posted on by jplatt27

It’s my mom’s birthday today. In honor of her birthday I’d thought I’d share some of my favorite memories related to my mom.

1. I remember her sitting on the windowsill in my room and singing “Puff the Magic Dragon.”

2. One Valentine’s Day we came home from school to find tie-dyed Ty teddy bears sitting at each of our spots at the kitchen table. It made me so happy.

3. One fall night my mom and I watched Carrie just the two of us. We sat on the couch under a blanket with all the lights turned off (we “made a movie theather”) and it was pitch black outside, maybe even thunderstorming. It was so scary but so fun at the same time.

4. Late middle school I was having a really hard time. My mom stuck a note in my lunch, a little card with a pastel landscape on the front. I don’t remember quite what it said but it was short and sweet and written in pencil. It was something along the lines of “keep your head up, you don’t have to make decision now” and at the bottom “I love you, Mom.” I remember exactly where I was in the hallway when I read this.  It was so comforting and helped me feel at peace.

5. About this time my first year in DC my mom came down for a visit. I was still teaching and having a really hard time. We went to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants and sat outside for an early dinner. Then we walked back to my apartment (about 2 miles), stopping for a pumpkin pie on the way back. We ate half of it that night just the two of us. I think she brought me Ugly Betty on DVD too. Having that show to watch really gave me an escape.

6. A couple years ago I called my mom to rant about Mike. I went on and on about how he couldn’t wash dishes and that I’d find them back in the cabinet dirty. It was driving me crazy. This rant was full of hysterics, yelling, tears, the whole bit. I remember sitting in my bedroom talking to her on the phone and she said “honey, you have to pick your battles, maybe you do the dishes etc” my response was “I don’t have many battles to pick so I choose this.” She laughed, said that was true and that it was a good thing. Then she asked “are you sure this is about the dishes? Could this be about something different?” How did she know?? She hit the nail on the head. I really wanted to be engaged and was sad that we weren’t. It was so comforting that she opened up that conversation and just let me cry about not being engaged without judgement.

Do you want to wish my mom a happy birthday?  

You can do so by sharing a memory with your mom. Call, email, text, write, post it on my Facebook wall and tag your mom–wrap it however you want–but let your mom know you’re thinking of her and that that memory means something to you.

House-training

Posted on by jplatt27

Can you train your spouse?

I have a co-worker that hates this phrase.  Like, you train a dog, not your loved one. I get what he’s saying. Perhaps this isn’t the most PC way of saying that you encourage your partner to change some habits. But for the sake of this post, when I say training that’s what I mean.

But I do think there is a little bit of training that comes with living with someone. Mike’s learned to put the toilet seat down and to wash dishes thoroughly. This behavior modification goes both ways–it’s not just the woman training the man.

For example: Mike’s trained me to put the butter away when I’m done using it. He’s trained me to wash my lunch container at work instead of waiting until I get home. He’s taught me to lock the door behind me when I get home.

I think this kind of training is good for a relationship.  It shows that you listen and you respect your partner and their seemingly small, inconsequential preferences. You hear them when they share their gripes and work to make sure you avoid things that may drive them crazy. Is it killing Mike to put the toilet seat down? Have I lost a bit of myself because I wash my lunch container at work? No. Not at all. But the payoff is great because in doing these things we’ve removed some irritation from each other’s lives.

Granted, I think you have to pick your battles. You can’t find everything about your partner seriously irritating. And if you find that to be the case, maybe there’s something bigger going on?

Tell me:

What do you think about “training” your spouse?

What habits are you trying to train your S/O on?

What have you been trained to do?

Love during hockey playoffs

Posted on by jplatt27

Playoff hockey season can be challenging for a marriage.  There are games multiple days a week and the stakes of each game are high. Because I’m not a huge Flyers fan, we usually spend this time apart. Between the hockey games and our busy schedules, it’s been particularly hard to find time to spend together in the last few weeks.

However, Mike did a few things during the Flyers playoffs that made me feel really loved. They are seemingly small things but they show thought and care.

During one of the first games, I was really sick and went to bed early.  The Flyers ended up winning against the Penguins (Mike could tell you more about the exact game and exact plays/goals). The next morning I asked if they won or lost and he said they won.  He said he was doing some silent jumping up and down and screaming because he didn’t want to wake me.

A few weeks ago, I had a work event and got home later than usual. I walked into the apartment and Mike was making dinner and music filled the space. I can’t remember what song was playing or what Mike said to me but I remember standing, holding the island with both hands, facing the window, singing and looking out and relishing the moment. Later Mike told me that he wanted to put the game on but didn’t because I deserved to come home and not have the game on in the background. That since it wasn’t even a Flyers game he decided to do without it.

On Thursday last week we sat down to have dinner at the table before the game started.  Knowing that the game started at 7:30, I figured we’d eat quick and Mike would go on to watch the game.  We got caught up chatting and when I looked at my watch it was 7:50.  We moved to the couch and continued talking, maybe even watched an episode of Modern Family.  I was so grateful that he wasn’t itching to turn the game on and made the effort to get some quality time in with me.

I also showed some consideration during playoffs.  Earlier this week, I really wanted to talk to Mike about some next steps. Knowing that he had a paper to finish and the Flyers to watch that night, I texted him and said “Can we chat about coach training tomorrow night?” He appreciated that I recognized the importance of his paper and his desire to watch the game. I appreciated that he noticed that.

Home Alone

Posted on by jplatt27

I’ve written here before about how important it is to do your own things in a relationship.  I spend a decent amount of time doing my own thing each week.  From drinks with girlfriends to tutoring, from morning workouts to mornings at the coffee house, I’m often out and about without Mike. Last week I was reminded of another thing I like to do without Mike and actually probably need a little bit more of in my life: hang out at home. alone.

Last Thursday, I was home from Girls on the Run by 5:30. Mike was at happy hour with former co-workers and wouldn’t be home til late.  I made a quick dinner for myself, a lackluster quesadilla with salsa and ate it.

It was 6:00, probably earlier, and I had the entire night ahead of me.  I had nothing to do.  No tutoring, no coaching calls. Just an entire Thursday evening to myself. What would I do for 3 or 4 hours?

I started by taking a nice, long, hot shower.  Took my good ‘ole time and enjoyed the warmth and relaxation of the water.  While warm, my morning showers are usually pretty quick, I do what I need to do and get out so I can get on to breakfast.

I got out, put on my robe, and got in bed to read The Other Boleyn Girl. Within 5-10 pages I was sleepy and decided to take a nap.  I napped for about half an hour, woke up, and read a little more.

I got out of bed and I can’t even remember exactly what I did next. I think I moved to the couch and read a little more. At some point, I sat down at my computer and started writing. I got a good bit of writing done. I did the dishes. I dried my hair. I got in bed around 9:30 and watched Downton Abbey on the iPad and went to bed. And it was wonderful.

It’s not like I can’t do any of these things while Mike is there.  Of course I could. But when Mike’s around, I want to spend time with him, watch TV, relax. And if we are doing separate things, Mike’s probably watching TV or listening to sports talk or doing the dishes or something that is making some kind of noise. It’s not just him.  I do the same things.

There’s nothing like being alone in your apartment.  To be able to move around the apartment doing whatever you want when you want.  You can read in bed and then move to the couch to watch TV and then listen to music and be on the computer. You can clean without worrying about making too much noise or moving around someone.

I remember having this feeling before: on a Sunday morning when Mike was off running some errands,  I was able to lay on the couch and read my book. And the apartment was so quiet. This is bliss, I thought.

I need to make a point to have more periods of time like this.

Let’s talk:

When was the last time you were home alone? What’s your favorite thing to do when no one’s around?

Together while apart: how we stay in touch while traveling

Posted on by jplatt27

While Mike is in Florida, we’re communicating primarily through email. It started when I went to St. Lucia and knew I wouldn’t have cell service.  It didn’t even cross my mind to find a way to be able to use my phone while there. My sisters got calling cards, texting plans, and an app to call through wi-fi but I just assumed we’d have wi-fi at the resort and Mike and I agreed to email back and forth through the week. We liked it so much that even though we can chat on the phone or through text while Mike is in Florida we decided we’d primarily chat through email.

While it was weird not speaking or texting when I was away, we realized that we really enjoyed emailing back and forth. I liked taking time to sit and write an email to him–it allowed me time to reflect on the trip, to think about my response before responding. In writing to each other, I think we gave each other more quality time than we would have if we’d be calling and texting.

When we’re apart, phone calls are usually short at the end of the day when I’m tired and/or distracted and therefore they’re not very substantive, and filled with lots of  “i miss you.” While texts are nice, text conversations can be the worst.

But, when I sat down to write Mike an email (in the morning, my favorite time of day), I wanted to fill him in on what I’d been up to, what things were on my mind. I’d think consciously about what I wanted him to know, what I wanted to talk to him about. When you’re emailing, you can’t just be on the other end of the line, you have to write and you have to think about it. I’d be sure to ask him thoughtful questions, to follow up on things he’d told me to keep the conversation going. It is a different way of a communicating but a nice change of pace.

It was fun to look forward to the emails. When did I think he’d write? What would he say? I felt like I did back in middle school waiting for a note from a boy I liked and the giddiness and excitement that went along with that.

If I looked forward to emails from him every day this week, you can imagine my excitement that he’s coming home TODAY!

I’d love to know:

How do you keep in touch with your sig-o when traveling apart? (see above)

Do you remember exchanging notes in middle school? I remember getting notes from Mike in middle school.  I can still remember how he folded them–differently than I did.  

Breakfast at the table

Posted on by jplatt27

Yesterday morning, Mike took his breakfast (my favorite pancakes) and coffee to the kitchen table.  “Sitting at the the table this morning?” I said, hopefully. We always eat breakfast at home during the week but usually while watching The Today Show, Morning Joe, or Mike & Mike. We hadn’t really seen or spoken to each other for two days while Mike was working an event for his job and when he got home at 11pm and greeted sleeping me with a kiss my 1/4 awake response was “What, you’re not even going to tell me you’re home?” Welcome home, huh? The next morning, I was excited to chat, had so many things to share and Mike sitting down at the table told me that he was open to some conversation.

I love when we eat at the table together but it’s a rare occurrence.  We usually eat dinner eat on the couch at the coffee table while watching TV. But recently we’ve both realized that we should eat at our table more.

It’s amazing how much more we talk when we’re sitting across the table from each other–we’ll actually have a conversation. Not like we don’t chat when we’re on the couch but the conversation is much more engaging, much more of a dialogue when we’re sitting at a real table. On the couch, it seems like we’re just reporting out.

If you ever feel disconnected from your significant other, I suggest sitting down to dinner.

I think it’s really important for couples to sit across the table from each other and talk and listen.  Honestly, this is important for any people that are living together, family members, friends, roommates, whatever.  It’s easy to go about your business and not really talk. And doesn’t it feel so good to really talk?

I’d love to know:

How often do you eat at the table? Do you agree that sitting at the table facilitates better conversation?

Happy hearts and happy bellies

Posted on by jplatt27

Sitting across from my best friends at breakfast Sunday morning, I’m struck by how beautiful they all are and how lucky I am to have them in my life. Yes, they are all pretty women, I’ve always known that. But over the past year or so I’ve realized that my friends are all around beautiful people: they are strong, smart, funny, kind, driven, loyal, caring, comforting people and my life wouldn’t be the same without them in it.

In high school and through college I think I took my friends for granted–often opting to spend time Mike and his friends instead of my girlfriends.  It’s not until I graduated from college and moved away from them all that I realized how precious friendships are, how much girlfriends add to your life.

We had an amazing weekend together.  Planned about a month ago to celebrate Jordyn’s birthday and her return to the east coast (she moved from LA to DC in January), we were all so looking forward to the girl time. We each had our own reasons for looking forward to the trip, and I think it was exactly what we needed.

The girls got to DC on Friday night and the grown-up slumber party began with dinner at my apartment. (I made this.) Having us all around my kitchen table was a bit surreal. If it was in a movie a slow happy song would play as the camera slowly pans over each of our faces as we smile, throw our heads back in laughter, and raise our glasses for a toast. It’s crazy to think that we’re all adults now and our conversations focus on work, serious relationships, being moms some day, finances, goals, and dreams.

Saturday morning my living room was covered in air mattresses, blankets, and luggage just like my bedroom was in middle school when these slumber parties began. I made my favorite pancakes and we went to my favorite yoga class. We got back around lunchtime and Mike made us all homemade pizza. Then we just veged in our gym clothes for the afternoon, read magazines, books, took naps, watched a movie. Because we really didn’t have to do anything.  We just wanted to be together. 

We put ourselves together on Saturday night for a night out on the town. We had an 8 o’clock reservation at Zaytinya and after two sketchy cab rides we all arrived at our destination. We shared a few carafes of the Pom Fili (white wine, vodka, and pomegranate juice) and sampled a lot of menu items: salads, fritters, spreads, meats. We left dinner with happy hearts and happy bellies.

Tina, Jordyn, me, Leslie, Bridget

Next, we headed to POV at the W Hotel just a quick walk away from the restaurant.  We felt pretty baller walking in and when we got to our table I was so excited we were there.  POV, the rooftop bar, is one of my favorite places in the city and I’d been wanting to take girlfriends there for a while.

Unfortunately, our stay was short-lived.  As we began ordering our first drinks, the server said “did anyone tell you about the policy?” “No,” we said, “what policy?” “It’s a $50 per person minimum or you have to do bottle service.” WHAT?!?! Since we were all pretty full and not wanting to spend $60 on drinks alone, we left our table and headed back to my neighborhood. We had a drink at a neighborhood bar before coming back to my apartment, making Pillsbury cinnamon buns, and going to bed.

And so quickly it was Sunday morning.  Of course, I had to take my friends to my favorite breakfast place: Open City in Woodley Park. As we chat over coffee, I get a bit emotional at the joy of the experience and wish that I could be surrounded by these girls all the time.  These are girls I’ve liked since middle school but have come to truly admire in the past few years.  Luckily, the conversation quickly turns to when we can have another weekend like this and we brainstorm places we can travel together.

As I gave them hugs at the train station, I had to fight back tears.  I really hate to see them go.

Luckily, one’s still here for good and we’re already planning our next girls weekend.

The Little Things: Christmas 2011 edition

Posted on by jplatt27

Back in DC after a very busy but great holiday weekend with our families in PA.  Here’s a list of the little things that made this weekend great:

  • pulling up and seeing Christmas lights on my Dad’s house after years without them
  • the smell of a real tree
  • seeing It’s a Wonderful Life at the old Newtown Theater on Christmas Eve
  • waking up with my husband on Christmas morning
  • giving a great gift and the smiles that follow when it’s opened
  • sitting in front of the fire
  • Mike and I putting the finishing touches on Christmas dinner with perfect timing for serving
  • coffee in a Christmas mug
  • laughing with Mike’s parents
  • the huge smiles on my siblings’ and Dad’s faces while iceskating on Christmas day

  • seeing a picture of my mom and me from my wedding day hanging above her desk at work
  • holding hands while iceskating
  • seeing Mike back on skates after 3 years
  • good conversations with Mike’s cousins
  • the decision to bring cheesesteaks and hoagies to Dad’s to eat a chill dinner with everyone at home
  • seeing old friends at the annual Christmas and little hot-dog party, especially one I haven’t seen in a while

The Little Things: Fun in Florida

Posted on by jplatt27

Just got back from visiting my sister Melissa in Florida. I loved the palm trees, the sunshine, the warm breeze, and being by the water.  I also loved the quality time with two of my sisters, their significant others, and Mike.

Inspired by Julie’s 50 Days of the Little Things, I’ve been thinking about simple things that make me smile for a while now.  Here’s the list of things the little things that made me happy this weekend:

  • painted nails
  • my husband’s sense of humor
  • long conversations with my sisters
  • mini-blueberry muffins with crumb topping
  • cuddling with the dogs
  • Newsies (did you hear it’s on Broadway now?!)
  • my SELF magazine subscription and how it always arrives just in time for my travels
  • holding hands
  • fresh orange juice
  • walking and talking with Melissa’s girlfriend
  • an afternoon nap

I’d love to know:

What little things made your weekend?