Tag: quarter-life crisis

link love

Posted on by jplatt27

There is nothing better than waking up on Saturday morning, getting coffee, and reading. Each Friday, I’ll share some links that I think are worthy of falling into that precious Saturday morning time.

Chaippucino and crossaint.jpg

 

1. I’ve been feeling intense sadness lately and appreciate this post from Danielle LaPorte about the difference between depression and sadness. I’m definitely sad, not depressed.

2. Members of Congress meditating? Yep, you read that right. I’m really interested in Congressman Tim Ryan’s work and spent last Saturday morning reading his book A Mindful Nation: How a Simple Practice Can Help Us Reduce Stress, Improve Performance, and Recapture the American Spirit. I’m excited to share this Huffington Post article about his efforts to bring mindfulness meditation to Capitol Hill.

3. I spent the month of June creating space in my life so when I read this post about an anti-frantic life, I was like yes. This post totally gives words for what I’ve experienced and what I’d like to create. If you’re a go-go-go-go-go type of person, read this.

4. Need a little pep talk? Watch this. Gets me every time. (Maybe schedule a calendar reminder to watch it on Sunday afternoon or Monday morning.)

Only one new post on the blog this week:

I’ll be back with more new posts next week. Have a great weekend!

 

fired up on fitting in

Posted on by jplatt27

On Facebook this weekend, I posted that I was feeling very feisty and writing a blog post.  I don’t usually write when I’m mad. It’s really not advisable. But this gets me so fired up, I just had to write about it.

What was the cause of my feistiness? This little clip from the June issue of SELF magazine.

Self Clip.jpg

“Not feeling it tonight? Curl up in your pj’s and connect your Foursquare to CouchCachet.com. It will find stuff in your ‘hood, like a concert, and create a faux check-in. That Say Yes to the Dress binge is your li’l secret.”

Uh, what?!

Seriously? Seriously?! Create a fake check-in? That’s just sad.

But my reaction didn’t stop there. I spent a lot of time thinking about this, my reaction swinging back and forth between anger and sadness.

So why did this little blurb get me so fired up?

Honestly because it’s inauthentic. I’m a life coach so that I can help women step fully into the amazing women they are. To really be themselves.

And this is promoting the exact opposite of that.

First I thought, this is ridiculous, you’ve got to be kidding me. Is the pressure to fit in, to be cool, really that great that we have to fake our plans to keep up? Frustration, anger. At society, at the negative aspect of our social media culture.

And then I thought about the women that would use this app and what they must be thinking, the pressure they must feel to go to these lengths to protect themselves like this. And that made me really sad.

This is a societal thing but an individual thing too. It’s something that’s only going to change one person at a time.

So how about this?

Not feeling it tonight? That’s ok. Be you and own the fact that you just want to have a night to yourself. It’s cool. In fact, posting something on Facebook about what you’re really doing–watching Pitch Perfect or a Say Yes to the Dress marathon–may inspire other people to do the same.

In addition, if you feel like there is so much pressure on you to go-go-go-go-go and be someone other than 100% you. Let’s talk.

Because I know that the real you is worthy. Is amazing just the way you are. Is capable of being who you really are and doing what you really want and still being loved and valued.

So please, if this is you, reach out to me.

P.S. Like Love Always, Jo on Facebook! Already like? Share the page with a friend or two!

what i want right now

Posted on by jplatt27

What I want in my life right now, more than anything, is time for me. Time to lay in bed and look out the window. Time to cook delicious meals for myself and my husband.  Time to read and read and read some more.

I want to get my nails done. I want to go to the grocery store. I want to go to yoga and really feel my body. I want to be home. I want to do laundry. I want to make dinner with my husband and dance in the kitchen.  I want to be so in the moment that tears come to my eyes.

I want to remember. I want my mind to drift back to 7-up in CCD, to remember when Mike picked me up from the SATs and brought me a double cheeseburger from McDonalds.

I want time for deep reflection. For learning. For creating. For being.

So even as I work full-time and try to build a business on the side, I’m allowing myself to slow down. Because I suspect that giving myself this time and space will actually attract more of what I want into my life and may actually get me to peace, happiness, and freedom more quickly.

three links and another for good luck

Posted on by jplatt27

Happy Monday!

Yesterday, we saw a purple-ish hue around the Tidal Basin, signs that the Cherry Blossoms are going to start blooming soon! Then this morning, we woke up to a winter wonderland. I wish I would’ve taken a picture during my commute this morning.  The trees were perfectly snow coated and looked so magical against a snow-covered Cathedral.

Today I want to share three posts that were shared with me this weekend that really spoke to me.  If you’re looking for something fun to do on your lunch break, take a look!

My best friend, Tina, and I are doing a 21-day meditation challenge and can totally relate to the realizations about spirituality and meditation shared in this article from hellogiggles.com.

It’s hard having friends all over the place, at “home,” in New York, and with work and other responsibilities, it’s hard to see friends that are even just scattered across DC as much as I’d like to.  I often wish my favorite people lived in my apartment building and I loved how that sentiment was shared in this post and the questions the author poses about it. Thanks for sharing, Jen!

And last, but certainly not least, I loved this post and recipe that Kristen shared in Friday Favorites this week. I agree that sometimes we just need to shake things up and I loved how she applied that message to this recipe.  Mike and I made this for dinner last night and it was yummy.  We used turkey sausage and I think it would’ve had deeper flavor with pork sausage so we’ll definitely use that next time!

And, because I truly believe that just because someone says you “should” do something doesn’t mean it’s the right thing for you, another one for good luck: Danielle LaPorte’s newest.

it's OK if you don't know

Posted on by jplatt27

A few weeks ago, I went back to my alma mater to participate in a career day for sophomores. I was part of a panel called Unexpected Career Paths.  It was so fun to share my career story and hear the stories and advice of other alumni on the panel.

A reoccurring theme through the event, from the keynote address to the panel discussions, was “it’s OK if you don’t know what you want to do.”

Let me repeat that:

It’s OK if you don’t know what you want to do for the rest of your life.

I did. And then I didn’t.

 

But, if you want to figure it out, I’d be happy to help.

what i do as a life coach

Posted on by jplatt27

In September 2011, I wrote this on my blog:

We were on the boardwalk and a little girl was sitting two benches down from us admiring a new hermit crab and holding onto a green balloon.  It’s pretty windy here today and the balloon got caught in the wind and started bouncing down the boardwalk.  Did the little girl cry?  Nope.  She said “let’s get it” and started running after it with a big smile on her face.  She and her uncle finally caught up to it and she walked back our way with her arms around the balloon and a huge smile on her face.  They walked past us on their way to do whatever it is they were going to do next.  Two or three minutes later, we see a green balloon bouncing by again. It brushes Mike’s leg as it bounces under the bench we’re sitting on and a pinkish red one follows.  And here comes the uncle chasing after it again, the little girl following quickly behind, still with a big smile on her face.  And i thought, this is a great metaphor for life.  If your green balloon starts to blow or bounce away, just run after it with a big smile on your face. You’ll get it.

This is what I do now. As a life coach, I help my clients chase after their balloons with a smiles on their faces.

a fraternity house & a pain in my heart

Posted on by jplatt27

I was driving back from the grocery store and passed a fraternity house in the neighborhood. There were guys and girls outside grilling burgers and drinking beer.  It was an Indian summer night–high 70’s on October 24. The whole thing seemed so carefree.

I only saw them for a second but I got a pang of nostalgia in my heart. I miss those days when your life could be dictated by the weather.  Hey, yeah, it’s warm out, let’s have a cook out. And everyone you know is pretty much free for burgers and beer pong.

Prior to this scene I was proud of myself for making the commitment to go to the grocery store on a weeknight after I’d already been home from work, for deciding to be proactive and get the ingredients to make pumpkin dip for my book club.

Like woah, I’m old. Not only am I not in college anymore, but enough time has passed that I could’ve gotten another undergraduate degree.  Done the entire thing over again.

I miss those days of friends all the time, group lunches, shorts and flip flops, and boys walking around in backward hats.

Thinking back on this scene now, I’m filled with the same intense nostalgia that hit me that night. I’ve had bouts of nostalgia a few times over the years, but nothing like this.  I’m not sure where it’s coming from and why it’s staying with me.  I just know it’s here now.

 

 

oh hey student loans

Posted on by jplatt27

As November approaches, the six month grace period on many student loans is coming to an end and panic mode is starting to set in for some 2012 grads I know.  The weight of the debt and monthly payments is starting to set in.  Fear and overwhelm follow.

I’ve been there. With the principal on my student loans, I could buy a sizable house in the mid-west so I get it.

I get the stress and overwhelming feeling that come along with dealing with student loans for the first time. Not only is there a massive amount owed and sizable monthly payments, but trying to figure it all out on the bank’s website can be a little like reading a different language.

What’s due, when?  How long will this take?  How much will I owe when all is said and done? Consolidating?  How do I do that?  How do I know if it makes sense for me?

I have to call the bank? What?  Do I have to? I know it seems so daunting, you’d probably rather re-take the SATs.

But truthfully, once you get acquainted with the loans and the monthly payments, it’s really not that bad. They’re not as scary as they seem.

I suggest you get friendly with your student loans right off the bat. Just go up and say hello. Find out what you can about them, do a little digging, be patient because they may not reveal all of their baggage in the first date.  Take a deep breath.

Try not to get frustrated if they don’t communicate as clearly as you’d like.  You’ll be able to figure out what they mean soon enough.  Be persistent.

Also, don’t run away screaming when they start talking about your future together.  So maybe you don’t know where you want to be in 2022. That’s ok. If you want to take things slow or speed things up, you can explore that later.  For now, you’re just getting to know each other.

Get to know them.  Be open.  Don’t get defensive. The first step in figuring out your relationship, in deciding how you want things to go from here, is going on the first date.

P.S. Spring for a full evening instead of just a quick coffee.

if you have to cry, go outside. [a review]

Posted on by jplatt27

I got Kelly Cutrone’s If You Have to Cry, Go Outside: And Other Things Your Mother Never Told You from a friend who’d read it and thought I would like it.

Honestly I was a bit skeptical going into it.  I didn’t know who Kelly Cutrone is and the cover didn’t really pull me in. I mean “if you have to cry go outside” isn’t really a mantra that resonates with me. (Clearly.  1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

But this book was far from the coldness I felt in the title.  Frankly, it was warm and comforting.

Kelly (think I can call her that?) discusses finding yourself in your twenties and early thirties after the school path you were on ends and you’re left to design your own. She talks about many things that I’ve struggled with during my quarter-life crisis: career, babies, spirituality, relationships.

I was touched by her honesty, by her wisdom, and by how much her words resonated with me.  How much her message aligns so much with my own.

Some passages that resonated with me:

“I happen to believe the world will change only when we change ourselves.  And that starts with finding ourselves.  And that starts with listening to ourselves: learning to quiest the clamor in our minds and the voices of everyone around us and move toward what feels right–toward the things we know, for reasons we can’t explain, that we’re meant to do, the things that make us feel alive.” p. 9

“Study as many religions and teachings as possible; take what you like from each and leave the rest…Women should spend as much time looking for a religion of their own as they do trying to find a hot guy to have sex with. Because let’s be honest: there are too many examples of magic and miracles in this world to say with any certainty that there isn’t something fantastically wonderful going on here…if you don’t have faith in yourself and in something larger than yourself, and if you want to take this world at face value, you’re going to have a fucking nasty ride.” pp. 75-76

“We’re constantly moving from level to level, trying to collect the promised prizes, without stopping to think about the order we want these things to come in, or whether we even really want them at all.” p. 99

“It doesn’t matter how glamorous or lucrative a career may seem fro the outside; if it’s not the path you’re meant to be on, you will never be happy or fulfilled doing it.” p. 136

“I firmly believe that each woman is a goddess and that deep down inside herself she knows it.” p. 151

Aren’t these gems?  I’m sure there are many others that I loved but for whatever reason didn’t jot down as I was reading.

I really enjoyed this book and have already recommended it to a few friends. And now I recommend it to you.

Thank you, Kelly, for sharing this wisdom with us.

Question for you:

Do any of the passages above resonate with you?  If you’ve read the book, do you have others to add?

 

Imagine having a baby

Posted on by jplatt27

Friday night Mike and I were out to dinner and I had this thought “I can’t imagine us having a baby right now.” (Yes, I realize this seems contradictory to what I told you two weeks ago.)

For some reason this image of us carrying a baby in a car seat walking down Barrack’s Row popped into my head as I sat at a high-top table in the window at Matchbox, enjoying a glass a wine across from my husband on a gorgeous Friday evening.

Initial Reactions

OMG, I can’t imagine carrying a baby around, I thought. I can’t imagine having to worry about someone else 24-7.

Half the time I’m too tired to wash the dishes after dinner, where will I find the energy to take care of a baby?

I can hardly get myself together in the morning; I’m always doing a million things. How will I be able to get a baby ready for the day when half the time I’m rushing to get a lunch together before I head out the door. (I almost missed the bus the other day because Justin Beiber was on the Today Show. I mean, hello?! Does that sound like mom material to you? I think not.)

I know that you make room in your life for a baby, that your routine and schedule just shift to make it work. But I don’t want to not be able to do things we like to do because we have a baby and his or her schedule trumps everything.

And no, of course your life doesn’t have to stop when you have a baby. You can still be social and do things, just take the baby with you.

I was actually surprised and inspired by the number of couples I saw with babies strapped on them as we hiked in Great Falls. Yes! I want that to be us.  I want to still be out and about when we have a baby.

I’d love to hold a baby and cuddle with a baby–someone else’s baby that I can give back.  That would be nice.

But having a baby indefinitely… I can’t wrap my head around that.

After thinking about this for almost a week, here’s why…

I enjoy my life as it is right now and feel like I’m on the cusp of some major self discovery. I struggled a lot after college graduation trying to figure everything out and felt very lost at times.  But I’ve learned so much about myself in the last 6-9 months, and am starting to see the light at the end of my quarter-life crisis tunnel. I’m really enjoying this time, being selfish and focusing almost all of my energy on myself and what I want.

When I imagine having a baby, I’m older and have my act together.  I have a solid routine, my apartment is clean. I’m full of energy.  I can stay up til 10. I imagine I’m like 35 or what I think I’ll be when I’m 35: totally with it and put together. I like to feel like I’m with it and put together right now and that I’ve got a lot of things figured out, but where I’m at currently and the level I see myself at when I’m a mom are a few steps apart.

And right now, I’m really enjoying the process of figuring it all out.

_____________________

[as you can imagine I have many more thoughts where these came from…perhaps a part II and even III are in order]