Category: Married Life

What's for Dinner Wednesday: Date Night

Posted on by jplatt27

Back again with another What’s for Dinner? Wednesday and tonight happened to be date night! We haven’t had date night in quite some time: either since my birthday date or when we went to the Nationals’ game. It’s one of my 2012 resolutions to go on one date night per month so tonight not only did I have a nice dinner with my husband but I also got to check a box on resolutions spreadsheet. Win-win!

Mike’s trying to “get into sushi” and we had a Living Social deal for Sushiko in Chevy Chase (Friendship Heights) that expires at the end of the month so we decided to go to Sushiko for our first date night of the year.

We started with some drinks: a rum and Coke for Mike and a mangotini for me.

Then I had a house salad with ginger dressing to start (which I pretty much inhaled and then had to tell myself to slow down, that I’m not in an eating contest, I’m on a date).

Don’t you love how vibrant and fresh that looks?

Next we ordered two rolls to share: the rock shrimp cilantro and the crunchy spicy salmon.  Mike chose both of these and I was happy to oblige.  Sometimes it feels so good to just trust your partner’s judgement. And it paid off.  Both rolls were delicious. The cilantro in the rock shrimp cilantro roll was so bright and fresh, it was awesome!

We topped off our meal with a soft shell crab roll.

Good meal.  I imagine we’ll be back again soon.

I’m glad we both enjoy sushi now.  Sometimes if we need a quick dinner we’ll stop at Whole Foods and grab some out of their pre-made case. It’s so funny how tastes can change.  If you would’ve told me 3 years ago that I’d like sushi by now I probably would’ve said you’re crazy.

I still kind of struggle while eating it though.  I feel like it’s a lot to put the whole thing in your mouth at once but it’s really poor sushi etiquette to not take it all in one bite.  (I learned that on a Bobby Flay Throwdown I think).  And honestly it just looks bad if you don’t. But I feel like it’s a lot to get down and I start to swallow it before I even get to taste it. Does anyone else have this problem?

I’d love to know:

Are you a sushi fan?  

What did you have for dinner?

Gym membership and marriage

Posted on by jplatt27

Love this article from the Wall Street Journal about conquering the gym:

The 27 Rules of Conquering the Gym.

The one that sticks out to me the most is this analogy comparing the gym and marriage:

26. A successful gym membership is like a marriage: If it’s good, you show up committed and ready for hard work. If it’s not good, you show up in sweatpants and watch a lot of bad TV.

I love that!  Because it’s so true. Just having a gym membership and showing up isn’t going to get you in shape and just being in a relationship isn’t going to make it stimulating, satisfying, or happy.  You have to work at it.

Sometimes it’s harder than others.  Sometimes you’re pumped to lace up the sneakers and rock out to your Glee on the elliptical and sometimes you have to repeat “just get out the door” over and over again to get yourself there.

Sometimes you’re excited to listen to your significant other and share your thoughts/feelings/experiences with them and other times you have to remind yourself to be patient and loving so you don’t rip their head off.

But when you do put in the effort, it feels so damn good.

Appreciation —> Happiness

Posted on by jplatt27

Yesterday Jess shared this nugget of wisdom over on Makeunder My Life:

“Stuff doesn’t make people happy. The appreciation of stuff makes people happy.”

As soon as I read this in my Google reader I stopped and immediately posted to Twitter:

Then I pulled up MML to get the URL, hit “Tweet,” and continued reading.  The next line was “Yep, go ahead and tweet it.” And then I felt like a complete tool.  But that’s not the point of this.

The point is that Jess’ statement is so true. The beautiful duvet we got for our wedding doesn’t make me happy; the sight of it on a nicely made bed and the thought of the comfort it provides makes me happy.  Owning a new black cardigan doesn’t make me happy; appreciating that it was exactly what I was looking for, is soft, fits me perfectly, and was only $17 makes me happy. The diamond earrings I got for my wedding don’t make me happy; appreciating their beauty and the fact that they go with everything and I can wear them every day makes me happy.

I think this statement applies to relationships too.  Having a husband/boyfriend/partner doesn’t necessarily make you happy.  Appreciating the laughs you share, the thoughtful things they do for you, the comfort you feel when resting your head on their shoulder or getting a big hug, that’s the stuff that makes you happy. This goes for family members, friends, co-workers, kids, and probably pets as well.

So it’s true appreciation yields happiness.

I’d love to know:

Who or what are you appreciating these days?

PS–A big thanks to Colleen for teaching me how to take a screen shot today!

The day we've been waiting for

Posted on by jplatt27

January 3

The day we’ve been waiting for. No, I’m not talking about the Iowa caucuses or the return of Parenthood tonight.  We’ve been looking forward to today because today is our LAST BED BUG TREATMENT.  Hallelujah!

After today, and some serious laundry and mopping, our bed bug fiasco will. be. over! I can’t wait to put our duvet back on the bed, put our clothes back in our closet and dresser, our books back on our bookshelves.  I’m excited to have our kitchen table back (it’s been holding a bunch of our belongings) and to push our furniture back against the walls–we’ll have so much space to walk again!

So even though its back to work today after a great  4-day weekend, today will be a great day.

I’d love to know:

What does January 3 hold for you?

Day One

Posted on by jplatt27

January 1, 2012 was a good day.

We got up and relaxed and then picked up breakfast items at Starbucks.  We came back and made coffee in the mugs Mike got me for Christmas and had breakfast.

Then we had our money conversation where we figured out our budget, made some goals, and came up with a plan to monitor our variable budget lines: the tracker below.

Our current goals: allocate money each month for life events (i.e. friends’ weddings, Christmas) so we don’t have to put those things on our credit cards, and pay off the lowest of my student loans by the 4th of July. In addition to those two joint goals my goal is to pay off my American Express by April 1. (You can read more about our various accounts here.)

Our other new plan is to chat each time one of us gets paid about upcoming expenses so that we can stay on top of things and continue to be on the same page. Usually we’d just chat when the accounts were getting low, or after one of us randomly checked our online banking. This often left us frustrated and feeling like “we have no money.” But that’s a reactive way to deal with things and we don’t want to be reactive, we want to be proactive. Being reactive leaves you feeling out of control but being proactive will leave you feeling on top.

After our talk, I got in bed to read Catching Fire (the second in The Hunger Games series). I love laying in bed reading especially when it’s sunny out and the sun shines through the window. Of course I fell asleep.  Then I woke up to our neighbor talking on the phone and wishing someone a Happy Birthday! Like not OK. This happens pretty regularly (mostly at night when I get in bed at 9pm) so I figured it was a good opportunity to knock on the door and tell her.  She didn’t answer the door.

We had lunch and did laundry.  Folded it while listening to an old episode of the Dave Ramsey show.  Have you listened to this show? It’s crazy how much debt these people have paid off. Mike and I find it inspiring.

Then we headed down to the National Mall to throw the frisbee around. It was a warm day for winter, Mike was wearing shorts, and when my heart rate started to get up after a few good throws and catches, I took off my jacket.

Sometime in the last two years, Mike and I started throwing the frisbee around. I’m not sure why but I’m so glad we did. Mike really likes to play sports, any type of sport, and when we throw the frisbee around I feel like his buddy.  It’s also exercise, I can get a pretty good sweat going and feel my heart pumping. And it’s a good time for us to chat. When we lived in our old apartment, we’d walk up to the mall and toss it around on the lawn in front of the Capitol. Now that we live further from the Mall, we’ll have to make more of an effort to get down there to do but I really hope we do that more.  Why not take advantage of the great city we live in?

We stopped at Pinkberry on the way home for a light snack.  And then hit the grocery store to get ingredients for dinner.

We made a butternut squash calzone , using the filling from Jessica’s stuffed shells, with a gorgonzola cream sauce on the side. OMG was this good.  I think Mike almost died of satisfaction.

Then we watched Crazy Stupid Love.

January 1, 2012 is reflective of a lot of things I hope the rest of the year will be filled with: productivity, fun, quality time together, creativity in the kitchen, and relaxing time. We were out and about but also home. We were productive but also had time to play.

I’m really hopeful for 2012.  I think it’s going to be a great year.

I’d love to know:

How did you spend January 1, 2012?

Good talk

Posted on by jplatt27

source

Last night Mike and I had a really good talk about money.  We talk about money on pretty regular basis, have worked out numerous budgets over the last couple of years living together, and often the conversations end with me frustrated and stressed.  But last night, the conversation went differently.

We created a budget a few months ago and have been trying to live within the parameters of it since. But we spent too much in November and then with the bedbugs and Christmas presents in December we’re kind of feeling like we’re not in control.  We’d like to get on the same page and really be on top of things going forward. So in preparation for a larger conversation about money, both of us have been thinking a lot about it.

When Mike picked me up for dinner last night, we started chatting about what we’d both been thinking so far: how we should allocate our money, the logistics of paying bills, budgeting, planning to attend friends’ weddings, go on vacation, save, buy Christmas gifts, pay down debt, etc. And we were on the same page.  Mike would say something and I’d say “Yeah, I agree, that’s a good idea.” And I’d say something and he’d say “I was thinking the same thing” or “You’re right.”

I think the difference between that conversation and some of our prior conversations is that we were both on board, both thinking about the issues separately before we came together. In the past we’d sat down to chat about money and we’d ask each other questions we didn’t have the answers for. Then I’d get combative and frustrated when Mike didn’t know exactly when the cable bill is due. But this time we’re both brainstorming, both thinking about potential budgets and different ways to allocate our money. We’re thinking about where we’ve gotten stuck in the past and how we can prepare for those types of things going forward.

We’ll have a more detailed conversation this weekend where we lay out real numbers, come up with a plan to manage our money and communicate about our money on a monthly basis, and decide on long term goals. I hope that by preparing individually for this longer conversation ahead of time, it will be more productive and substantive.

From our conversation last night, I’m thinking it will be.  We were very much on the same page and talking to each other as partners and teammates.  It’s exciting to plan our life together.

Overwhelmed with stuff

Posted on by jplatt27

This is what our apartment looked like when we got home from work on Monday:

No we weren’t robbed. This is how our apartment looked when we prepped for the bed bug treatment. That’s our dining area filled with stuff from our closets, under the bed, other miscellaneous things.

Yep, that’s our bath tub full of trash bags filled with bedding, clothes and shoes. And that’s our bed standing up (there’s nothing else in our bedroom aside from furniture).  And that’s our entry way filled with more trash bags filled with more clothes.

And that’s not even the half of it.  We’re using the vacant studio apartment next door to store most of our clothes.

This process totally sucked before the first treatment when we had to spend an entire day prepping our apartment by cleaning out our entire bedroom and all of our closets and washing pretty much every fabric we own. But then we went to Florida and got a break for the weekend. And it hasn’t been that bad.

But at this point we’re starting to get overwhelmed by the clutter, by the amount of laundry that keeps piling up, at the fact that we can’t find things.  A lot of my pants are snug because they had to go through the dryer and I usually don’t put a lot things in the dryer, and definitely not on high heat (recommended to kill bed bugs). And we’re only halfway through!

A bottle of shampoo spilled in the tub (unbeknownst to us) so when we pulled the bags of bedding out to wash so we could go to bed on Monday night, we ending up getting shampoo on our floor and then we stepped in it and almost slipped. Then when we got back from the laundry room, I got some shampoo on my sock which then got on my leg when I sat cross-legged on the couch.

Packing to go home for Christmas is going to be such a treat. At this point I don’t even remember what clothes I own.  We’ll spend most of the night tonight doing laundry. And at $2 per wash and $2 per dry, this isn’t a cheap process either.  (Though I really can’t complain because our building has been wonderful and is paying 100% of the exterminator’s fees.)

But there is one source of joy in our apartment:

It’s not our best Christmas effort but it’s doing the job. There are four presents under the tree: two for Mike and two for me!  I’m excited to open them at Mike’s parents house on Christmas morning.

Advice on moving in

Posted on by jplatt27

My sister and her boyfriend are moving in together for the first time next semester.  After talking to some different people and hearing horror stories about couples that move into together and then break up, they asked me for my advice on moving in together. Here’s what I came up with (in no particular order):

  • Make sure you have quality time.  Whether it’s a date night, cooking dinner together, or watching a show once a week, make sure you spend quality time together.  It’s easy to be together but not really be present with one another.
  • Make sure you have alone time.  While it’s important to do things together, it’s also important to do your own thing.
  • Figure out how you’ll pay the bills, both where the money will come from and how the bill will logistically be paid (online, check, who will do it). When I lived with roommates in college, we’d leave the bill in the return envelope with a stamp in front of the door with a post-it of how much each person owed and the due date.  Last person to put their check in dropped it in the mail.
  • Pick your battles. Most likely there will be a bunch of habits that randomly irk you when you move in with someone new.  Whether they leave dishes in the sink, leave the bath mat soaking wet, or leave their dirty socks wherever they take them off, figure out which one drives you the most crazy and choose that one. Then communicate that preference to your partner in a polite way.
  • Be patient. It takes time to merge living experiences. Heck, we’ve been living together for 3+ years and we’re still working things out.

I’d love to know (and so would my sister):

What advice would give to a couple moving in together?

We found a little Christmas

Posted on by jplatt27

I think we all have two options: you can control your mood or you can let your mood control you. I often fall victim to my moods–like a few weeks ago when I literally was in a grumpy, tired, unmotivated, blah mood until 4 o’clock in the afternoon.

This weekend I had two experiences where I decided what my mood would be instead of letting my feelings take over. It made me feel really powerful and happy (because I obviously chose a positive mood). I hope that by sharing these experiences, you may be inspired to choose your mood the next time you’re in a crappy mood.

After work on Friday I was super motivated to sit down and put the finishing touches on our wedding album before meeting friends for dinner. I walk in the door of our building and head to the elevator when who do I see coming up the stairs? Mike.  “What are you doing?” I ask. “Doing laundry.  I found another bed bug.” My first thoughts: “You’ve got to be kidding me.  Why are you looking for bugs?” I was kind of angry.

I head to our bedroom, asking Mike where he found said bug.  I’m fuming as I lift the mattress to look for others but then decide “I’m not going down this road. I’m going back to my positive and motivated mood and will finish our wedding album.” Two hours later, I sent edits and approvals to our photographer, checking off a big to-do that’s been on my list for months. I was so excited, relieved, and felt accomplished.

Saturday, Mike and I planned to get into the Christmas spirit by going to the mall, going to see the National Christmas Tree, and watching a Christmas movie while making gingerbread men.  We head to the mall to start our Christmas shopping.  Within an hour 30 minutes, I’m overwhelmed and tired and, aside from two small Haagen-Dazs ice-creams, we haven’t bought a single thing.

Instead of the holly-jolly spirit we intended to get from the mall, (I know, what were we thinking??) I feel more like the grinch. I’m ready to call the whole day off and go home. We decided to go into one more store before heading out.  We end up purchasing one gift, so that makes us feel successful but I’m still kind of exhausted.  When we start discussing the logistics of paying for our Christmas gifts like which account we’ll use, I say something to Mike, he doesn’t understand exactly what I’m saying and I snap at him in the middle of J Crew saying something to the effect of “What, am I not speaking English??” He decides to wait outside.

As we walk to the car, Mike says we can just go home if I want to, and that at this point, it probably won’t even be dark when we get there. I consider it as I pull out of the garage figure that by the time we get there and find parking, it probably will be dark.  But I’m so tired and kind of just want to go home.  And then I decide no, I can turn my mood around.  We’re going to see the tree!

We found parking pretty easily and Mike suggested we stop to get hot chocolate for our walk. “My treat,” he says. We stop at Caribou Coffee for a hot chocolate, and then walk down Pennsylvania Avenue, past the White House and Treasury making our way to the Ellipse, the site of the National Christmas Tree. As we were walking back to the car Marine One flew overhead and landed on the White House lawn. It was so cool!

We picked up pizzas from a place in our old neighborhood, came home and watched Home Alone while we ate our pizza and drank our favorite wine. What could’ve turned into a really sour day ended up being exactly what we hoped it would be.

We let them bite

Posted on by jplatt27

Other potential titles for this post:

  • Why my husband slept on the couch for a week
  • Operation Bed Bug (for real)

Long post ahead…here goes…

Monday after Thanksgiving we woke up with a bunch of bites.  But we had an exterminator coming on Wednesday so we I didn’t fret too much.

Tuesday night Mike did some investigating, checking our bed with a flashlight.  I’m washing the dishes, talking to my sister on the phone when Mike calls “I think I found the culprit.  And I think we have bed-bugs.” He shows me a spot on the underside of the bed skirt, where there are three little black dots that look just like bed bug tracks. (Remember Operation Bed Bug?  That’s how he knew what to look for.) A lot of pacing, sighing, and maybe a little fighting ensued from there.

Wednesday I worked from home so I could be here when the exterminator was here, shed some light on our bites, and what we thought the cause might be.  I showed the exterminator the spot Mike had shown me the night before and said we thought it might be bed bugs. The property manager saw a tiny tiny clear bug walking on the bed skirt in the spot I showed them.  The exterminator caught the bug to take to the lab because it was too small to identify.  Both the exterminator and the property manager assured me that we didn’t have bed bugs, that we would know if we did.  We’d see them in the corners of the wall and in all the seams of the bed. We’d know what the culprit was when the mystery bug was identified in the lab that afternoon.

I’m a happy camper and call Mike at lunchtime to tell him that it’s not bed-bugs.  That the exterminator had checked our bed when he was out the week before and didn’t find any signs of them.  We are so relieved.

Then at 4:30 there’s a knock at the door.  It’s the property manager.  She says I’m sorry to tell you that the mystery bug was actually a baby bed bug.

Have you seen the Jimmy Kimmel video where the kids fall on the floor and start hysterically crying when their parents tell them they ate all their Halloween candy?  Yeah, that’s pretty much how I felt in this moment.

We were scheduled for our first bed bug treatment on Monday and given a packet of what we needed to do to prep our apartment. Here’s a list: wash and dry all clothes, bedding, and other fabrics in hot water and store in trash bags sealed tight; empty all drawers, bookshelves, closets; vacuum all floors; pull all furniture away from the wall.

We were headed to Florida for the weekend for my sister’s birthday so we both took of on Thursday to deal with all of this. And I’m so glad we did.

It was a crazy 48 hours. After $75 at the dry cleaner, 3-5 hours in the laundry room, a couple of arguments, and another night on the couch, we boarded a plane to Florida happy that our apartment was properly prepped for the treatment.

But it doesn’t end there.  We still have two treatments to go, nothing in our bedroom save some sheets on our bed (which, yes, we are sleeping in finally), and trash bags of clothes everywhere. We’re both paranoid in our own way: Mike asking me to use one of my pillows after his fell on the floor in the middle of the night and me wondering if bugs are jumping off me and onto the person next to me on the bus.

Looking forward to mid-January when this will all be over!