Author: jplatt27

link love

Posted on by jplatt27

I think there is nothing better than waking up on Saturday morning, getting coffee, and reading. Each Friday, I’ll share some links that I think are worthy of falling into that precious Saturday morning time.

Coffee cup

1. This beautifully written article about body image: A 5 year old called me fat and changed my perspective

2. I love flavored water and may make one of these three recipes for my next vision board party

3. Part of my dream job is helping other people find their dream job so I loved this article from Fast Company that confirmed what I already know to be true: in order to find your dream job, you have to know and be able to articulate exactly what you’re looking for (if you want me to help you find work you love, ask me about my what do you REALLY want to do session)

4. This video has been going around on Facebook this week but I just love it…kids are so sweet

5. Do you feel stressed? Try tapping. Short intro with demo. Longer video that explains tapping and has demo. 

What you may have missed on Love Always, Jo this week:

 

fired up on fitting in

Posted on by jplatt27

On Facebook this weekend, I posted that I was feeling very feisty and writing a blog post.  I don’t usually write when I’m mad. It’s really not advisable. But this gets me so fired up, I just had to write about it.

What was the cause of my feistiness? This little clip from the June issue of SELF magazine.

Self Clip.jpg

“Not feeling it tonight? Curl up in your pj’s and connect your Foursquare to CouchCachet.com. It will find stuff in your ‘hood, like a concert, and create a faux check-in. That Say Yes to the Dress binge is your li’l secret.”

Uh, what?!

Seriously? Seriously?! Create a fake check-in? That’s just sad.

But my reaction didn’t stop there. I spent a lot of time thinking about this, my reaction swinging back and forth between anger and sadness.

So why did this little blurb get me so fired up?

Honestly because it’s inauthentic. I’m a life coach so that I can help women step fully into the amazing women they are. To really be themselves.

And this is promoting the exact opposite of that.

First I thought, this is ridiculous, you’ve got to be kidding me. Is the pressure to fit in, to be cool, really that great that we have to fake our plans to keep up? Frustration, anger. At society, at the negative aspect of our social media culture.

And then I thought about the women that would use this app and what they must be thinking, the pressure they must feel to go to these lengths to protect themselves like this. And that made me really sad.

This is a societal thing but an individual thing too. It’s something that’s only going to change one person at a time.

So how about this?

Not feeling it tonight? That’s ok. Be you and own the fact that you just want to have a night to yourself. It’s cool. In fact, posting something on Facebook about what you’re really doing–watching Pitch Perfect or a Say Yes to the Dress marathon–may inspire other people to do the same.

In addition, if you feel like there is so much pressure on you to go-go-go-go-go and be someone other than 100% you. Let’s talk.

Because I know that the real you is worthy. Is amazing just the way you are. Is capable of being who you really are and doing what you really want and still being loved and valued.

So please, if this is you, reach out to me.

P.S. Like Love Always, Jo on Facebook! Already like? Share the page with a friend or two!

my brave husband and the conversation no woman wants to have

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A Tuesday night cuddling on the couch turned into a conversation no woman wants to have.

Mike: Want to go to the gym with me in the morning?

Me: No. No gym for me.

Mike: Yeah, I noticed you haven’t been to the gym in a while.

From there, he went on to express concern about my sabbatical from the gym and my subsequent weight gain and the impact of both on my health.

I’m speechless. This is a girl’s worst nightmare. I think I almost laugh because I feel so uncomfortable. I don’t know what to say.

Part of me is frustrated. Part of me is just so embarrassed. And I’m like crap, what am I supposed to do with this information?

I don’t want what I do or do not eat* and how often I exercise to be about my husband. I want it to be about me. Decisions I want to make for myself not because I want a pat on the back.

I thanked Mike for saying something. It’s something I’d been feeling myself–that my body wasn’t where I wanted it to be. I’d been feeling fat. Most of my clothes don’t fit. But I’m so focused on my business right now that I put my physical health on the back burner. I was letting myself go a bit. I also acknowledged him for saying something because it takes courage to bring something like this up to your wife.

I was really stunned by the conversation and cried in bed when Mike left the room.

The next morning I felt pretty bad. I wasn’t sure what to do with this conversation. I decided to keep it to myself rather than share it with a friend on gchat or blurt it out to a colleague first thing. I wanted to take this seriously and to give myself time to process. I also didn’t want to fall into negative energy for the whole day.

I ended up telling a friend at happy hour, let myself be vulnerable and cry a little bit, share my embarrassment.

The next morning I decided I’d move more and stop eating when I feel full. I’m not going to go crazy and put pressure on myself to hit the gym every single day or go on an intense diet.

It hurt to hear that from my husband. But I’m so glad he told me. If he didn’t, who would?

I’m grateful he brought it to my attention. Literally just brought it to my attention. Now that I have this awareness, I will be more conscious about my behavior and make different choices. Actually make choices. I had gotten into the trap of not thinking about it at all.

I think what Mike did was really brave. Because that was a hard conversation to have. But he loves me and he cares about me. And I know that. This conversation demonstrates that.

 

P.S. Have you liked Love Always, Jo on Facebook? If, not, go over and click like now!

have you met janice?

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Janice

This is Janice. She looks pretty cute, right? Yeah, don’t let that fool you. She can be vicious.

Janice represents the little voice in my head that tries to keep me small. She says that I’m not good enough, I’m not doing enough. She says that perfect is the only way. That I can do more, be more.

She can be so loud and so convincing. And she means well. She wants to protect me and make sure I live up to my potential. But if I listened to everything Janice said, I wouldn’t step into my greatness, into my power.

We all have a Janice.

IPEC (my coaching school) calls this your Gremlin.

Martha Beck calls this your inner lizard.

Others call this your inner critic.

Regardless of what you call it, it’s that voice in your head that just. won’t. shut. up. The one that says you’re not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough.  That you’ll never be able to land your dream job, that you’ll be single forever, that you’ll never have enough money.

It’s like a little devil on your shoulder.

Giving your gremlin a name is the first step in overcoming the blocks that your gremlin creates.

Want to take the first step in overcoming your gremlin? Give him/her/it a name and persona. That way, when you hear the voice, you can recognize it for what it is.

Want to go deeper? The Calm Your Inner Critic Process might be perfect for you.

 

 

i don’t finish every book i start

Posted on by jplatt27

I was reading The Dinner recently. Even though I was more than half way through, I just wasn’t into it. I was bored. And even though there is supposed to be a twist or something interesting happening at the end, I didn’t really care to get to the end.

One of my core desired feelings (Danielle LaPorte, anyone?) is to be engaged. To be excited and pulled into something. And this book just wasn’t doing it for me.

So, I let it go. I closed it with no intention to pick it back up. And honestly, that small decision made me feel powerful.

Life’s too short to do things that don’t make you feel good. Life’s filled with too many opportunities for things that make us feel good to hang on to arbitrary obligations. So I try not to do that anymore.

Ok, talk to me in the comments:

What’s something in your life that’s not grasping you in the way you’d like? What would it be like to let it go?

What’s the last book you read that you could. not. put. down??

 

failure to launch

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I had big plans for the launch of my new blog. Fireworks. Lots of buzz. Lots of excitement.

But honestly, I have no idea what that meant. And I wanted to start writing again. To start sharing again. That’s why I blog–to share. Not to get famous or have people cheering and whistling.

So I decided to just go ahead, get a few things re-organized, update some pages and click publish. Nothing big, nothing crazy. Everything not perfectly figured out.

Sometimes you just have to do that in life. Make a move without everything perfectly figured out. Just get started.

So, hello again.

It’s been a while, and I’m happy to be back. 

Want to help me celebrate? Pick your favorite post and share it on social media.

between me and who i really am

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In a recent interview, I was asked: “Do you love who you’ve become?” My response was “I don’t believe I’ve become anyone, I’ve just released all that was blocking me from who I really am.” ~Gabrielle Bernstein, May Cause Miracles

I read this and thought YES! This is my journey!

Trying to release all that’s blocking me from who I really am is exactly the process I’m going through right now. It’s certainly not easy. I feel vulnerable. There’s a lot of fear here. And fear can make you grip on tightly to things that are familiar regardless of how well they serve you.

Some things that are blocking me:

guilt | fear | lack of boundaries | limiting beliefs | my inability to say no

So it’s a process.

But I’m ready to let my true light shine all the time. Not just when I feel safe to do so. I do love the person I am underneath it all and I’m slowly growing my courage and letting go of all the things that keep her small.

What are some things that may be blocking you from who you really are?

my really big dreams

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Over on my business blog, I recently asked my readers to admit their ambition. The first step in a dream come true is acknowledging the dream at all.

To encourage you to share your dreams, to lead by example, to practice what I preach, and to take the first step in making them come true, I thought I’d share my ambitions here.

My really big dreams:

Self-employed and debt-free by thirty through a six-figure coaching business

Write a best selling personal development book

Throw myself into motherhood (I’m going to be honest, this petrifies me at this point)

Create a home that is warm and welcoming

Host a regular Sunday brunch at our house for the people we love most. So that they know we’ll be there.

Coach on Capitol Hill

Build a premier coaching group for women, one that has the power to give back in a big, big way

Cultivate a love-only relationship between me and my body

Continue to grow the love in my marriage so that years from now we’re still giggling in the morning and dancing in the kitchen

Host a big, fancy, outdoor joint 25th anniversary and 50th birthday party

Join me!

Share one of your dreams in the comments!

the star spangled banner

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This weekend we checked three things off my DC bucket list: hike on Roosevelt Island, drinks with friends on the waterfront in Georgetown, and visiting the Smithsonian to see the first lady dresses!

It was a great weekend all around but the piece that really struck me, really impacted me, was something I didn’t even expect to see: the original star-spangled banner.

The small exhibit dedicated to the flag that inspired the National Anthem really touched me. I didn’t know that the Star-Spangled Banner was written by Francis Scott Key, who has a bridge named after him going between Georgetown and Virginia.  Something about making that connection hit home for me. I guess it was like “oh, that’s who Francis Scott Key is. Yes, I guess he should have a bridge named after him.” Then thinking about the emotion that inspired the song, wow. And just as I was wrapping my head around that, around the relief, the hope, the pride he must’ve felt when he saw the flag flying at Fort McHenry, I turned the corner and saw it.

The original Star Spangled Banner.  Oh my god.  It took my breath away.

In her gown dedication speech, Michelle Obama spoke of the importance of the Smithsonian Museum and how the items throughout the museum remind us that America was built, our history written by real live people.

That’s exactly how I felt when I saw the flag. Just like wow. Someone made this. Someone wrote that song. My sense of appreciation for the National Anthem and for the American flag grew significantly. And I was proud.

between work and bed

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I’m realizing how much time there actually is between the time I get off work and the time I go to bed.  (And that’s really saying something considering how early I get in bed…usually around 9pm.)

For the first time since I graduated college, I don’t have a million things going on after work. When I started my current job, I was working at Barnes and Noble part time.  Then I started taking classes and tutoring after work.  Then I continued tutoring and started my coach training program. Now that my coach training program is over, my schedule is so free.  And it’s pretty amazing.

I’m amazed at how many things I can do between the time I come home from work and the time I go to bed. Today, I came home and wasn’t feeling so great so I plopped on the couch and watched an episode of Married to Jonas (seriously, I really love that show, I think Danielle Jonas is really endearing…guilty pleasure), did some tapping to release some stress (this video x3), watched an episode of Army Wives, had dinner, had some quality time with Mike and now I’m blogging before a call with a client at 8:30.

I’ve been a little slower in growing my business than I may have expected because I am so loving this time. I used to be so go-go-go and now I realize how nice it is to have blocks of time, just at home, to be. So I’m giving myself this time.  My business will grow at it’s own pace.

Wow. This is pretty cool. I still have 45 mins before my call. I’m going to fold some laundry and read a little bit.

Share your thoughts:

What do you do after work?

Have you had any instances lately where you realized how time differed from what you thought?

P.S. If you haven’t visited my business site yet, pop on over and check it out.  And while you’re there, sign up for the newsletter! First issue goes out this week!