under pressure

Posted on October 16, 2013 by jplatt27

I designated June as the “Month of Me” and spent the month relaxing, reading, cooking, having fun. I told myself I’d take June to relax and take a break from the go-go-go-go-go schedule that’s dominated my life since before high school and then hit July with gusto and dive head first into my business.

June was so great. I was really enjoying myself. And then July came along.

I’m not kidding, July 1 I started to feel sad. The sadness came up and up, just kind of lingering under the surface. I didn’t know where it was coming from. Things were and are good. But this underlying feeling of sadness was there and kept growing.

When we got back from vacation, the feelings of sadness got more intense and soon turned to overwhelming anxiety.

I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. Then I thought, hmm, this started around July right at the end of the Month of Me, I should start playing more and having more fun. So I did that. It worked a little bit but wasn’t a magic bullet.

This morning it hit me. The Month of Me was great not because of the play and the joy I felt. The reason the Month of Me was so wonderful was because of the lack of pressure.

That’s it. The lack of pressure.

Because I took the pressure off myself and allowed myself to oh, I don’t know, just live my life, I was able to ENJOY my life. To have fun. To do things I like.

I let myself relax in June and then slammed the pressure back on July 1. And it hit me like a ton of bricks.

The pressure I feel is 100% self inflicted. I am my own worst critic and put so much pressure on myself, beat myself up. And that sucks the joy out of things.

Knowing that my joy is tied to the amount of pressure I (and/or Janice) put on myself, I can start to examine the pressure and question it. Acknowledge it, think about it, and then allow myself to let it go and relax and enjoy my life.

Things always get done. Ideas always come. I don’t need to be thinking about my goals and my business success every. single. second. In fact, when I’m enjoying my life and doing things that make me feel like me, I’m more creative and motivated and things get done.

To relaxing and enjoying life! Cheers!

Do you put pressure on yourself? How do you let it go or could you let it go?

just playing around

Posted on September 19, 2013 by jplatt27

Earlier this week I mentioned that I’ve been trying to play more. While it’s seemed a little scary at first, I’m getting into it! Here are some things I’ve done to play in the last two weeks.

I started doodling when I get home from work for a few minutes. Just sitting down at the kitchen table for 10 minutes or so. It’s been calming. Here’s my first doodle:

It’s a boat on solid ground!

I didn’t set out to draw a boat. I actually started with the paper portrait orientation and drew a hang-man like upside-down L. Then I drew what became the sail and turned the paper sideways. Before I knew it there was a boat. And then there was a boat with grass underneath it.

Who knew there was going to be so much meaning/message to my first doodle.

One night last week, Mike and I played Scrabble.

It’s not lost on me that the word “zen” was my highest scoring word in the game.

I also bought watercolors and some other paints. Here’s my first watercolor:

Isn’t it so fun??

And lastly, Mike and I through the frisbee around at the Cathedral the other night before dinner. It was SO fun. I was running, running, running to get the frisbee, you know “going long.” I was smiling SO much. I kind of felt like a happy dog running to catch a ball in its mouth. It was so great.

Mike can catch the frisbee between his legs so I was trying to pick up that trick. No luck. (as you can imagine). Enjoy that visual, will ya?

I’m telling you, this play thing is no joke. It’s so good for the soul. So I challenge you, how will you play this weekend??

play? what does that mean?

Posted on September 16, 2013 by jplatt27

I’ve been struggling lately. Anxiety at an all-time high. Panic attacks. Weeping like I’ve never wept before (though that seems to have subsided, thankfully). I actually didn’t even realize that what I’ve been experiencing is anxiety because the dry mouth, night sweats, lack of appetite in the morning, and crazy intense feeling in my solar plexus that I’ve been having are not my usual anxiety symptoms.

That’s why I haven’t posted in a while.

I googled “anxiety cures” the other day, and after finding a bunch of random things that were both a little tempting and a little scary/seemingly scammy, I came across this article. Charlie says that he cured his anxiety through play.

“Huh,” I thought. “That’s interesting.”

Why not try it? What do I have to lose? I could use a little more fun in my life.

This begs the question…

What does play mean to me?

I talked to my coach about it and here’s what I’ve come up with:

Biking–a few years ago my friend Jen was in DC for the weekend and we rented bikes. At the end of our ride we biked up this steep hill and I just remember peddling my heart out. I was grinning from ear to ear and surprised and how amazingly fun it was. I biked all the time as a kid and LOVED it.
Coloring/doodling/drawing
Body Combat–I was a regular at Body Combat before my wedding and again, this is one of those activities that leaves me with a goofy grin on my face. The class just makes me feel so powerful and fierce; it really is FUN.
Dancing
Yoga
Frisbee toss with Mike
Long walks
Painting

I’m trying to think of more things and add more play into my life. I’m not going to lie, sometimes thinking about play fires up my anxiety. It scares me a little bit. It’s almost like I’m afraid of what might come up when I settle in and let myself enjoy it.

It’s funny, my friend Allie and I went on a hike yesterday and then settled in with a bottle of wine at a nearby vineyard. Immediately I started to feel guilty. Like I shouldn’t be doing this. I should be working or doing something. I told Allie that I felt like I didn’t deserve this goodness, this relaxation. She said “But you do. Doesn’t everyone?” I nodded and thought “of course.”

So that’s what I’m working on lately. Learning how to play. Learning how to settle in and let myself enjoy.

What does play mean to you? What activities allow you to relax and feel joy?

reflections on daring greatly: my vulnerability armor

Posted on August 22, 2013 by jplatt27

In her book, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, Brene Brown describes the different ways we arm ourselves against vulnerability.

Here’s one:

“The Shield: Numbing.

If you’re wondering if this section is about addiction and you’re thinking This isn’t about me, please read on. This is about all of us. First, one of the most universal numbing strategies is what I call crazy-busy.”

Oh my God, that’s me.

She continues:

“I often say that when they start having twelve-step meetings for busy-aholics, they’ll need to rent out football stadiums. We are a culture of people who’ve bought into the idea that if we stay busy enough, the truth of our lives won’t catch up with us.”

This was a big ah-ha moment for me and made me take a step back and think about things. I’ve spent most of my life over-scheduled, always go-go-go-go-go. When I read this I was like “ooohhhhh, that makes sense.”

And here’s the result:

“I believe we all numb our feelings. We may not do it compulsively or chronically, which is addiction, but that doesn’t mean we don’t numb our sense of vulnerability. And numbing vulnerability is especially debilitating because it doesn’t just deaden the pain of our difficult experiences; numbing vulnerability also dulls our experiences of love, joy, belonging, creativity, and empathy.”

Woah. Don’t want to do that anymore.

So yeah, this was a powerful section of the book for me. For someone that believes that she does feel her feelings and that they don’t do things to numb emotions, this was a big wake up call.

Does this resonate with you? I’d love to hear from some others like me!

Have you read Daring Greatly? What are you taking away? What vulnerability armor are you carrying?

back from wine country

Posted on August 12, 2013 by jplatt27

I’m back from a week-long vacation in Sonoma, California, also known as wine country. We had a great time–good experiences, good wine, good food. I’m still trying to process it all but one thing I know I want to bring back/maintain in my “normal” life is the lack overwhelm. I really enjoyed just living in the moment and enjoying things one thing at a time. Check in with me in a few weeks and ask how it’s going. I really hope I can keep this up.

PS–Have you liked Love Always, Jo on Facebook yet? Only one like needed to get to 100!

wine country vacation: what i’m looking forward to

Posted on August 4, 2013 by jplatt27

Packed and ready to go!

We’re headed to Sonoma, California! We rented a house with some friends in wine country for the week and the excitement is finally sinking in!

On this trip I’m looking forward to (in no particular order):

1. reading, I love reading in general so on vacation it’s a must. Choosing the books for my vacation is one of my favorite things. This trip I’m bringing Lean In and The Engagements.

2. eating outside (another one of my favorite things)

3. laughter, lots and lots of belly laughs

4. biking, we’re doing a self guided winery tour by bike

5. quality time with Mike I’ve been a little out of sorts lately so quality time between us has been lacking. I’m looking forward to getting back to myself and sharing the whole me with Mike.

I’ll be back in DC on the 11th and should be back to the blog sometime that week. Ok, gotta go! Cabs coming in 20.

Have a great week my friends!

What do you look forward to on vacation?

link love

Posted on July 19, 2013 by jplatt27

I think there is nothing better than waking up on Saturday morning, getting coffee, and reading. Each Friday, I’ll share some links that I think are worthy of falling into that precious Saturday morning time.

1. This beautifully written article about body image: A 5 year old called me fat and changed my perspective

2. I love flavored water and may make one of these three recipes for my next vision board party

3. Part of my dream job is helping other people find their dream job so I loved this article from Fast Company that confirmed what I already know to be true: in order to find your dream job, you have to know and be able to articulate exactly what you’re looking for (if you want me to help you find work you love, ask me about my what do you REALLY want to do session)

4. This video has been going around on Facebook this week but I just love it…kids are so sweet

5. Do you feel stressed? Try tapping. Short intro with demo. Longer video that explains tapping and has demo.

What you may have missed on Love Always, Jo this week:

fired up on fitting in

Posted on July 17, 2013 by jplatt27

On Facebook this weekend, I posted that I was feeling very feisty and writing a blog post. I don’t usually write when I’m mad. It’s really not advisable. But this gets me so fired up, I just had to write about it.

What was the cause of my feistiness? This little clip from the June issue of SELF magazine.

“Not feeling it tonight? Curl up in your pj’s and connect your Foursquare to CouchCachet.com. It will find stuff in your ‘hood, like a concert, and create a faux check-in. That Say Yes to the Dress binge is your li’l secret.”

Uh, what?!

Seriously? Seriously?! Create a fake check-in? That’s just sad.

But my reaction didn’t stop there. I spent a lot of time thinking about this, my reaction swinging back and forth between anger and sadness.

So why did this little blurb get me so fired up?

Honestly because it’s inauthentic. I’m a life coach so that I can help women step fully into the amazing women they are. To really be themselves.

And this is promoting the exact opposite of that.

First I thought, this is ridiculous, you’ve got to be kidding me. Is the pressure to fit in, to be cool, really that great that we have to fake our plans to keep up? Frustration, anger. At society, at the negative aspect of our social media culture.

And then I thought about the women that would use this app and what they must be thinking, the pressure they must feel to go to these lengths to protect themselves like this. And that made me really sad.

This is a societal thing but an individual thing too. It’s something that’s only going to change one person at a time.

So how about this?

Not feeling it tonight? That’s ok. Be you and own the fact that you just want to have a night to yourself. It’s cool. In fact, posting something on Facebook about what you’re really doing–watching Pitch Perfect or a Say Yes to the Dress marathon–may inspire other people to do the same.

In addition, if you feel like there is so much pressure on you to go-go-go-go-go and be someone other than 100% you. Let’s talk.

Because I know that the real you is worthy. Is amazing just the way you are. Is capable of being who you really are and doing what you really want and still being loved and valued.

So please, if this is you, reach out to me.

P.S. Like Love Always, Jo on Facebook! Already like? Share the page with a friend or two!

between work and bed

Posted on April 22, 2013 by jplatt27

I’m realizing how much time there actually is between the time I get off work and the time I go to bed. (And that’s really saying something considering how early I get in bed…usually around 9pm.)

For the first time since I graduated college, I don’t have a million things going on after work. When I started my current job, I was working at Barnes and Noble part time. Then I started taking classes and tutoring after work. Then I continued tutoring and started my coach training program. Now that my coach training program is over, my schedule is so free. And it’s pretty amazing.

I’m amazed at how many things I can do between the time I come home from work and the time I go to bed. Today, I came home and wasn’t feeling so great so I plopped on the couch and watched an episode of Married to Jonas (seriously, I really love that show, I think Danielle Jonas is really endearing…guilty pleasure), did some tapping to release some stress (this video x3), watched an episode of Army Wives, had dinner, had some quality time with Mike and now I’m blogging before a call with a client at 8:30.

I’ve been a little slower in growing my business than I may have expected because I am so loving this time. I used to be so go-go-go and now I realize how nice it is to have blocks of time, just at home, to be. So I’m giving myself this time. My business will grow at it’s own pace.

Wow. This is pretty cool. I still have 45 mins before my call. I’m going to fold some laundry and read a little bit.

Share your thoughts:

What do you do after work?

Have you had any instances lately where you realized how time differed from what you thought?

P.S. If you haven’t visited my business site yet, pop on over and check it out. And while you’re there, sign up for the newsletter! First issue goes out this week!

what i want right now

Posted on April 3, 2013 by jplatt27

What I want in my life right now, more than anything, is time for me. Time to lay in bed and look out the window. Time to cook delicious meals for myself and my husband. Time to read and read and read some more.

I want to get my nails done. I want to go to the grocery store. I want to go to yoga and really feel my body. I want to be home. I want to do laundry. I want to make dinner with my husband and dance in the kitchen. I want to be so in the moment that tears come to my eyes.

I want to remember. I want my mind to drift back to 7-up in CCD, to remember when Mike picked me up from the SATs and brought me a double cheeseburger from McDonalds.

I want time for deep reflection. For learning. For creating. For being.

So even as I work full-time and try to build a business on the side, I’m allowing myself to slow down. Because I suspect that giving myself this time and space will actually attract more of what I want into my life and may actually get me to peace, happiness, and freedom more quickly.

Joanna Platt

Tag: relaxing