Author: jplatt27

four sisters

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I had a great time last weekend and this weekend was just as good!

My sisters were here!

We didn’t really do much–we just wanted to be together and that’s exactly what we did.

We spent Friday and Saturday nights just lounging in my apartment, calling our brother on speaker phone for a lively discussion on Friday and watching the Kardashians and Married to Jonas on Saturday.

We had lunch at Matchbox on Saturday followed by dinner at Open City on Saturday night and great conversations flowed during both meals.

I love these girls. I hope that one day we’ll all live close to each other and have be able to hang like that all the time.

it's that time of year

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It’s that time of year again.

Seasonal affective disorder is in full swing for me.

A lot of people think it’s a winter or cold thing but for me, it’s actually more about the amount of light there is in a day.  It first hit me right after Labor Day.  When it stays dark out longer in the morning, that’s when I get into trouble.

Here’s how it shows up for me:

  • I feel like a zombie. I’m really really tired. Even though I sleep 8 hours a night.
  • I don’t want to do anything. I don’t want to write, I don’t want to read.  Sometimes I don’t even want to watch my favorite TV shows.
  • Mornings are rough. I don’t want to get out of bed. I got back in bed one morning last week until 8. And when I do get out of bed I have to talk myself through the whole morning: just get in the shower, just get on the bus.  I’ve actually bought lunch and snacks a lot recently because my resolve is seriously down.
  • I don’t really want to eat anything. This is very strange for me.  I’m always thinking about my next meal.

Here’s how I’m working to combat this, starting today:

  • Sit in front of my “happy light” each morning (I bought this on Amazon last year and it makes a world of difference)
  • No unnecessary weekends of visitors or travel, maybe until spring
  • Go to the gym 3 times a week. I’m going to text my mom each morning before I go to hold me accountable. This works like a charm.  I was chatting with her on Wednesday last week and asked if I could text her before I go.  And sure enough, I made it to the gym Thursday morning.
  • Pack lunch the night before.  Since I barely have an appetite, it’s difficult for me to be motivated to pack my lunch in the morning.  It then becomes another thing I have to talk myself through in the morning just make a sandwich, just pack some grapes. But it’s really important that I’m eating nutritious food  this time of year because what I eat really impacts my energy levels and I need to choose things that help me, not make me sleepier than I already am.
  • Two walks during the work day.  Taking a walk around the block around 10:30 and 3 just to get some air and some light really helps pick me back up.

This year hasn’t been nearly as bad as past years.  Being on anxiety medicine takes that out of the equation and I just have to combat the SAD and not the combination of the two.  They really fuel each other so I’m so glad that my anxiety is under control.

But still, it’s really difficult.  I want to be my bouncy self, energetic and moving things along. I have so many ideas and no motivation to do anything with them.

I’m trying not to fight it, to give my body what it needs.  If that means an extra half hour of sleep in the morning, or two naps on Sundays, or a 20-minute nap when I get home from work so be it.  This is just something that I have to deal with this time of year and I can either accept it and relax into it or try to actively fight against it.  While I will work to decrease the symptoms and make myself feel better, I won’t beat myself up when I don’t feel 100%.

weekend in the city

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Last weekend I went to New York for a girls weekend.

I took the bus up on Saturday morning and navigated myself to Jen’s apartment on the Upper East Side.

Not kidding when I say that the only reason I didn’t get on the subway going the wrong direction was because when I looked at the photo in. my. phone. I realized the sign said downtown. Yikes.

We met up with the girls at Max Brenner.

Even though it was three in the afternoon, I had to get the chocolate chip pancakes. They did not disappoint.

Then we wandered around for the afternoon/early evening before having dinner and drinks.

On Sunday morning, we planned to meet for brunch at Hannah’s apartment in Brooklyn. Jen and I decided to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge on our way.

It was a gorgeous day, perfect for a walk.  Also perfect for brunch outside on the terrace followed by a visit to a nearby park.

Mid-afternoon, I met Amanda for another walk, this time in Battery Park.

We also stopped for a snack and had some delicious sangria and great conversation at a perfect window seat.

After my afternoon with Amanda, I headed to meet some of my favorite people from high school for dinner.

After some debate we decided as a table to go for the Sunday Supper: whole fried chicken and a bunch of sides, an appetizer, and dessert! Great decision.

Monday I spent the day with Jen. We got bagels, mani-pedis, stopped in to see her mom and 4-month old niece, had Thai food for lunch, and did a little shopping.

I wanted to show you my manicure–I went a little trendy and got one different color nail–but I forgot to take a picture and now they’re all chipped.

I hopped on a 5:00 bus back to DC.

I read O, The Oprah Magazine, and watched an episode of Downton Abbey. We made great time back to DC getting in around 9:20.

It was a great weekend filled with some great girl time.  Love girl time.

make time to take it all in

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On my wedding day I woke up about 4:30 or 5 am. I laid in bed for a little while, wrote a line or two in my journal, tried to read or peruse a magazine.  Then I just laid there staring at the wall thinking, which is one of my favorite pastimes. I was excited but I don’t think I was jittery or nervous.  Actually the opposite–I think I was quite at peace.

Around 6, I drove to Starbucks to get a coffee, a muffin and some alone time. The town was quiet, there was no traffic.  I sat at a stop light just because it was red, not because there were other cars that needed to go. There was peace.  The sun was just coming up.

I was one of a few people at Starbucks that Saturday morning.  My order was the same as the day before: tall skim latte, apple bran muffin, grande ice water. I finished one last note and then stared out the window.  There wasn’t much to see.  The Starbucks is in the middle of a shopping center and it was so early that there weren’t even any people to watch, just a near empty parking lot. But to me, on that morning, I saw a beautiful day. A day that would be filled with love and family and friends, and dreams coming true. I probably sent Mike a good morning message telling him how excited I was to marry him.

And the then I drove back to my mom’s. I drove singing along, maybe dancing a bit. The Black Eyed Peas song “Just Can’t Get Enough” was playing and I sang and danced along.

—————————–

After pictures, Mike and I took some time to relax and spend time just the two of us before the rush of the reception. We had a blanket set up in the grass and a plate of hors d’oeuvres and drinks brought to us.  It was a beautiful day. I remember sitting, shoes off, looking out over the grounds of the Castle and the feeling the breeze blowing past us.  It was so peaceful and another great opportunity to take in the love and joy of the day.

My morning at Starbucks and the time we spent having a picnic were some of my favorite moments of my wedding day, when I had the opportunity to just take it all in and appreciate the moment.

During our wedding planning Mike and I made a point to schedule down time into the plan so we could relax and enjoy the day a little bit. I’m so glad we did.  It really allowed us to appreciate it all, it slowed the day down a little bit, and gave us a chance to catch our breath and stop and say “isn’t this amazing.”

Thinking about it recently, I think this is something I want to implement in my life going forward.  What’s the point of creating an amazing life if we don’t have time to take it all in while it’s happening?  Sure, it’s nice to look back on things and think about how fun they are.  But I think a little appreciation in the moment can really go a long way.

So I’m scheduling things in now, times that we can plan to slow down and take it all in.  So far, I have a new recipe once a week. I also like naps and laying in bed on weekends just looking out the window and daydreaming.

I’ll share some more ideas once I have them.

What do you like to do to slow down and take it all in?

 

 

 

quick check in

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Hey there!

Just wanted to do a quick check-in and let you know that I’m alive.

I was in NYC visiting friends this weekend through Monday so I was away from the computer over the weekend and now I’m recovering from my trip.

I posted on Facebook last weekend that I was at my favorite coffee shop blogging and was looking forward to sharing some great content. That wasn’t a lie–I am, but blogging has fallen a bit on my priority list as of late.

I’m super busy with coach training, tutoring, and coaching appointments, oh, and work. And it’s that time of year…seasonal affective disorder is getting me in full force so my mornings are not nearly as productive as I’d like them to be. Instead of berating myself for not posting, I’m trying to give my body what it needs and accept the fact that I’m a) really busy and b) just getting by for now and that I might not get to post as often as I’d like and that’s OK.

I’m looking forward to this weekend and next for a chance to catch my breath a bit.

PS–I was also in NYC this weekend last year!

 

if you have to cry, go outside. [a review]

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I got Kelly Cutrone’s If You Have to Cry, Go Outside: And Other Things Your Mother Never Told You from a friend who’d read it and thought I would like it.

Honestly I was a bit skeptical going into it.  I didn’t know who Kelly Cutrone is and the cover didn’t really pull me in. I mean “if you have to cry go outside” isn’t really a mantra that resonates with me. (Clearly.  1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

But this book was far from the coldness I felt in the title.  Frankly, it was warm and comforting.

Kelly (think I can call her that?) discusses finding yourself in your twenties and early thirties after the school path you were on ends and you’re left to design your own. She talks about many things that I’ve struggled with during my quarter-life crisis: career, babies, spirituality, relationships.

I was touched by her honesty, by her wisdom, and by how much her words resonated with me.  How much her message aligns so much with my own.

Some passages that resonated with me:

“I happen to believe the world will change only when we change ourselves.  And that starts with finding ourselves.  And that starts with listening to ourselves: learning to quiest the clamor in our minds and the voices of everyone around us and move toward what feels right–toward the things we know, for reasons we can’t explain, that we’re meant to do, the things that make us feel alive.” p. 9

“Study as many religions and teachings as possible; take what you like from each and leave the rest…Women should spend as much time looking for a religion of their own as they do trying to find a hot guy to have sex with. Because let’s be honest: there are too many examples of magic and miracles in this world to say with any certainty that there isn’t something fantastically wonderful going on here…if you don’t have faith in yourself and in something larger than yourself, and if you want to take this world at face value, you’re going to have a fucking nasty ride.” pp. 75-76

“We’re constantly moving from level to level, trying to collect the promised prizes, without stopping to think about the order we want these things to come in, or whether we even really want them at all.” p. 99

“It doesn’t matter how glamorous or lucrative a career may seem fro the outside; if it’s not the path you’re meant to be on, you will never be happy or fulfilled doing it.” p. 136

“I firmly believe that each woman is a goddess and that deep down inside herself she knows it.” p. 151

Aren’t these gems?  I’m sure there are many others that I loved but for whatever reason didn’t jot down as I was reading.

I really enjoyed this book and have already recommended it to a few friends. And now I recommend it to you.

Thank you, Kelly, for sharing this wisdom with us.

Question for you:

Do any of the passages above resonate with you?  If you’ve read the book, do you have others to add?

 

[two questions] tv edition

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I’m so excited for new seasons of the fall shows to start back up so I thought I’d do today’s two questions about TV.

What TV shows do you watch together?

“Our” shows include Parenthood, Scandal, Newsroom (first season just ended),  and How I Met Your Mother.  We’ll watch the new episodes together usually on DVR as soon as we can after they air.  And we won’t watch without each other. I feel like HIMYM is pretty popular with people our age so I don’t really need to hype that one up too much.  But seriously, I’d highly recommend you check out Parenthood and Scandal.

We also love Modern Family but we’re a season behind–first disc of season three arrives from Netflix today! That show makes us crack up. Literally Mike laughs out loud.  I’m almost ready to laugh out loud thinking about how hard he laughs during the show. One of the lines that really got him was when they were in Hawaii and Manny and Luke were rooming together and Manny said something to Luke about how there was pee all over and did he pee with his eyes closed.  To which Luke responds: “I was brushing my teeth at the same time.”  Mike literally busted out laughing over that line.  Like full body laughter on the couch.  Priceless.

Other shows we love but aren’t as religious about include Law & Order: SVU and Criminal Minds.

What TV programs have you started to enjoy as a result of your relationship?

I’ve started to appreciate documentaries and specials about the political process and history.

When I asked Mike this question, he looked at me with a smirk.  “You don’t have any?” I said.  More or less.

But he will tolerate some reality TV shows I watch like the Kardashians.  We’ve also watched Army Wives together.  And Mike does admit to getting into a few seasons of The Biggest Loser.

Mike did turn his nose up to Law & Order: SVU when I suggested it to him in college.  Luckily, he quickly caught on.  Same thing happened with Criminal Minds and now they are both shows we always look for in the guide.  (Side note: Remember what life was like before the guide?  Wow.  And DVR?  We’ve come so far.)

Talk to me!

First things first: any Parenthood or Scandal fans out there?

How would you answer the questions above?

joanna's morning affirmations

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Have you seen Jessica’s Daily Affirmations on You Tube? It makes me smile every time.

I love this little girl’s excitement over life.  She’s so energetic and full of love.

I’ve actually been feeling pretty full of love recently so I thought I would do my own.

Here’s my version:

I love my sisters.

I love my life.

I love my hair.

I love my body.

I love my husband.

I can do anything good.

I love my apartment, and my bed, and the windows.

I love my co-workers.

I love my mom.

I love my dad.

I love my brother.

I. love. everything!

I love my friends.

I love my kitchen.

I love my clothes.

I have everything I need.

I love my bus and the sun and my neighborhood.

I. am. happy.

And powerful.

I am enough.

I am strong.

I am beautiful.

I love me.

Geez, imagine I woke up each day and recited these to myself in the mirror with the same gusto and enthusiasm and authenticity as Jessica.  How powerful would that be?

I invite you to join me by sharing a few lines of your own in the comments or on the Things After the Rings Facebook Page. Bloggers, I’d love to see you post your own on your blog.

Imagine if we all woke up each day and said things similar to this to ourselves in the mirror.  Wow, there’d be a lot of a happy women walking around.

[two questions]: getting it done day to day

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I’m so happy to answer my first questions from a reader!  One of my sorority sisters asked these questions and I have to be honest, they were a little bit of a doozy for me. I’ll explain at the end.

What is your daily schedule?

~5:30 Wake up, no alarm. Stay in bed looking out the window and thinking.  This is a huge part of my “me time.” I used to get up and go to the gym 3-4 days a week but recently I just haven’t been feeling it and just relishing that time in bed.

6:00 Alarm goes off for Mike.

~6:40 I get out of bed before the last of about 6 snoozes goes off.

~7:00 Mike is out of bathroom and we’re having breakfast and watching Morning Joe or Mike & Mike (kind of together, kind of not)

7:45 Mike is off to work.

8:35 I leave to catch the bus. (Read more about my morning routine or lack thereof here.)

9ish-5ish work

6:00 Mike’s home

Evenings consist of coaching calls, tutoring, teleclasses, dinner, some TV, trying to have quality time with my husband.

~9:05 I’m in bed.

 

How do you get everything done?

There are two parts to this answer:

1) I don’t, some things get put off. Perfect example: the big peach spot on the bottom of our tub.  It’s gone now because on a whim I thought “ok, this has gotta go” but it was there for about 2+ weeks before I did anything about it.

2) My husband helps a lot. I was actually thinking about this recently after a friend asked “how do you do it all?” That was the primary answer I came up with.  Of course I’d love to think that I’m super woman but really, Mike does a lot for me.  From grocery shopping, to cooking, to cleaning, to managing our money, Mike really does a lot.

—————————

To be honest, I struggled a lot in answering these questions.  I came up with two questions as a nice, easy way to share things about married life, relationships, life as a twenty-something but these threw me a little bit.  The answers about driving and where we eat dinner, piece of cake.  Ask me about money, I have an answer for that. The questions about friends and couples, a little harder but just took a little thinking to articulate my thoughts.

But these, I procrastinated on this post a little.  Ok, a lot actually.  I could’ve written this post over the weekend when I had time to sit in my bed with my computer, window open, nice breeze coming in, watching OWN, and writing.

I did NOT want to answer these questions this morning when I had plenty of time to draft a post. And I had a little bit of anxiety when I thought about writing this post when I was relaxing after work.

It’s now 9:17 and I’m still up typing away.

Here’s why.  I wasn’t ready to own the answers to these questions. These answers aren’t completely working for me and so it was a bit harder to share them.

Frankly, when it comes to my schedule, I’m working with what I’ve got at this point.  It’s not ideal.  I’d like to have a little more balance and relaxation in my week, more time for my husband.  Ideally, I’d have happy hour plans once a week between Monday and Thursday and the gym would be back to something I just do. I’d work significantly less than I do and my work wouldn’t creep into my mornings and evenings like it does now.

How do I get everything done? Geez, just hit me where it hurts! I always feel like I’m not doing enough.  That I could be doing more, more, more in every aspect of my life.

But you know what my schedule does reflect? Trying to strike a balance between work and personal time, something that’s very important to me. I’m proud that I give myself the time I need and that I’m working toward a dream.  And that I made a concerted effort to add a little more of what I want and need: time to rejuvenate through a hobby, and time with my husband. 

And you know what I do get done?  Enough. Each day I do exactly what I was meant to do. I’m doing just fine.

Note to self: remind yourself of these things when the little voice inside your head tells you that you’re not doing enough or that you should be doing more (probably around 6:50 tomorrow morning).

 

I have to say a big, big, THANK YOU to Katie for asking these questions and inspiring this post and the reflection and honesty that came from it.

two for two going on three for three

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This week marks our third week of new recipes.

We’re making it a priority to try one new recipe per week.  Cooking is one of our favorite things to do together and this is a fun way to make sure our weeknights don’t get away from us.  (Read this morning’s post for more on the background here.)

So far we’re two for two on choosing good recipes and recreating them well.

The first week we made a recipe I’ve been wanting to make for like 3 years: Rachel Ray’s Greek Beef Tenderloin in Togas.

This was a great, balanced meal and though it looks difficult, it really wasn’t.  It was a little time consuming but so worth it.  And the recipe made 6 servings so we had lunch for two days in addition to this dinner!

I loved that the steak, orzo, and vegetable salad recipes were all listed in one.  It was a complete meal in one recipe–no need to worry about finding multiple recipes to complete a meal.

Last week, our second week, we made Seared Scallops over Wilted Spinach and Parmesan Risotto from SkinnyTaste.

This dish was so satisfying.

Mike’s thoughts:

“one of the best meals we’ve ever made”

“This is restaurant quality.”

I agree. It was delicious. And again, relatively simple. We love risotto so that wasn’t a problem and the scallops and spinach were super easy in a skillet.

Tonight, we’re trying Tyler Florence’s Cheese Fondue recipe! Hoping we go three for three!