Category: Twenty-something

the right question: take out the shoulds

Posted on by jplatt27

I often wake up thinking “what should I do this morning?” and on weekends it’s “what should I do today?”

These questions make me feel totally overwhelmed and set me up for failure.

This is essentially like asking “what am I supposed to do today?” OR “what pressure can I put on myself today?” OR “what obligations can I create for myself today so that when I inevitably don’t do them all I feel bad about myself?”

In response, I’ll start to think about all the things I could do: chores, business tasks, people to call, things that I should do because I live in the city and I should take advantage of them. And then I think about all the reasons why I don’t want to do those things or why I can’t do those things.

It’s pretty terrible actually. It makes me feel terrible and almost paralyzed.

I realized this morning that I do the same with blogging.

I’ll think “what should I write about today?”

Then I start listing possible topics followed by the reasons they’re not the right post for the day or why I can’t or don’t feel like writing that today. And then I just shutdown and don’t write anything.

In my opinion weekends should not be about shoulds. 

And blogging shouldn’t either.

So I’ve come up with two new questions:

What would I like to do today/right now? | What would I like to share on the blog today?

Are there areas of your life where you’re asking questions like these? If so, where and what’s a new question you can ask yourself?

P.S. Part of the reason these questions give me so much trouble: Janice has a field day with them.

fired up on fitting in

Posted on by jplatt27

On Facebook this weekend, I posted that I was feeling very feisty and writing a blog post.  I don’t usually write when I’m mad. It’s really not advisable. But this gets me so fired up, I just had to write about it.

What was the cause of my feistiness? This little clip from the June issue of SELF magazine.

Self Clip.jpg

“Not feeling it tonight? Curl up in your pj’s and connect your Foursquare to CouchCachet.com. It will find stuff in your ‘hood, like a concert, and create a faux check-in. That Say Yes to the Dress binge is your li’l secret.”

Uh, what?!

Seriously? Seriously?! Create a fake check-in? That’s just sad.

But my reaction didn’t stop there. I spent a lot of time thinking about this, my reaction swinging back and forth between anger and sadness.

So why did this little blurb get me so fired up?

Honestly because it’s inauthentic. I’m a life coach so that I can help women step fully into the amazing women they are. To really be themselves.

And this is promoting the exact opposite of that.

First I thought, this is ridiculous, you’ve got to be kidding me. Is the pressure to fit in, to be cool, really that great that we have to fake our plans to keep up? Frustration, anger. At society, at the negative aspect of our social media culture.

And then I thought about the women that would use this app and what they must be thinking, the pressure they must feel to go to these lengths to protect themselves like this. And that made me really sad.

This is a societal thing but an individual thing too. It’s something that’s only going to change one person at a time.

So how about this?

Not feeling it tonight? That’s ok. Be you and own the fact that you just want to have a night to yourself. It’s cool. In fact, posting something on Facebook about what you’re really doing–watching Pitch Perfect or a Say Yes to the Dress marathon–may inspire other people to do the same.

In addition, if you feel like there is so much pressure on you to go-go-go-go-go and be someone other than 100% you. Let’s talk.

Because I know that the real you is worthy. Is amazing just the way you are. Is capable of being who you really are and doing what you really want and still being loved and valued.

So please, if this is you, reach out to me.

P.S. Like Love Always, Jo on Facebook! Already like? Share the page with a friend or two!

between me and who i really am

Posted on by jplatt27

In a recent interview, I was asked: “Do you love who you’ve become?” My response was “I don’t believe I’ve become anyone, I’ve just released all that was blocking me from who I really am.” ~Gabrielle Bernstein, May Cause Miracles

I read this and thought YES! This is my journey!

Trying to release all that’s blocking me from who I really am is exactly the process I’m going through right now. It’s certainly not easy. I feel vulnerable. There’s a lot of fear here. And fear can make you grip on tightly to things that are familiar regardless of how well they serve you.

Some things that are blocking me:

guilt | fear | lack of boundaries | limiting beliefs | my inability to say no

So it’s a process.

But I’m ready to let my true light shine all the time. Not just when I feel safe to do so. I do love the person I am underneath it all and I’m slowly growing my courage and letting go of all the things that keep her small.

What are some things that may be blocking you from who you really are?

my really big dreams

Posted on by jplatt27

Over on my business blog, I recently asked my readers to admit their ambition. The first step in a dream come true is acknowledging the dream at all.

To encourage you to share your dreams, to lead by example, to practice what I preach, and to take the first step in making them come true, I thought I’d share my ambitions here.

My really big dreams:

Self-employed and debt-free by thirty through a six-figure coaching business

Write a best selling personal development book

Throw myself into motherhood (I’m going to be honest, this petrifies me at this point)

Create a home that is warm and welcoming

Host a regular Sunday brunch at our house for the people we love most. So that they know we’ll be there.

Coach on Capitol Hill

Build a premier coaching group for women, one that has the power to give back in a big, big way

Cultivate a love-only relationship between me and my body

Continue to grow the love in my marriage so that years from now we’re still giggling in the morning and dancing in the kitchen

Host a big, fancy, outdoor joint 25th anniversary and 50th birthday party

Join me!

Share one of your dreams in the comments!

the star spangled banner

Posted on by jplatt27

This weekend we checked three things off my DC bucket list: hike on Roosevelt Island, drinks with friends on the waterfront in Georgetown, and visiting the Smithsonian to see the first lady dresses!

It was a great weekend all around but the piece that really struck me, really impacted me, was something I didn’t even expect to see: the original star-spangled banner.

The small exhibit dedicated to the flag that inspired the National Anthem really touched me. I didn’t know that the Star-Spangled Banner was written by Francis Scott Key, who has a bridge named after him going between Georgetown and Virginia.  Something about making that connection hit home for me. I guess it was like “oh, that’s who Francis Scott Key is. Yes, I guess he should have a bridge named after him.” Then thinking about the emotion that inspired the song, wow. And just as I was wrapping my head around that, around the relief, the hope, the pride he must’ve felt when he saw the flag flying at Fort McHenry, I turned the corner and saw it.

The original Star Spangled Banner.  Oh my god.  It took my breath away.

In her gown dedication speech, Michelle Obama spoke of the importance of the Smithsonian Museum and how the items throughout the museum remind us that America was built, our history written by real live people.

That’s exactly how I felt when I saw the flag. Just like wow. Someone made this. Someone wrote that song. My sense of appreciation for the National Anthem and for the American flag grew significantly. And I was proud.

between work and bed

Posted on by jplatt27

I’m realizing how much time there actually is between the time I get off work and the time I go to bed.  (And that’s really saying something considering how early I get in bed…usually around 9pm.)

For the first time since I graduated college, I don’t have a million things going on after work. When I started my current job, I was working at Barnes and Noble part time.  Then I started taking classes and tutoring after work.  Then I continued tutoring and started my coach training program. Now that my coach training program is over, my schedule is so free.  And it’s pretty amazing.

I’m amazed at how many things I can do between the time I come home from work and the time I go to bed. Today, I came home and wasn’t feeling so great so I plopped on the couch and watched an episode of Married to Jonas (seriously, I really love that show, I think Danielle Jonas is really endearing…guilty pleasure), did some tapping to release some stress (this video x3), watched an episode of Army Wives, had dinner, had some quality time with Mike and now I’m blogging before a call with a client at 8:30.

I’ve been a little slower in growing my business than I may have expected because I am so loving this time. I used to be so go-go-go and now I realize how nice it is to have blocks of time, just at home, to be. So I’m giving myself this time.  My business will grow at it’s own pace.

Wow. This is pretty cool. I still have 45 mins before my call. I’m going to fold some laundry and read a little bit.

Share your thoughts:

What do you do after work?

Have you had any instances lately where you realized how time differed from what you thought?

P.S. If you haven’t visited my business site yet, pop on over and check it out.  And while you’re there, sign up for the newsletter! First issue goes out this week!

go at your own pace: what to do when you have two

Posted on by jplatt27

A while ago I wrote about going at your own pace in life and not comparing where you’re at with others.

It hit me this morning that we often struggle to find a good pace within ourselves, that this conflict is often an internal one.

As I mentioned in this post last week, I really want some down time right now. I’m really happy with that realization and am enjoying the space I’m giving myself.

But as I went out for a walk this morning, I thought “oh, I should email so-and-so” and “I need to look over that page on my website.” I’ve also had thoughts like “I want to read this book” and “I want to write that post” and “I want to reach out to this group.”

One part of me is like enjoy this time, space is good, relaxing will help you create. The other part of me is more cautious and saying “go, go, go” and “do, do, do,” fearful that if I don’t take action, if I don’t think about these things every single minute, that nothing will happen.

It’s hard to go at your own pace, what I’d call your soul pace, when there’s that voice in your head saying “hello, what are you doing?”

Here’s how I’m going to handle it: I’m going to keep going at the pace my soul wants to go while acknowledging the voice in my head by saying: “I know you’re looking out for me and want to make sure I get what I want. Thank you for that. But trust me, I know it’s coming. This pace is just fine.”

what i want right now

Posted on by jplatt27

What I want in my life right now, more than anything, is time for me. Time to lay in bed and look out the window. Time to cook delicious meals for myself and my husband.  Time to read and read and read some more.

I want to get my nails done. I want to go to the grocery store. I want to go to yoga and really feel my body. I want to be home. I want to do laundry. I want to make dinner with my husband and dance in the kitchen.  I want to be so in the moment that tears come to my eyes.

I want to remember. I want my mind to drift back to 7-up in CCD, to remember when Mike picked me up from the SATs and brought me a double cheeseburger from McDonalds.

I want time for deep reflection. For learning. For creating. For being.

So even as I work full-time and try to build a business on the side, I’m allowing myself to slow down. Because I suspect that giving myself this time and space will actually attract more of what I want into my life and may actually get me to peace, happiness, and freedom more quickly.

the blue dress

Posted on by jplatt27

On the way to LOFT at lunch yesterday I said to my friend “I’ve been feeling a little pudgy lately, finally realizing how much weight I put on this winter so I’m just going to look for a cardigan to go over the dress I already have. I was trying on dresses at H&M this weekend and I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror. There’s nothing worse than standing in a dressing room in your underwear and feeling fat.”

But then LOFT had so many cute things and I picked up a few dresses and skirts to try on.  As I walked into the dressing room I thought, “oh, I said I wasn’t going to do this.”

Instead of turning around or feeling sorry for myself I made a decision:

I’m going to love my body the way it is right now.

Yep, that’s right.

I’m going to love my body the way it is right now.

Because what else can you do in that moment? You can berate yourself, or you can choose to love yourself.

I chose the latter.

Not only did I end up not getting the “is-that-what-I-really-look-like/i’m-so-fat/ugh” feeling, I ended up getting a blue dress in my normal size that fit perfectly (even after I told my friend I’d probably need the next size up).

How’s that for a reward for self-love?

it's OK if you don't know

Posted on by jplatt27

A few weeks ago, I went back to my alma mater to participate in a career day for sophomores. I was part of a panel called Unexpected Career Paths.  It was so fun to share my career story and hear the stories and advice of other alumni on the panel.

A reoccurring theme through the event, from the keynote address to the panel discussions, was “it’s OK if you don’t know what you want to do.”

Let me repeat that:

It’s OK if you don’t know what you want to do for the rest of your life.

I did. And then I didn’t.

 

But, if you want to figure it out, I’d be happy to help.