Category: Twenty-something

a new kind of saturday

Posted on by jplatt27

Free Saturdays are few and far between for us so when we have one, we almost don’t know what to do with ourselves.

That’s what happened this Saturday.  We woke up late (about 9:30) and moved to the couch for Scandal and a sub-par batch of our go-to pancakes.  Great start to the day.

But then what?

“What should we do today?” we kept asking each other.

Should we go for a hike? Go bike riding? How about a trip to the Newseum? We threw out a bunch of ideas, none of which had any excitement behind them. We couldn’t even decide where we wanted to go for lunch.

Finally I was like let’s just relax for a little bit and we’ll make a move when we’re ready to make a move.  It’s clear we don’t know what we want to do and everything just seems a little forced.

So we hung out around the apartment. We straightened up a little bit, got back in bed for a little bit, and then I showered and spent time doing my hair.

Around 1:30 we left our apartment to get lunch outside at Open City. It was a gorgeous fall day and we sat outside chatting over coffee and breakfast food.

It was so nice to just sit and chat, really chat. Quality time has been a little sparse the last two weeks and I found myself loving the time, just the two of us, nothing to do but enjoy each other’s company.

From there we went to the grocery store (boo-yah for getting that done early in the weekend) and came back to relax before heading out to dinner.

I love this kind of Saturday.  It’s almost the opposite of my other favorite way to spend a free Saturday: get up; go for coffee, a bagel, and some reading at my favorite coffee shop/bookstore; head to yoga; come home and relax. I love being a morning person and heading out before the hustle and bustle of the day.

But there’s also something to be said for just going with the flow.  In just doing what you feel like doing, when you feel like doing it.  Not because you feel like you should do something just because you can or because it’s a cool thing to do.  No, if you don’t feel like it, don’t.

We’ll see what type of Saturday we feel like when we wake up on our next free one in two weeks. I’m going to remember the joy we had in this type of Saturday and not put pressure on myself to do something just for the sake of doing something.

How do you like to spend a Saturday? Do you feel pressure to go-go-go or are you more go with the flow?

 

oh hey student loans

Posted on by jplatt27

As November approaches, the six month grace period on many student loans is coming to an end and panic mode is starting to set in for some 2012 grads I know.  The weight of the debt and monthly payments is starting to set in.  Fear and overwhelm follow.

I’ve been there. With the principal on my student loans, I could buy a sizable house in the mid-west so I get it.

I get the stress and overwhelming feeling that come along with dealing with student loans for the first time. Not only is there a massive amount owed and sizable monthly payments, but trying to figure it all out on the bank’s website can be a little like reading a different language.

What’s due, when?  How long will this take?  How much will I owe when all is said and done? Consolidating?  How do I do that?  How do I know if it makes sense for me?

I have to call the bank? What?  Do I have to? I know it seems so daunting, you’d probably rather re-take the SATs.

But truthfully, once you get acquainted with the loans and the monthly payments, it’s really not that bad. They’re not as scary as they seem.

I suggest you get friendly with your student loans right off the bat. Just go up and say hello. Find out what you can about them, do a little digging, be patient because they may not reveal all of their baggage in the first date.  Take a deep breath.

Try not to get frustrated if they don’t communicate as clearly as you’d like.  You’ll be able to figure out what they mean soon enough.  Be persistent.

Also, don’t run away screaming when they start talking about your future together.  So maybe you don’t know where you want to be in 2022. That’s ok. If you want to take things slow or speed things up, you can explore that later.  For now, you’re just getting to know each other.

Get to know them.  Be open.  Don’t get defensive. The first step in figuring out your relationship, in deciding how you want things to go from here, is going on the first date.

P.S. Spring for a full evening instead of just a quick coffee.

weekend to myself & a challenge

Posted on by jplatt27

After three consecutive weekends of visitors and travel, I was looking forward to having a normal low-key weekend to relax.

Mike happened to be traveling this weekend for work so I had the weekend to myself.  Bonus! I kind of feel bad saying it but then again I don’t.  I really need me-time, time alone to just do my own thing.

Friday night I laid low and relaxed at home–watched Grey’s Anatomy, called my sister, got in bed early at my normal time to read.

Saturday morning I woke up early thinking about my business so I did some brainstorming and drafting in bed. Then I sat in front of my happy light and watched an episode of Super Soul Sunday. I love Super Soul Sunday and highly recommend it if you haven’t seen it.

I went back to sleep for a little while. I love doing that.

When I woke up, I re-started my day with a little more energy. I went to my favorite coffee shop for some reading.  I perused the bookstore for a little while and even treated myself to a new book.  Then I went to Body Flow–haven’t been in forever so that felt great.  After that I decided to go to Bed Bath and Beyond for some velcro rollers.

Maybe I came out with all of this:

 

I also stopped at Marshall’s and picked up a mirror for our bedroom, something I’d been meaning to do for a while. (It was in my letter to myself). It felt kind of bold at the time because I went into Marshall’s on a whim and was in and out of there with a mirror in about 10 minutes.  I didn’t call Mike, I just gave myself permission to make a purchase like this. Go me!

Then I came back and relaxed, finished the episode of Super Soul Sunday, talked to Amanda, tried the velcro rollers, helped Chrissy make a budget, talked to Becca. Nice little afternoon.

Here’s how the rollers came out:

I think I’m digging this!

Saturday night I had a dinner meeting with some friends–I’m coordinating their wedding in two weeks and we went over all the details.  Looking forward to sharing more about that soon!

Sunday morning I stayed in bed until I absolutely had to get up to get ready.  My new friends Kristen and Rachel came into DC and we went to Tryst for chaippucinoes (chai with espresso).

During our conversation we were talking about reaching out to people we’re not close to share support, information they may be interested in, etc.  We each had people in mind that we’d thought about reaching out to but for some reason or another just hadn’t–mostly because we thought maybe it would be weird.

I know from experience, from comments on the blog and from personal Facebook messages, how much a little note like can make someone’s day. So we decided that we would each reach out to some of those people this week and that’s where the challenge comes in.

Challenge

Are there certain people you follow religiously on Facebook? You read their statuses, look through an entire album of photos even though you haven’t talked to them in real life for a while?  I know, I do! For most of us, it stops there.

But it doesn’t have to.  This week I challenge you to reach out to one of these people.  Send a note to say hello, to let them know that you’re thinking about them, and whatever other positive things you want to say.  Make this your own. Make someone’s day.

So what do you say?  Are you in?

 

what's the goal?

Posted on by jplatt27

6:07 this morning.

I get out of bed to head to the gym.

I sit on the couch to put on my sneakers, thinking that maybe that’s not a good idea, I don’t want to get too comfortable.

As I fill up my water bottle I realize I’m moving kind of slow and am tempted to get back in bed.

But then I realize that my goal is to get to the gym three times a week.  That’s it.

It’s not get to the gym with pep in your step.

It’s not go to the gym and run 5 miles.

It’s not pop out of bed at 5:40 and run to the car to get to the gym.

It’s not go to the gym and do my strength training routine from my trainer complete with lunges and squat jumps.

No, it’s get to the gym.  It’s that simple.

So maybe I’m moving kind of slow and sitting on the couch lacing up my sneakers, maybe I’m not bouncing out the door revved for a killer work-out.  Maybe my legs can’t even fathom lunges this morning.

It’s ok.  Because as long as I get there, I’ve met my goal.

So I let myself take my time filling my water bottle.  And then I thought, maybe I’ll just bring my book and sit on the bike and pedal and read. I strolled to the car instead of walking with purpose.

I got the gym, parked myself on an upright bike next to two other readers, opened my book and started pedaling and reading.  It felt good to move my body and I could feel myself starting to warm up.

I lasted 7 minutes before my mind started to wander and I wanted to move more.

I switched to a spin bike, turned on my iPod, and started grooving and spinning.

If I would’ve stopped before I walked out the door, stopped because I thought I couldn’t do it, I would’ve missed out on the benefit that my goal is set to up to give me: energy.

And because I allowed myself to relax and refocus on the goal instead of the perfect completion of the goal, I not only met the goal but exceeded it.

 

 

 

four sisters

Posted on by jplatt27

I had a great time last weekend and this weekend was just as good!

My sisters were here!

We didn’t really do much–we just wanted to be together and that’s exactly what we did.

We spent Friday and Saturday nights just lounging in my apartment, calling our brother on speaker phone for a lively discussion on Friday and watching the Kardashians and Married to Jonas on Saturday.

We had lunch at Matchbox on Saturday followed by dinner at Open City on Saturday night and great conversations flowed during both meals.

I love these girls. I hope that one day we’ll all live close to each other and have be able to hang like that all the time.

weekend in the city

Posted on by jplatt27

Last weekend I went to New York for a girls weekend.

I took the bus up on Saturday morning and navigated myself to Jen’s apartment on the Upper East Side.

Not kidding when I say that the only reason I didn’t get on the subway going the wrong direction was because when I looked at the photo in. my. phone. I realized the sign said downtown. Yikes.

We met up with the girls at Max Brenner.

Even though it was three in the afternoon, I had to get the chocolate chip pancakes. They did not disappoint.

Then we wandered around for the afternoon/early evening before having dinner and drinks.

On Sunday morning, we planned to meet for brunch at Hannah’s apartment in Brooklyn. Jen and I decided to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge on our way.

It was a gorgeous day, perfect for a walk.  Also perfect for brunch outside on the terrace followed by a visit to a nearby park.

Mid-afternoon, I met Amanda for another walk, this time in Battery Park.

We also stopped for a snack and had some delicious sangria and great conversation at a perfect window seat.

After my afternoon with Amanda, I headed to meet some of my favorite people from high school for dinner.

After some debate we decided as a table to go for the Sunday Supper: whole fried chicken and a bunch of sides, an appetizer, and dessert! Great decision.

Monday I spent the day with Jen. We got bagels, mani-pedis, stopped in to see her mom and 4-month old niece, had Thai food for lunch, and did a little shopping.

I wanted to show you my manicure–I went a little trendy and got one different color nail–but I forgot to take a picture and now they’re all chipped.

I hopped on a 5:00 bus back to DC.

I read O, The Oprah Magazine, and watched an episode of Downton Abbey. We made great time back to DC getting in around 9:20.

It was a great weekend filled with some great girl time.  Love girl time.

if you have to cry, go outside. [a review]

Posted on by jplatt27

I got Kelly Cutrone’s If You Have to Cry, Go Outside: And Other Things Your Mother Never Told You from a friend who’d read it and thought I would like it.

Honestly I was a bit skeptical going into it.  I didn’t know who Kelly Cutrone is and the cover didn’t really pull me in. I mean “if you have to cry go outside” isn’t really a mantra that resonates with me. (Clearly.  1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

But this book was far from the coldness I felt in the title.  Frankly, it was warm and comforting.

Kelly (think I can call her that?) discusses finding yourself in your twenties and early thirties after the school path you were on ends and you’re left to design your own. She talks about many things that I’ve struggled with during my quarter-life crisis: career, babies, spirituality, relationships.

I was touched by her honesty, by her wisdom, and by how much her words resonated with me.  How much her message aligns so much with my own.

Some passages that resonated with me:

“I happen to believe the world will change only when we change ourselves.  And that starts with finding ourselves.  And that starts with listening to ourselves: learning to quiest the clamor in our minds and the voices of everyone around us and move toward what feels right–toward the things we know, for reasons we can’t explain, that we’re meant to do, the things that make us feel alive.” p. 9

“Study as many religions and teachings as possible; take what you like from each and leave the rest…Women should spend as much time looking for a religion of their own as they do trying to find a hot guy to have sex with. Because let’s be honest: there are too many examples of magic and miracles in this world to say with any certainty that there isn’t something fantastically wonderful going on here…if you don’t have faith in yourself and in something larger than yourself, and if you want to take this world at face value, you’re going to have a fucking nasty ride.” pp. 75-76

“We’re constantly moving from level to level, trying to collect the promised prizes, without stopping to think about the order we want these things to come in, or whether we even really want them at all.” p. 99

“It doesn’t matter how glamorous or lucrative a career may seem fro the outside; if it’s not the path you’re meant to be on, you will never be happy or fulfilled doing it.” p. 136

“I firmly believe that each woman is a goddess and that deep down inside herself she knows it.” p. 151

Aren’t these gems?  I’m sure there are many others that I loved but for whatever reason didn’t jot down as I was reading.

I really enjoyed this book and have already recommended it to a few friends. And now I recommend it to you.

Thank you, Kelly, for sharing this wisdom with us.

Question for you:

Do any of the passages above resonate with you?  If you’ve read the book, do you have others to add?

 

joanna's morning affirmations

Posted on by jplatt27

Have you seen Jessica’s Daily Affirmations on You Tube? It makes me smile every time.

I love this little girl’s excitement over life.  She’s so energetic and full of love.

I’ve actually been feeling pretty full of love recently so I thought I would do my own.

Here’s my version:

I love my sisters.

I love my life.

I love my hair.

I love my body.

I love my husband.

I can do anything good.

I love my apartment, and my bed, and the windows.

I love my co-workers.

I love my mom.

I love my dad.

I love my brother.

I. love. everything!

I love my friends.

I love my kitchen.

I love my clothes.

I have everything I need.

I love my bus and the sun and my neighborhood.

I. am. happy.

And powerful.

I am enough.

I am strong.

I am beautiful.

I love me.

Geez, imagine I woke up each day and recited these to myself in the mirror with the same gusto and enthusiasm and authenticity as Jessica.  How powerful would that be?

I invite you to join me by sharing a few lines of your own in the comments or on the Things After the Rings Facebook Page. Bloggers, I’d love to see you post your own on your blog.

Imagine if we all woke up each day and said things similar to this to ourselves in the mirror.  Wow, there’d be a lot of a happy women walking around.

[two questions]: getting it done day to day

Posted on by jplatt27

I’m so happy to answer my first questions from a reader!  One of my sorority sisters asked these questions and I have to be honest, they were a little bit of a doozy for me. I’ll explain at the end.

What is your daily schedule?

~5:30 Wake up, no alarm. Stay in bed looking out the window and thinking.  This is a huge part of my “me time.” I used to get up and go to the gym 3-4 days a week but recently I just haven’t been feeling it and just relishing that time in bed.

6:00 Alarm goes off for Mike.

~6:40 I get out of bed before the last of about 6 snoozes goes off.

~7:00 Mike is out of bathroom and we’re having breakfast and watching Morning Joe or Mike & Mike (kind of together, kind of not)

7:45 Mike is off to work.

8:35 I leave to catch the bus. (Read more about my morning routine or lack thereof here.)

9ish-5ish work

6:00 Mike’s home

Evenings consist of coaching calls, tutoring, teleclasses, dinner, some TV, trying to have quality time with my husband.

~9:05 I’m in bed.

 

How do you get everything done?

There are two parts to this answer:

1) I don’t, some things get put off. Perfect example: the big peach spot on the bottom of our tub.  It’s gone now because on a whim I thought “ok, this has gotta go” but it was there for about 2+ weeks before I did anything about it.

2) My husband helps a lot. I was actually thinking about this recently after a friend asked “how do you do it all?” That was the primary answer I came up with.  Of course I’d love to think that I’m super woman but really, Mike does a lot for me.  From grocery shopping, to cooking, to cleaning, to managing our money, Mike really does a lot.

—————————

To be honest, I struggled a lot in answering these questions.  I came up with two questions as a nice, easy way to share things about married life, relationships, life as a twenty-something but these threw me a little bit.  The answers about driving and where we eat dinner, piece of cake.  Ask me about money, I have an answer for that. The questions about friends and couples, a little harder but just took a little thinking to articulate my thoughts.

But these, I procrastinated on this post a little.  Ok, a lot actually.  I could’ve written this post over the weekend when I had time to sit in my bed with my computer, window open, nice breeze coming in, watching OWN, and writing.

I did NOT want to answer these questions this morning when I had plenty of time to draft a post. And I had a little bit of anxiety when I thought about writing this post when I was relaxing after work.

It’s now 9:17 and I’m still up typing away.

Here’s why.  I wasn’t ready to own the answers to these questions. These answers aren’t completely working for me and so it was a bit harder to share them.

Frankly, when it comes to my schedule, I’m working with what I’ve got at this point.  It’s not ideal.  I’d like to have a little more balance and relaxation in my week, more time for my husband.  Ideally, I’d have happy hour plans once a week between Monday and Thursday and the gym would be back to something I just do. I’d work significantly less than I do and my work wouldn’t creep into my mornings and evenings like it does now.

How do I get everything done? Geez, just hit me where it hurts! I always feel like I’m not doing enough.  That I could be doing more, more, more in every aspect of my life.

But you know what my schedule does reflect? Trying to strike a balance between work and personal time, something that’s very important to me. I’m proud that I give myself the time I need and that I’m working toward a dream.  And that I made a concerted effort to add a little more of what I want and need: time to rejuvenate through a hobby, and time with my husband. 

And you know what I do get done?  Enough. Each day I do exactly what I was meant to do. I’m doing just fine.

Note to self: remind yourself of these things when the little voice inside your head tells you that you’re not doing enough or that you should be doing more (probably around 6:50 tomorrow morning).

 

I have to say a big, big, THANK YOU to Katie for asking these questions and inspiring this post and the reflection and honesty that came from it.

full of grace

Posted on by jplatt27

Today I’m participating in my first official Five Minute Friday.  I did write for 5 mins a few Fridays ago but I didn’t post what I wrote. But the point of this exercise is to just write for five minutes without judgement or editing to see what comes out.  So here it is.  What came out for me with the word graceful.

GO

Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee…

I can still recite this prayer from heart like it was yesterday.  Though some others have fallen off of my radar, for some reason the Hail Mary is right on the tip of my tongue.

I haven’t been to church aside from weddings in quite a while.  Well, the Catholic church that is.  Mike and I were married in the Presbyterian Church and made a little bit of an effort to get to a few services when we were home before our wedding.  While I enjoyed the services, they also made me very emotional.

I started not going to church at the beginning of college.  I went to one service at the Catholic Church on campus and I wasn’t fond of the priest so I didn’t return.  Something about the service didn’t do for my soul what my church growing up had done.

Since then, I’ve been wondering what role religion will play in my life.  I loved going to church as a kid but I wonder if the reasons I had for going to church then are the same reasons I’d go to church now.

STOP