Author: jplatt27

don’t cry. don’t say that.

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I’m a crier. I’ve always been a crier and will always be a crier. I cry in conversations with friends, I cry at commercials. I’ve cried at work, and in yoga class, and in church. This is all pretty normal for me.

So take it from me, when someone is crying, the last thing they want to hear someone say is “don’t cry.” Please don’t say that. It doesn’t do anything for the person crying. When you say that, it cuts off the connection.

When someone is crying, you don’t necessarily have to say anything. When someone is crying, you don’t necessarily have to do anything.

The best thing you can do for a person crying is hold space for their tears.

Tears are sacred. Don’t be scared of them. Let them come. And let yourself be present for the person shedding them, whether that’s you, a loved one, or a stranger.

 

P.S. A beautiful little short on the power of empathy. Please watch this.

 

a quote to help with uncertainty

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I’ve been feeling a little uncertain about my career and purpose lately (read: since college) so this quote, shared in my Desire Map Book Club Facebook group, really resonated with me. I read it and felt like it was written just for me. If you’ve been feeling uncertain or anxious, I hope you find comfort in it too.

Sending so much love,
Joanna

“Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”  ~Rainer Maria Rilke

i desire…

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desire

I’m leading a book group as part of Danielle LaPorte’s World’s Biggest Book Club. At the end of our last meeting we went around and shared, off the cuff, what we desire. (inspired by p. 23)

I desire…

to giggle with my husband at least once a day, to make a ritual of taking our future kids to Barnes and Noble and/or the library regularly to pick out new books together, to write, to have my words inspire and comfort other people, to host a standing Sunday brunch, to have a job that lights me up, to move my body every day in a way that feels right that day, to let go and feel free, to have fresh painted nails more often than not, to get in bed at the end of the day feeling a good kind of tired and already relaxed, to get lost in a good book, to go to happy hour regularly…

That’s all for now.

Wanna play? Share in the comments! It’s fun!

 

link love

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hot choc.jpg

This is my second weekend in a row with no plans! I’m totally loving it and for once, letting myself relish in not having plans and not putting pressure on myself to make any or do a million things. Have a relaxing weekend!

A Facebook friend shared this article with the caption “a must-read for educators.” I think it’s a must-read for everyone.

This op-ed has been circulating for a while but I hadn’t actually read it until this week. I was chatting with a co-worker about busyness and how I don’t want to answer “Good. Busy.” when someone asks me how I am. No kidding, within 20 minutes this link showed up in my inbox…sent my a former co-worker. So weird. I read it. It’s worth a read. The whole thing.

Two blog posts with truths that almost brought me to tears: an open letter to parents from a non-parent and one on getting married at 23.

On Love Always, Jo this week:

A reader sent this video in response to my post on gratitude. The student talks about how vulnerable saying thank you is. It’s so true. I was really hesitant to publish my post on Thursday because it made me feel really vulnerable–what if I interpreted the my colleagues the wrong way? what if this is stupid and silly? Anyway, enough about me, watch the video.

Have you read anything good lately? Share in the comments!

choc. chip cookies and basketball tickets

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cookie box 2

Earlier this week, I made cookies for colleagues that took time to speak to the Lafayette students I hosted for an externship (essentially a job shadow). I packed them up in little boxes that I got at Target and delivered them with a handwritten thank you note.

I was surprised at how touched my colleagues were by this gesture. I got so many thank you’s for my thank you. But it was more than that. It seemed like it really touched their hearts.

Then, my heart was really touched when I was on the receiving end of a gesture like that…

On Tuesday afternoon, I got an email from a colleague in athletics:

Joanna, Good afternoon. Would you like two tickets to the Men’s Basketball game tomorrow night? Let me know if you’d like them and I’ll place them at will call for you.

My colleague didn’t explicitly say that this was a “thank-you” but regardless I was touched by this generosity. By his thinking of me and taking time out of his day to do this for me.

These experiences got me thinking about gratitude and connection. I think people just want to know they’re valued. And to have that expressed with a gesture like cookies was really nice. To be offered basketball tickets totally out of the blue (I’ve never been to a game!) was an acknowledgement of respect. These little things go a really long way.

Talk to me:

Have you been acknowledged or thanked recently in a way that really touched your heart?

Is there someone in your life that you’d like to thank?

 

book review: bread and wine

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bread and wine

Bread and Wine: A Love Letter to Life Around the Table with Recipes by Shauna Niequist was one of the most-wanted items on my Christmas list this year.

This book fell in the cozy category on the list and it was exactly that. A book to cuddle up with to be reminded about the joys of life. The tenderness of relationships and family.

This book filled me with hope and connected with my soul in a way that I’ve rarely experienced before.

The truths in this book brought me to tears or made me want to scream “yes!” Passages like:

That’s what shame does though. It whispers to us that everyone is as obsessed with our failings as we are. p. 230

The heart of hospitality is about creating space for someone to feel seen and heard and loved. It’s about declaring your table a safe zone, a place of warmth and nourishment. p.114

Basically, I just really liked this book. Climbing into bed to read a chapter or two or getting cozy on the couch on a weekend day was such a treat. Yep, that’s what this book was to me, a treat.

 

two ah-ha’s i had during coaching

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two cups of tea.jpg

I’ve had great sessions with my coach the last two weeks and had some big ah-ha moments. While they stand alone, they also relate to each other. In both cases, I almost cancelled the sessions because I “didn’t have anything to talk about.” I’m so glad I didn’t.

Here they are.

It’s OK to be OK.

This came during my first coaching session of the new year. I had a lot of things to look forward to and not much to really discuss. In the beginning of the session, I found myself almost searching for something tough, frustrating, or bothersome to talk about but nothing really came up or felt authentic to talk about in that moment. As I talked it out, I realized “it’s OK to be OK.” It’s OK to not have a complaint for a week. To be happy where you’re at and excited about where things are going. It’s OK to relish the times when things are going your way. When you’re feeling at peace.

In the my next session, I felt the same way. While I had a little bit of resistance and anxiety come up about some things coming down the pike, I’m mostly excited about the opportunities in front of me. I mentioned my fear and we acknowledged that it’s totally normal.

We kept talking about these opportunities and how they are so perfect for me. How they align really well with who I am, what I love, my strengths. They are perfect for me now and perfect to get me where I want to go in the future. We talked about how they fit into a future I hadn’t really openly considered until then. One thing lead to the next and 45-mins went by. Things came out that I had been thinking about and all these dots just connected. It was awesome. So powerful. And that’s when I realized…

Coaching isn’t only for conflicts and problems. It can also be about taking good to great. 

Uh, duh. You’d think I’d know this. Of course, as a coach myself I do know this.

So often we start coaching to get someone out of a conflict or help them make a decision that’s imminent. That what I’ve worked on myself and what I’ve worked on with clients.

But there is also so much value in talking through future ideas, brainstorming, talking about what’s working, why it’s working, and where we may want to go from here, how we can build on the goodness. It’s so powerful to have a space to talk through those types of things. I loved it.

And now that I know this, now that I’ve learned this through experience, I certainly won’t forget this anytime soon.

(You may have to remind me about the first one though…)

Sending love,

Jo

 

how will you demonstrate your worthiness?

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Do you know how worthy you are?

You are a beautiful human being capable of great things. The love you have in your heart is tremendous and can truly change the world.

So how do you let this beauty and love show through each day? How will you demonstrate your worthiness?

Is it a smile to a stranger? Cooking for someone you love? Letting someone know you appreciate them, even if sharing those feelings is a little awkward?

Is it giving yourself the same kindness you give to others? Is it practicing patience and settling into the waiting?

Is it recognizing that self-care isn’t frivolous and enjoying a nice long bath or face-mask? Is it preparing a fresh, vibrant salad for dinner tonight?

How will you show love today?

How will you demonstrate your worthiness?

Tell me, I want to know.

thinking about resolutions? i’ve got a question for you

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Hiiiii!!!!

Ahhh, how are you?? It’s so good to see you! {{{ HUG }}} {{{ BIG HUG }}} Mmm. It’s good to be back. And I’m glad you’re here too. I’m a happy camper.

So much talk about resolutions lately. I don’t really have much to say on the topic. I’m feeling kind of meh about the whole thing.

So let’s talk about you instead. I’ve got a message for you spurred by a conversation with a client.

Client: “I’m just not good at not being myself.”

Me, in my head, sarcastically: “Really?? I wonder why?”

But in all seriousness, if that isn’t a universal truth, I don’t know what is. We all suck at not being ourselves.

The good news is that we don’t need to be anyone but ourselves. That does, however, require a little bit of courage. But you can do it. And you’re worth it.

As you think about your resolutions and your hopes for 2014, let me ask you this:

what will you do to be you this year?

how will you shine brightly as your authentic self this year?

 

P.S. If you are making resolutions…here’s a post about making them stick >>>

link love

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cookies and coffee

It’s the Saturday before Christmas! I’m going to be enjoying time at home in PA for the week and will be taking a break from posting until after the New Year. In the meantime, I hope to do a lot of great blog planning and make some changes to the site to make it a little easier to navigate. Also in the meantime, I plan to soak up family time, eat at our hometown favorites, and soak up more family and friend time.

Here are some links to keep you busy while I’m away…

Recipes

This pasta was so so good (and so quick). Is definitely going to be a go-to in our house.
I love pancakes and I love chocolate and lemon together so I made this ricotta pancake recipe the first chance I had. It did not disappoint.

Beautiful stories 

Why your stress may be a blessing in disguise
On what makes a house a home. You can feel the love, joy, and sadness in this post.
Not kidding, these photos made me cry. A lot.

On food and body image (and how our moms’ experiences impact ours)

A letter to Mum (this is long but I recommend reading the whole thing)
Amazing spoken word from a college student

From Danielle LaPorte

The real reason some people are bad for you
As you think about what you want in 2014, a reminder that you’ll need space to let it in and another one

On Love Always, Jo

My first vlog is getting some buzz on Twitter. Have you seen it yet?
How to keep the holidays joyful…going to try to take my own advice this break 🙂
I made a new kind of Christmas list this year…and I’m getting really excited to see what Santa brings me!

Questions for you:

Anything you’d like to see more of on Love Always, Jo in 2014? Let me know!

What should I be reading over break? I think a lot of my favorite bloggers will slow down so I’ll be looking for something to read…do share!